


This Is All So Very Confusing

by Delition



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Insecurity, Involuntary sex, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Suicide, Self-Harm, Sexual Tension, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Build, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, body issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-03-14 21:59:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 63,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3427085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delition/pseuds/Delition
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter and Deadpool have never been on "friendly" terms with one another, no matter how much the merc thinks of them as Best Buds. Wade crashes into Peter's apartment one night, making him wary of the merc finding out his secret identity. His opinion towards Wade is the same as everyone elses: Crazy, Insane, batshit, ect. While Wade's opinion of the spider is complete adoration. The two of them are on complete opposites when it comes to each other, but the more they "hang out" the more they learn about each other, at times coming closer, and farther apart.<br/>A mysterious shadow creature doesn't make any of this easy for the two, and seems to live to fuck with their heads.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting is such sweet sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story in AO3 and my first Spideypool fic! If there are any mistakes feel free to note me about them so I can fix them! I dont have a schedule for updating this yet, but please leave a comment or kudos! (: It would help me want to keep continuing!

Peter didn't know what was happening in that moment. One second he was sitting on his small, cheap couch in his apartment, reading about the latest news in robotics, then the next second there a loud crash and glass flying towards him. Hell, forget the glass, there was a body flying towards him. At first he thought maybe it was someone coming to assassinate him and he jumped up grabbing the steel bat that he kept leaned up against the side of his couch just in case he didn't have time to change into his Spider-man costume. Besides, he didn't want to give away who he was in his own apartment.

  
Peter crouched, holding the bat steady, ready to strike. The room was dim, only the lamp near his couch was on. He could barely make out how large the misshapen figure was in the darkness. He shuffled his feet closer to the figure that was now lying on his floor, unmoving. This was bad, were they dead? Did he have a dead body in his apartment? Did anyone else hear or see the figure crash through his window? Peter could feel his heart pounding in his chest, not letting his guard down in case this was some kind of trick to get him to get close enough to strike him down. What confused him, though, was that his Spider-sense didn't go off.

  
"HEY!" Peter called out to the figure and keeping his distance. There was no answer and he tried again, "Hey! Get the hell up!" No answer again. Crashing through his tiny window like that and crashing so hard on the ground, they probably really were injured. Peter didn't let go of his bat as he stepped closer. The only sound that could he heard was his uneven breathing and the light wirr of his laptop's fan. He decided to step around the body, towards his kitchen and flipped the light switch. The light flickered and the body on the floor illuminated.  
The college boy wasn't sure what he noticed first, the color scheme of the suited body, or the fact that it was missing and arm and midsection was severed almost completely in half, organs splayed out on the floor. The bat dropped from Peter's grip and clunked to the floor as he doubled over and gagged. He covered his mouth to keep everything in as he stumbled a few steps back. It wasn't like he hasn't seen a few bodies in his life, but it wasn't something he could ever get used to, especially with one this bad.

  
He struggled to open an eye to look at, what was obviously Deadpool's body, layed out on his floor. What happened to him? Did he find out his identity or was his crash just a complete accident? Wait. He was unconscious--dead? There was no way he crashed through the window on his own like this. Someone must have threw him in there. Was that person still around?  
Peter swallowed back his urge to puke and side-stepped around the bleeding body to peek out of the broken window. It was a chilly night, and nothing looked out of the ordinary that he could see. No one suspicious, and his Spider-sense was still non existent. He closed his blinds and shivered before looking back at the body, blood soaking into his carpet. What should he do? He knew that Deadpool had a healing factor far greater than his own; even in death he could come back to life. He really was dead wasn't he?

  
The boy stepped closer, the smell of blood once again making him gag and his heart raced hard enough that he could hear it in his ears. His eyes glanced around the body, noticing all the cuts and entrails that decorated the body. It was gruesome and sick and Peter couldn't help but wonder exactly what happened. He had never seen Deadpool this bad before. How long was it supposed to take for him to heal? Should he just...leave him there? He was missing an arm, would it just grow back, or would they have to find it and reattach it? He would be lying if he said he didn't have a little bit of morbid curiosity about the situation.  
He kept his distance, knowing that no matter what state Deadpool was in, he was still an insane mercenary. Maybe he should call Tony Stark. No, that would bring too much attention to where he lived, and he didn't need Deadpool waking up and finding out that he was connected to Tony in some way. Augh, he couldn't keep looking at the body like this. Peter quickly went to his room and grabbed an old blanket and tossed it over Deadpool's form. Out of sight, out of mind---too bad the smell was still around. He sat back on his couch, not taking his eyes off of the lump under the blanket.

  
When Deadpool wakes up, what will he be like? Will he be guns a-blazing? Will he try to slash at anything that is near? Will he go into a psychotic rage, thinking Peter was the one that did this to him? He stared at the form for what had to have been nearly an hour, thinking about things like this and what it would mean for his identity. From time to time his breathing would quicken after zoning out, as if just realizing there there was a DEAD body in front of him. It didn't matter that it would be alive soon, it was still DEAD.  
Deadpool didn't stir in the slightest. Maybe his regeneration wouldn't work this time? Maybe he was gone for good. The thought of that made Peter panic and his palms began to sweat. He'd be seen as a murder or something, and he'd never get the image of Deadpool's dead body out of his mind. "Hey," He tried again, hoping to get at least a moan out of the other from across the room. There was no answer, and he wasn't sure if he was actually expecting one.

  
The air felt stale and there was a ringing in his ears. A sudden memory flashed into his mind, seeing the dead body and it made him shift uncomfortably and clench his chest. He took in a few sharp breaths, feeling a drop of sweat slide from his temple to his cheek.Peter stood up thinking that maybe he would have a better chance of survival if he got his webshooters and kept them close just in case (also to calm himself down a bit). He got up from the couch and made his way to room, only to stop momentarily to look over his shoulder to make sure Deadpool hadn't stirred.

  
He found himself in his closet, rummaging in a box hidden on his top shelf, behind piles of unsorted clothes. He found his old beat up box that he placed coded lock on, just in case there was anyone curious enough to search through his stuff. He got the box open but shut it immediately as he suddenly got a whiff of the iron stench of blood, making him wretch before he covered his mouth and ran to the bathroom.

  
The brunette hovered over the toilet coughing and spitting, nothing but air coming from his stomach. This was awful. He couldn't do this. He had to get out of here. Deadpool would leave on his own eventually after he healed, he'd have no reason to stay in the apartment he was flung into; it would be less of a hiding spot than anything. Peter would just grab his jacket and go, it would be better if Deadpool didn't see his face anyway. He really should have contacted Tony earlier. He suddenly couldn't find a reason not to.  
Peter spat into the toilet one last time before flushing the toilet. He stepped into the the living room and froze immediately, on foot in front of the other. The lump that was under the blanket was no more. His Spider-sense tingled, realizing that he didn't have his webshooters, and before he could turn around he felt a hot body against his bad and the steel blade of a knife at his throat.

  
"You know, I really was enjoying the view of you bent over the toilet like that. Just gunna say, my anaconda _DO_!"

  
Peter wanted to roll his eyes but thought against it as the blade was placed closer to his throat. What should he do? Say? He'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous. He knew that Deadpool could fly off the handle for, what everyone thinks is, no apparent reason. So he didn't want to give him an actual reason to. All he could do was tense up and play dumb.

  
"Speechless baby boy? I know. You probably saw my hot body sprawled all over your floor and...your window, and kinda a little bit on your couch as well and thought to yourself 'DAMN. God _must_ be real to send me such a gorgeous angel!'. You probably didn't know what to do with yourself and just had to spill all the butterflies you had into the toilet. It's cool, I get it."  
Here, Peter really did roll his eyes. "What...uhm..." _Play dumb_. "What are you doing? Here, I mean--what happened? Shouldn't you be dead? You were dead!" Peter noticed that Deadpool wasn't holding him in place except with the knife. His other arm must not have grown back yet. He wasn't sure how a fight would go between him and Deadpool right now, but he didn't want to risk anything.

  
"Move." Deadpool shoved Peter forward with his stump of an arm and Peter shivered before stepping forward and being guided towards the broken window. Deadpool changed their positions and turned to stick his head out the window, seeing if the coast was clear. Peter had to move with him when he bent over, to make sure the blade didn't nick him in any way. Deadpool seemed to admire the amount of blood that came out of his body and onto the floor before stepping away from the window, and it was all Peter could do to not wretch again. " _Was_ , yeah." He finally responded to the younger man's question. "Look cutie, I'd love to stay and chat, maybe cop a feel you know, or like, I dunno, _totally_ have you all up on me, _buuuut_ I gotta jet!" He pressed his masked lips near peter's ear, whispering a little too seductively, " _Well~ Maybe I can settle for one of those things before I go~_ "

  
Just then, quicker than Peter could comprehend, the knife left his throat and his ass was squeezed. Peter didn't even think before he turned around to backhand the merc in the face, a natural reaction for whenever Deadpool pulled this kind of stunt when he was Spider-Man, but luckily met nothing but air. He quickly made his way over to the window and looked down to the street below with no sign of the mad man whatsoever. He clenched his fist on the windowsill and hissed as glass cut his palm, holding it tight. What the _fuck_ was all that about? Peter looked down at his bloodied palm, then his eyes trailed back to the mess semi-hidden by his blanket. Tomorrow he'd talk to Tony and the other Avengers. He didn't know what to make about all this, but if Deadpool ever got onto him about his secret identity, that would be bad for him and the people he cared about.

  
He'd teamed up with Deadpool before on a couple missions, and the merc didn't seem too worrisome--for the most part. But he's seen him have his moments, and when he had his moments, it was _bad_. The maniac wouldn't think twice about hurting him. To him, being pals means shooting each other in the leg. Peter Parker definitely didn't want to be his pal.


	2. Let's get the ball rolling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is a big baby and Wade contemplates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that Gwen died when Peter was in highschool, so this doesn't go 100% towards the canon. Its just for how I want the story to go (: This chapter is a little slow but it helps get the ball rolling--wherever that ball is tolling to haha, Enjoy!  
> Also thank you guys SO much for your comments and Kudos! You made me super excited to keep going with this story! You are all so lovely and sweet! (:  
> Sorry for anything weird like typos and such!
> 
> [White box]   
> (Yellow box)

_"What!?"_

Peter winced, standing in the lobby of Avenger's tower, fully suited in his Spider-man costume. Pepper looked at the young man in disbelief as Tony put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. She just shrugged it off,

" _Deadpool_ , Peter? Are you okay?? Did he--Tony I swear to _God_ if you touch me again." She didn't even spare a second glance at Tony, who, just raised his hands in surrender before taking a step back. He knew better than to interrupt Pepper when she was worrying over Peter. Honestly, she could be his mother. Hell, she may as well be, she cared enough about the boy in that regard. It was nice to have a mother figure in his life that he could talk to about his hero goings on. There was no way he could tell his aunt.

Peter wasn't actually an Avenger, he just helped them out from time to time. He became close friends with the whole crew--though he still couldn't figure out why he just couldn't get the invitation he was longing for--but even more so to Pepper. They knew about his past and how he didn't have anyone except his aunt and his current girlfriend, Gwen.

"It's fine Pepper, I promise--its just that..well, it was _weird_. I can't say I felt threatened exactly, he didn't really seem like he was looking for a fight or anything. It was just weird, out of all the apartments he could have crashed into, it was _mine_."

Pepper stared hard at Peter's bug eye'd mask. She looked stern, but she was just thinking very hard about the circumstance. "And you're sure that he doesn't know who you are?"

"Yeah. Iv'e seen as much as his chin when he eats, but he's never seen any of mine. I'm careful to make sure of that. I can't risk myself being blackmailed or Aunt May and Gwen being hurt."

"So he didn't see your face at all last night?"

Peter shook his head, " I don't think so. He stayed against my back the whole time. I could barely even look at him with the knife at my neck. He just up and left, probably to hide somewhere less obvious or go after the guy that killed him."

"I don't like this. That was way too close." She looked over at Tony, who seemed to be zoning out before rapidly blinking in a dramatic fashion.

"Oh, sorry. Do I have a say in this now?"

Pepper only responded with a stare that could melt ice.

Tony stared back, as if in competition before blinking, "Damn. You win again Pepper Pots." She let out an exasperated sigh before he stepped over to her side and rolled his eyes over to Peter. "Look, you know we don't have to tell you how dangerous this all is, you seem to know that pretty well seeing as you've had plenty of first hand experiences working with Wade. He's a maniac, insane. Smart in his skills but stupid everywhere else. Never has a familiar patternized way of doing things--"

"Yeah, yeah I know." Peter interrupted, "Like I told Pepper, I'm fine. I get that I'm younger than you and everything, but I'm not a child. I've been doing this gig since high school--"

"You were in high school last year."

"And I've grown a lot since then. I've seen a lot. I've been _through_ a lot." He snorted, ignoring Tony's comment. "Look, I just wanted to give you guys a heads up, just seeing if you guys seen or heard anything around. I couldn't see any trace of the guy that did that to Deadpool, but its obviously someone dangerous. Maybe they didn't know that he could regenerate? Maybe they thought they killed him and are out going after someone else now?"

"Someone like you?" Pepper responded

"Come on, really?"

"She's got a point, Peter."

Peter jolted before everyone's gaze turned to the couch. Steve sat there so quietly, just listening to the conversation, that Peter forgot he was even in the room. He sat there with his elbows on his knees, bent forward, and his hands clasped together (a gesture Peter was sure he acquired from Bruce). The captain cleared his throat, noticing that all stares were on him, eyes darting around almost like a confused puppy. "What I mean is," He cleared his throat again, "You're right too. You're young and, i wouldn't say inexperienced, but when it comes to Mr. Wilson there's a lot riding on any small slip up you can make."

"Oh, not you too Steve." Peter didn't always call Captain America by his first name, as he was still coming accustomed to being in his presence. He admired Steve more than anyone on the team, and respected his opinion a lot, so to hear Steve talk to him like some kind of kid that didn't know what he was doing kind of hurt a little. "I didn't come here to be baby'd and told who I can and can't hang around, as if I don't already know that myself. I just thought this info was something you guys would want to know about. If it worries you so much, then maybe I should just keep this kind of stuff to myself. Who cares that a crazed mercenary crashed into my apartment? Who cares that it was _Deadpool_. Who _cares_ that he might have known who i was and might soon kill the people I care about?"

The pout in Peter's voice was undeniable, and his arms were struggling not to cross against his chest. He really was trying not to snap though. He finally moved out, got his own place, makes his own money, pays his own, as well as some of his Aunt's bills, and has been saving people and leaping into dangerous situations on almost daily basis for the past two or so years. People of all ages looked up to him (excluding those that thought him a menace) and he's saved the city _itself_ on multiple occasions from threats not even the police could handle.Yet, after all of this, they, the Avengers, _Steve_ still saw him as some child that didn't know how to handle himself. It made him clench a fist and grind his teeth behind his mask.

"Wow." Tony responded, "Don't act like a baby, then maybe we wouldn't have to--"

Pepper backhanded Tony in the stomach, making him double over with a grunt. Not once did she take her eyes off the boy in front of her. It was quiet for a few moments, no one knowing the right words to say in a situation they knew nothing about. It was like they were all just sputtering nonsense to Peter, the first things that came to mind. He really didn't want to argue about this. He felt like he was getting scolded for something he didn't do.

"We get it Peter." Pepper finally spoke up and put her hands gently on his shoulder, "We get it, Peter. You're not a little kid, but we still worry. Hell, even _Tony_ worries about Steve when he doesn't report in after too long. Just because you aren't an Avenger, doesn't mean you're not part of our team, alright?" The two men shared a glance at one another that Tony just shrugged off with raised eyebrows.

He knew that Pepper was saying something heartwarming, but he couldn't help the selfish thought that he was hoping she actually was about to ask him to be part of the Avengers. His shoulders sagged as her soft smile helped him calm down almost immediately, "Yeah, I know."

"We just don't want to have to tell May that her nephew was chopped up into a million pieces by a mercenary in a sewer somewhere."

Peter stilled, "Uh..thanks?"

Pepper planted a kiss on the forehead of his mask and pat his cheek, "Just keep us updated on things okay? Tell us if you spot him hanging around close to you when you're out of costume. We can't take chances."

"Alright. Thanks, Pepper."  
_________________________________________________

  
Wade flopped onto his dingy, dirty, couch, not caring what kinds of bodily fluids, though dry by now, he got on it.

**[Home sweet home.]**

**(Could've been ' _Bone sweet Bone_ ' if we brought that cutie home with us.)**

**[Why didn't we just go to our apartment in the city?]**

**(Because daddy's too scared of the boogie man in his kid's closet.)**

  
"Bwuuuuhhhh" The black and red spandex clad man groaned as he rolled off of his couch and flopped onto the floor with a hard _THUMP_. He was so exhausted from the walk, not able to hijack a car like he'd hoped and had to make it to this place on foot. "What's the point of a healing factor if it can't heal me getting winded!"

**[That doesn't make sense, but I can see where you're coming from.]**

**(At least we got our arm back!)**

Wade weakly lifted his hand and wiggled his fingers, "Hahaha, right? Did you see how _far_ it flew though?? Pretty rad."

**(Four blocks at least!)**

**[So are we just going to ignore the fact that we failed a hit on that...thing? What was that?]**

"Well." Wade's hand flopped onto the floor as he looked up to his cracked, stained ceiling in thought, "At first it was a human. Little weak thing. Gross, sweaty, oily. Nerdy."

**(Totally not the cute kind of nerdy.)**

"Definitely not. Then all of a sudden he went into the ground! The fuck was that? How does that even make sense?"

**[The fact that you don't think something makes sense, means it's serious.]**

"I mean, he like, turned into a shadow or something! How the fuck am I supposed to fight a shadow?"

**(Oh! Oh!! I know, I know! With light!)**

**[A little too cliche. Even for a fanfic.]**

**(Yeah but it seems legit, right?)**

" _Too_ legit. I doubt that light will kill him. That helluh stupid. _OUR_ shadows don't die in light, so why would he?"

**(True.)**

**[I guess?]**

"Ah, what the fuck ever!" The man flailed his arms and legs like a child having a tantrum, "We'll try for him again later tonight!"

**(Someone's grumpy. He needs tacos. We haven't had any in over 24 hours! Blasphemy!)**

**[I'm surprised Spidey-boy wasn't around to help out. He likes to help and stuff, and it's not like we were quiet about it or anything.]**

**(He was probably busy doing some cool Avengers things.)**

**[He's not an Avenger.]**

**(Not yet!)**

Wade had always wanted to be an Avenger. Ever since he was a little Canadian boy he always admired Captain America, his favorite hero. It wasn't fair that Spidey had just become a somebody, and now he's best friends with all the Avenger dudes! He's been helluh good lately, doing hero things and stuff! Why wouldn't they let _him_ in? He would be the perfect ally and had the best power! He couldn't die!

**[Yes you can.]**

He couldn't die for _long_! That was a big advantage for the team! When they are all dead and gone, he could--well-- _AVENGE_ them and save the day! "Also I'm super strong, really fast, can teleport (which im sure the author forgot about until literally right now), not to mention I'm wicked at popping kneecaps in a non-lethal way!" But then when he thought about it, if they were all dead, then he wouldn't be able to get their recognition for saving the day, and that blows.

**(Hahaha, you say this, but you were taking a hit just last night!)**

"Hey. Being nice doesnt pay the bills, and I havent even killed him yet! So im still on my good-guy streak! Abstinent from killing for 3 months! Thats a fucking record. One that I'm actually not feeling proud of in the slightest. Makes life boring as hell."

**[Then why even bother? What's living life for all eternity if you can't have fun with it?]**

**(Duh! It's because of our _major_ disgusting crush on the webhead! He makes it hard to be bad sometimes _*sigh*_ )**

Wade's crush on the Spider-man was weird. It also wasn't unknown to whoever cared to know. Of course, being Deadpool, it gets taken in stride since no one takes anything he does or says seriously. Sure Spidey seems to get kinda wincy, or shoves him, yells at him,punches him, or kicks him when Wade gropes him, but besides that, he seems okay with it.

**[PFFT.]**

Honestly, he wasn't sure that he was serious about it now that he thought about it. Sometimes he thought that having a dumb schoolgirl crush was just something to do in his spare time. He looked up to Spidey just as much as the other Avengers (except for the Cap. of course), and he couldn't help his moments of hero worship. It was hard not to get excited after getting a _"Good Job, Deadpool."_ that wasn't totally sarcastic from the scrawny hero himself.

Wade kept his gaze on the ceiling, vision stroking along the cracks that ran to the walls. A little nap would do him good. Then he's go grab something to eat and think of an awesome plan on how to kill this stupid shadow master. For a greasy little nerd, he was strong as hell. The mercinary didn't even see the strike that killed him coming. It would be easier to get the Spider-babe to help, but there's no way he'd let him kill the guy. No kill, no money, no happy Wade. Besides, he didn't feel like getting a "killing is bad" lecture again. Ah well, He'll just improvise, it's another thing that he was totally good at.


	3. It's in the Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deadpool and Spider-man accidentally team up against an enemy that leaves them in the shadows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more than twice the size of my previous chapters! I hope you enjoy it!  
> Just mind the tags that this IS a slow build story!   
> A lot of hard work went into this one, so a nice comment or kudos would definitely be appreciated! :D <333  
> This chapter is just setting up for pushing the story in the right direction! (:

Spider-man swung through the city on his nightly patrol, keeping his eye on the city below. There were many people about tonight, meaning lots of targets for potential crooks. He made sure to swing close to the most prominent dark alleyways known to have past criminals hiding about the shadows. Some of them were hotspots, criminals always seeming to go into the same paths most of them do.  
Tonight seemed fairly quiet, which was nice since he didn't want to be staying out too late tonight. He had an important test at school tomorrow, not to mention his date with Gwen. He'd been too preoccupied the last few days to do much but text her, and he owed her big time for her helping him study for his last test. He promised to treat her for that.

  
A loud, sharp, high-pitched scream pierced his ears and his thoughts, startling him enough to almost slip off the edge of the roof. So much for a quiet night. He spent no time recovering as he shot his web and swung off into the direction of the sound.

  
"Help! Someone help me please!!"

  
The voice came from one of the hotspots, an alley way on one of the more dingey, but quiet streets. Despite how it looked, he hardly had to visit here often, so it was a little harder for him to pinpoint exactly where the sound was coming from. He pulled hard on his web, taking a sharp right around the corner of an old red-bricked building before jumping onto the sidewalk with a slight skid.

  
"Anyone! Please help!"

  
Spider-man pressed his back against the building, not knowing what to expect and she quietly sidestepped and looked around the corner. The alley was completely dark, he couldn't see past a large dumpster blocking his vision about ten feet in front. He crouched down and stealthily made his way over to the dumpster and pressed his back against it as he did the wall. He clenched his fists, ready for any attack that might spring his way, but he didn't hear any sounds of a struggle. Maybe the lady was just badly injured.

  
"Please don't hurt me!!"

  
With that, the spider didn't ponder any more about the situation and sprung up to his feet, jumping atop the dumpster's lid. He stood tall and aimed his shooters down the long alley, "Alright, let the lady g--" Peter froze in his stance, arms held out in front of him. His eyes behind his mask were wide in disbelief as he stared at the woman in front of him. "Are you--" The red and blue hero's hands clenched into fists and and exasperated sigh left him.

  
"Spider-man! You came for lil' ol' me??" The shadowed woman ran towards him, arms open, and messy blonde hair waving all around.

Peter quickly shot a web above, attaching it to a pole that ran across the two buildings on either side of him and quickly swung forward towards the excited woman.  
"I'm so glad you're here! My hero Spider-ma--GAUGH!!"

  
A hard swift kick to the center of her face from the hero sent her hair flying into a wet puddle, her oversized body twisted on the ground, and and angry spider looming over her.

  
"Are you _serious_ Deadpool?? _Really_!?"

  
Deadpool sat up and cracked his neck. He put a hand over his nose, which he could swear was broken at the moment, "Hey buddy! Good to see ya! You usually swing around these parts? What are the odds that we'd both be here tonight, huh? What a small world! How long have we known each other? Feels like forever right? You can call me Wade, don't be shy! We're closer than that!"

  
"First of all, we _aren't_ 'buds'. Second, do you know how much of my time you just wasted? I could have helped someone who really needed it! But here I am with you, wasting my time!"

  
Deadpool pouted so dramatically, Peter was sure that he could see his bottom lip stressing to poke out of his mask, "Whaaaaaat, but I do need it Spidey! That's why I called you! You like helping people, and aren't friends supposed to help each other?" Deadpool pat the dirt off his butt as he stood up.

  
"Us." Spider-man pointed from him to the mercenary, "Not friends." He lifted his arm to shoot a web.

  
"Really? You're just gunna leave me here?"

  
"Yes." He didn't even need to think about it. It actually made him a little nervous to be here after what happened last night. Even though Deadpool didn't say anything about the incident, it didn't put his mind at ease that he might know something about his identity. It made him really anxious to leave. He shot his web and was only able to lift a couple inches off the ground before Deadpool wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him back to the ground, "Deadpool what the hell? Let go!" He kicked the back of his foot into Wade's thigh.  
"Okay look, maybe we got off on the wrong foot in the face. But you didn't even let me get to explain!"

  
"You don't get to explain." He shot a web under his arm behind him and into the mercenary's face. Wade didn't release his grip around his waist and instead just rubbed his face roughly against Spider-man's back, trying to get the web off of him. "Augh, _stop_!!"

  
"No, wait really, just hear me out okay? I'll make this nice and quick okay? If you don't let me talk, you know I'll just follow you around all night anyway! So you might as well just make this easy for yourself. I don't mind a fun game of hide-and-go-seek while tailing your hot ass, but you're really letting me down here! You're my _hero_. My _hero_ is letting me down! My hero _Spider-man_ isn't going to help me even though I'm _begging_ him to! What kind of hero are you?"

  
Wade let out an obviously fake sob, but he really knew how to make Peter feel guilty. The masked brunette sighed and his shoulders slumped, "Augh, okay fine. Just let me go and I'll listen to what you have to say. But don't think this will work every time."

  
Deadpool wooped and let go of the smaller man, raising his fists in the air. He ripped the rest of the webbing off his face. Spider-man turned to him with a defeated expression behind his mask but stood up straight and crossed his arms, waiting for Wade to finally explain himself.

  
"Okay, okay listen! This is kinda weird and hard to explain, but there's this little nerd running around. Like, typical nerd. Can't spot him in the middle of a crowd, never invite him to parties, greasy curly hair, has a nasily little voice, kinda walks with a hunch, looks like he likes--"  
"Get on with it, Deadpool."

  
"Okay, so, he looks like he's super not harmful, but he's got these like...i dunno, shadow powers?"

  
"... _Shadow_ powers."

  
"Can you sound any less incredulous? You fight animal people on a daily basis, and this is what you don't believe? Look, he like, can control shadows or something and can turn into one! Its like a 2-D drawing that can _hurt_ you! Like, just last night he threw me through some guys window! DEAD! He _killed_ me! I got murdered by a shadow! You know how bad that looked? He saw _inside_ me and he didn't even get a chance to take me out to dinner first! This guy is giving me a bad reputation and needs to be put to justice!"

  
Peter stilled at the mention of Deadpool's death last night. He had the feeling of needing to flee, feeling that in any moment Wade would make some kind of absurd connection between him and the guy in the apartment. It made his heart beat quickly and he suddenly felt like he was burning up inside his suit.

  
"Yo, Spidey? You hear what I said?" Deadpool waved a hand in front of Spider-man's face and he snapped out of his small stupor, "Oh, I see whats going on here, with you and the guy in the apartment."

  
Peter had to steel himself to the ground, and swallowed, "Uh..what...do you mean?" He felt like he shouldn't have asked. He should just excuse himself and swing out of here.

  
"Yeah! I totally see it!"

  
Peter froze as Deadpool draped a heavy arm over his shoulder. "You're totally jealous!" He laughed and Peter sucked in a sharp breath of air. "Don't worry Baby Boy~ You are the only one in my heart. I wont replace you with some normie, no matter how tight his ass was!"

  
Peter's heart was still beating quickly, he couldn't believe that he just dodged a major bullet. He was glad that Wade hadn't figured it out, but it really pissed him off that he was freaking out for no apparent reason. The hero shoved the man that invaded his personal space roughly, "Argh! Deadpo--"

  
His spider-sense went of a second too late before pain exploded in his side and he was flying through the air and crashing into a pile of trash. "...augh...did anyone get the license plate number of that truck...?" He rubbed the back of his head and looked up to see a figure standing at the entrance of the alleyway.

  
"Oh! Oh!! It's him! See? He looks _exactly_ how I said he did! It's weird how strong he is, right??" Wade pulled out his katanas and crossed them in front of himself, "No one gets away with hitting my numero uno friend except me! Ready for round two, _nerd_?"

  
The scrawny man looked between his scraggly bangs and the two suited men, focusing his attention on Wade with a scowl on his face, "So, you didn't die. Impressive." A smirk grew on his face and his posture straightened out. There was a blinking streetlight behind him, back-lighting his figure in darkness.

  
"No, no, I did. Not as smart as you look!" Deadpool rushed forward, swinging his katanas in front of him. "But you're gunna look dead in a sec--!" His foot was pulled and swept from underneath him, sending him face first into the gravel. "Spidey what the hell?!"

  
"No killing, Deadpool!"

  
"But he killed _me_! It's a fair trade!"

  
Spider-man walked up beside him and webbed his katanas to the wall, "No."

  
Wade groaned and stood up, " _Fine_ ," He pulled a gun from his holster, "I call his kneecaps then."

  
The man watched the banter between the two, almost as interested like a lame highschooler that was finally in a conversation with the cool kids. Almost. Just to realize that they couldn't give a fuck about the little guy they would rather talk _at_ than talk  _to_. " **ENOUGH!!** " he roared and the two men in front of him startled. "I'm sick of guys like you **ignoring** me!!"

  
"Hey, man. Look, we don't want any trouble. Why are you even here? No need for violence, lets just, you know, talk this out?" Spider-man lifted his hands to show that he wasn't looking for a fight. This guy really did look "not harmful" as Deadpool put it. But stereotypically speaking, they tended to be the most dangerous, filled with the most hatred for whatever reason.

  
"We don't compromise with the enemy!" Wade blurted out and pulled out his guns.

  
The two men were watching the man, unmoving near the ally's entrance. The light behind him blinked and Peter could have sworn that the other man's form flickered along with it. "What?"

  
The light went out momentarily before blinking back on and the man was gone.

  
"Auuuggghh fuck Spidey! Why'd you have to be all righteous and fair and try to give him a chance?? I already told you this guy was no good!"

  
"Shh!! Wait." Peter looked behind him to the darker parts of the ally. "My spider-sense is going crazy but," His vision crawled up the walls, "it feels like it's everywhere."

  
It was quiet around them and they kept in a crouched stance with their guards up. The quiet was unsettling, but Peter knew that they weren't in the clear yet. What was this guy? He really was a...shadow guy like Wade said.

  
"Maybe we should stand more in the light. Shadows don't like light right?" Wade took a few steps forward, letting the streetlamp's light wash over his frame.

  
_"Don't you know? We grow in the light."_

  
As the voice came, Spider-man automatically jumped up and stuck himself to the wall, and with a quick flick of his wrist, he shot a web at Wade's lower back and flung him onto the dumpster's lid. He landed on his back with a loud crunch and a loud grunt. Wade's shadow didn't follow him.

  
Peter looked down in shock as the shadow's head seemed to warp two glowing eyes and a wide grin. it cackled before sliding up the wall towards peter, making the spider jump to the opposite wall, "What the hell?" The shadows didn't move and he lost the target. That is, until the shadow next to him turned into a giant fly swatter and slammed against his own shadow, in-turn slamming Peter into the hard ground with an agonizing crunch.

  
Gunshots could be heard and Spider-man lifted his head from the gravel with blurry vision to see Wade atop the dumpster shooting ballistically in all directions. At one point the shadow stopped its movements and just laughed as bullets continued to pelt him. Peter groaned, his back in pain from the hit, and his torso from the fall.

  
"Come on you piece of shit shadow! DIE DIE DIE DIE!"

  
"Deadpool!" Spider-man shouted as he stood up on shaky legs. He wasn't sure if it was the adrenaline or the surprise from what just happened that got to him.

  
"Don't worry baby boy! It's not a person so it's okay to kill it!"

  
"You're just wasting your bullets! It's not _working_!"

  
"Yeah, but you got any other bright ideas smart guy?"

  
With that the shadow turned into the shape of a large spider and crawled it's way up the dumpster before whipping out a clawed hand that grabbed onto Wade's ankle's shadow. Once again, for the second time that night, Wade's foot was pulled out from under him and he was thrown out of the alley. The mercenary's body tumbled and skid across pavement, his back hitting against the pole on the opposite side of the street, which made the metal bend and bow over.

  
"Deadpool!" Peter wanted to run forward, but the shadow was in his path, sprawled out on the floor. "What do you want dude??"

  
_"Want? Isn't it obvious? I just want to have a little fun, that's all~"_

  
The figure began to grow, this time out of the ground, which made Peter back up a couple of steps. The shadow began to morph and take on a human shape, but it wasn't like the man they saw before. He wasn't the short and scraggly nerd that they had met earlier, it was the same height as Peter, and small details started to form on its body.

  
" _Damn, you are ripped!_ " The figure admired it's hand and clenched it a few times, as if it was getting the feel of it's new, shadowy body.   
Peter couldn't believe what he was seeing! Standing in front of him was like a dark copy of himself! It wasn't convincing enough for people to actually mistake the two of them, but what was the deal with the other guy. He looked so normal and so... _real_.

  
The shadow looked over his shoulder at the sound of the mercenary getting up and getting his wits about himself before he grinned and looked back over to the man's form he copied. He stepped forward, side-stepping a punch that Spider-man threw at him and melted into the wall beside him. " _Well, this will be fun~_ "

  
"Spidey! Where is he??" Wade ran back into the alleyway, guns at the ready.

  
" _Well boys, I really did enjoy myself tonight. It's nice to have a challenge once in a while. Maybe we can hang out, you know, have a puppet show or something. But for now, I bid you adieu~_ "

  
The disembodied voice was all around them. They weren't sure which way it went.

  
"Oh, and I ditched the meat suit. His near that pile of shit over there if you want him. He was starting to smell funny. Au revoir 'Spidey'~"  
A rustling came from a pile of garbage down the farther part of the alley and Spider-man quickly shot out his webs at the sound, trapping the body to the pile. He and Wade made their way over and Wade instantly ripped the webbing off the man and crabbed him by the collar, shaking him violently. "You have a _deathwish_  you fucking turd? You're lucky your friendly neighborhood Spider is here because I want to just rip the greasy skin off of your god damn ugly mug!"

  
He pressed his gun's barrel to the man's temple and he shrieked in fear. "P-PLEASE NO! HELP!!" The nerdy man was shaking in Wade's grip, broken glasses falling off his face and onto the ground.

  
"Deadpool, stop." He put his hand on Wade's wrist, pushing the gun away from the man's head. "I don't think...I don't think he's the one we're after."

  
Deadpool roughly slammed the guy's back against the wall, the back of his head hitting the bricks as he let out a strangled cry, "Like SHIT he's not! Spidey are you fucking crazy? You were there the whole time! You saw what this little shit did!"

  
"Yeah, but no! Look, just--Stop handling him so rough! He's not the one, okay?" He looked to the man pinned to the wall and crossed his arms, "You mind telling us what that was all about? I'm not the one holding you with his last nerve on edge, like my friend here" he jabbed a thumb at Deadpool, "So honestly, I don't know if I can hold him back from doing something we'd _all_ regret."  
"Yeah! I heard it too! He totally said it!"

  
Spider-man ignored Deadpool's sudden blurt of glee. He was used to the man talking to himself, " _Well_?"

  
"O-o-oka-kay!! L-look! I really--I really didn't mean to! S-Sometimes I get really mad and upset yeah okay, but that wasn't ME! I mean it was--BUT--"

  
"You know, I think I really will just blow your brains out." Deadpool once again put the gun against the man's temple and Spider-man didn't try to stop him this time. He knew it was just a bluff--he hoped, anyway.

  
The man shrieked, "N-NO NO NO! Okay listen! That shadow thing came to ME! It said that it could help me! I was in a really bad place you know? No friends, no girlfriend, felt like my life didn't matter, not to mention I get harassed and beat up on a constant daily basis. B-But he said that he could help me stand up for myself and get back and those bullies! I wanted to get revenge so bad you know?"

  
"Okaaaay? But why us?" Spider-man paused, "Why did you attack _us_? We didn't do anything to you."

  
"Not _you_." The man hesitantly looked at Wade.

  
"Hey! You were the one being all fucking weird ok? First you bump into me and don't even say you're sorry! Do you know what you did?? I had the perfect taco, PERFECT. It fell on the ground and you didn't even offer to buy me another one! It took me for fucking ever to reach the front of the line!"

  
"Y-yeah--uhm I really am sorry about that, but listen! You started making really threatening gestures and--I dunno, I just lost it! It wasn't all me though! That--that thing was really messing with me! I felt like I couldn't control my own body, let alone my mind!"  
"You killed me over that!"

  
"Y-you seemed like you were going to kill me...over a taco--EEK!"

  
Deadpool shook him hard, "DON'T TALK LIKE IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL!"

  
"Okay okay okay!! I'm sorry I'm sorry!!!!"

Spider-man sighed, "Alright! I get it. Okay. So this shadow thing..."

  
"I don't know what it is or where it came from. I just know that it can control you in ways you don't want it to. Kinda like making a deal with the devil. This is the first time it's left me in weeks! It was great at first, standing up for myself and beating up those punks. But honestly, I'm so glad its gone now. Okay I told you everything I know! Can I please go home now! I think I pissed myself."  
"Eugh. Right. Let him go Deadpool."

  
Wade growled and threw the man not so gently to the ground, "Get out of here pissant! If I ever see your fucking nerdy ass face again I will punch it in with the butt of my gun!"

  
The scrawny man wasted no time in dashing off out of the alley and around the corner, squealing in fright until his voice became a faint echo.

  
It was quiet as the two man stood there. But of course, Wade was already ready to break the silence, " _Sooooo_ \--"

  
"No, we aren't friends."

  
" _Wow_ I wasn't even gunna ask that---okaymaybeIwas. _Aaaaanyway_ , any ideas on how we should handle this thing? Obviously bullets don't work so hahaha I'm kinda useless on this one. I told you it was something I needed help with! I tried by myself for a while tonight, tracking him down and stuff, but nothing I did worked and he just kept running off and it became this repetitive thing that I just did not want to deal with, so I called you! Oh! We need like, a study group! That's what you do in school right? Me, you, the Avengers! Yeah yeah! It'll be great! We can plot out all this hero stuff and figure out how to save the day! You guys usually do that right??"

  
Deadpool talked so much, Peter was surprised he didn't talk himself into a coma. He wasn't sure if Deadpool was oblivious to how much literally none of the heroes liked him, or just chose to ignore it. Nothing was easy to figure out with Wade. "Uh....maybe. Actually, I'll just talk to them tomorrow about it and see whats up."

  
"Hey no, take me with you! I promise I wont stab, shoot, or maim anything or anyone. Just let me go into the Avenger's tower once! Please!!"  
"No. And I know that you don't need me explaining why. Just keep your sights out for anything weird for the next few days. We don't wanna jump the gun and suspect an innocent person. I'll keep my eye out around town tomorrow too, so if we happen to run into each other tomorrow night we can report anything that seems out of wack, okay?"

  
"Roger that, el capitan!" Deadpool saluted, "I will be your million little spider eyes and ears!"

  
Peter turned around, looking up as he shot a web and took hold, "Right. Well, I'll see you around then."  
"Oh wait! Spidey!"

  
Spider-man gave an exasperated sigh, " _What_ , Deadpool?"

  
"I just wanna say that you were super cool tonight!" He have the webhead two thumbs up, "And thanks for helping me out! Though I know you didn't really have a choice anyway let's just say you had a choice to help a buff damsel in distress. You're my hero!" He hopped over and planted a masked kiss on Peter's own masked cheek.

  
He quickly rubbed at his cheek, " Eugh, yeah. I have to admit that you did a good job tonight Deadpool. I'm surprised that you were on to something legit like that. Anyway, I gotta go. Later."

  
Deadpool waved frantically as he watched Spider-man take off into the night, "Good bye friend!!" He called out, "Can't wait to hang out again!" Spider-man said that he did a good job! He wasn't even _trying_ to impress him this time!

  
While Peter swung through the cool night, he couldn't help but shake his head. He'd been nervous for a moment, running into Deadpool, but he was glad that the man didn't find out about his identity, let alone go on some kind of killing spree. All in all, tonight went okay, despite the fact that there was a killer shadow around the town. Whenever Peter ran into Deadpool, he never felt as threatened as he knew he should, always being on guard. But he knew that Wade wasn't a safe character. He just wasn't as worried being around him, in costume anyway, as the others thought he should be. He knew that this was something he had to tell the others at the tower about, and Pepper wasn't going to like this.


	4. NOW I see what the title means

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter! (: I hope you enjoy it!  
> This one took a few days to work out!  
> I don't have a beta so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes!  
> Comment or Kudos mean the world to me! I read and respond to every one! :D They help me continue this story :)

"Peter, are you alright?"

  
"mm.."

  
" _PETER_!" Gwen slammed on the table's surface and Peter blinked up startled

  
"Oh-what? Sorry!"

 

"Have you heard anything I said? You weren't listening at all, were you?"

  
"No, I was! I think that--yes. Yes, I agree with what you just said."

  
Gwen made an unamused face, scrunching up her face and crossed her arms, "You agree that I'm gaining weight?"

  
".....uh,"

  
" _Watch i_ t." She giggled and threw a piece of lettuce at his face from.

  
Peter let the piece hit him in the nose and laughed lightly, "Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to zone out."

  
Gwen's eyebrows knitted in worry and reached out to place a gentle hand over his on the white tablecloth. Peter seemed fine after they had talked this morning. Peter had felt like passed his test, though he said his mind was wondering a bit, so it worried him. But other then that, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, or at least from what she can tell. He was out on a date with his totally cute girlfriend, outside of a quiet cafe that they both liked, and the day was beautiful with barely any clouds in the sky. Even with all of this, she still felt the need to ask, "Are you alright? You seem a little...off."

  
Peter turned his hand and held Gwen's hand back, "Yeah, sorry. It's just--" he looked over his shoulder and leaned in before continuing, "Okay, last night, I ran into Deadpool. And he was asking for my help and I was going to blow him off but he just seemed really desperate, so I decided to hear him out. He was having a problem witch some guy, and he stumbled upon us, but it turned out the guy was just a puppet for..." He paused,

  
" _Foooor_?"

  
Peter gave a shrug of his shoulders, unsure how it would sound when the words came out, "....a shadow?"

  
".....A shadow."

  
" _Right_?? It's _weird_! But it's totally true!" Peter let go of Gwen's hand so he could make gestures to better prove his point, "The guy was standing there, then he disappeared, then his shadow started attacking us! Wait--just hear me out Gwen. It attacked us, then it came out of the ground and _turned into me_!"

  
Peter's hands were up in the air as he stared at Gwen who had big disbelieving eyes, waiting for her response.  
Gwen reached over to her glass of water and took a sip before gently placing it back down on the table. "Peter, honey. You just said you got your ass whooped by a shadow."

  
"I fight animal people on a daily basis, and _this_ is what you don't believe?"

  
"It just _really_ doesn't make any sense! And what do you mean he turned into you?" She paused and leaned over, "Oh my god. No wonder you're acting so weird. _You're_ the shadow aren't you?"

  
Peter rolled his eyes, "Come on, Gwen, at least try to be serious please?"

  
She couldn't help but snort out a laugh as she took another sip of her water, "Okay okay, I'm sorry. I'm listening, go ahead."  
He sighed, "I dunno, It just creeped me out, taking my form and all. He just smiled like he enjoyed it and vanished. It gave me a really bad feeling Gwen."

  
"So...you sure it wasn't just _your_ shadow Peter? I mean, this all just sounds a little crazy...I mean, if what you're saying is true, does that really mean there's another _you_ running around?"

  
"I...don't really know. I mean, it's not like you can confuse us, he's all shadowy and stuff, but the guy Deadpool was after at first said that it controlled his body and mind at times? So I'm not really sure what we are in for with it."  
"Well, what does Deadpool think?"

  
"Who cares what he thinks? The only thing on his mind is explosions and tacos."

  
Gwen gave a short giggle. She never saw Deadpool, but she she knows of him from past news reports and descriptions from Peter when trying to explain that it wasn't HIM doing those bad deeds. It was a little funny how annoyed Peter got just when someone mentioned Deadpool's name and how dramatic Peter would explain the other man's foolishness.

  
"Also!" Peter once again raised his hands in the air, "He pretended to be a woman calling for help just to get my attention! He was even wearing a wig!"

  
Gwen couldn't help but slap her hand on the table with a laugh at how furious Peter was getting over something so silly. Her boyfriend just gave her a hard stare before sighing, "Oh come on Peter, it's funny! Besides, how else was he supposed to get your attention? From what you tell me, you try to avoid him at all costs."

  
"So, what? You're on his side now?"

  
She rolled her eyes, "Look, you baby, I'm just saying, it's not that big a deal, lighten up! Besides, if you didn't go there you wouldn't have known about that shadow thing right? You said he's your biggest fan right?"

  
"No, _he_ said that."

  
"Well, okay. But it seems like he did good to call you, it's not like the Avengers would have given him the time of day."

 

Peter flicked at his good, "Yeah, but like, he really likes to stick around and be nosy, thinking we're best buds. I'm scared one day he's gunna follow me home, find out who I am, and try to hurt you or aunt May. I mean it was too close for comfort when he came crashing in me apartment the other night, which by the way was because of the shadow guy."

  
"Yeah, I can see that." She patted his hand, "But don't worry, I'm a big girl, I can handle myself." She smiled teasingly. Gwen always had a certain independence about her that just attracted Peter to her. He knew she could handle herself in various ways, but when large guys with inhuman abilities threatened her safety, he couldn't help but worry.

  
She reached over and slapped his arm gently before standing to her feet, "Come on, the movie is gunna start soon. We can worry about spooky shadows when we're not on a date, okay?" she walked over to his side and rubbed his arm with a smile and he couldn't help but smile back,

  
"Heh, yeah, alright." A movie would help him unwind a bit. He stood up and looked over his shoulder and down to his shadow. He couldn't help but have a weird feeling that he'd been watched by setting all day. Well, being paranoid wasn't going to help him in anyway, and it was obvious that Gwen knew that too. He was lucky to have a girl like her in his life, she always tended to keep him grounded and see a different side to things that he himself couldn't see. Sometimes it would irritate him that she wouldn't just agree with most of the things he said, but then again, it's what he loved about her.  
Peter held his arm out for her and she smiled sweetly, wrapping her hands around it with a little skip in her step as they made their way to the theater.

 

 

* * *

 

  
It had been about a week and a half since the incident and Peter had become more relaxed, though he did catch himself looking over his shoulder during certain times of the day, and during nights he would occasionally slip by the alleyway he and Wade had been ambushed at . Nothing actually happened at _all_. He hadn't even seen Wade at all. Maybe that just means that the merc didn't have anything to report either. He was sure that the other man wasn't having trouble with that shadow, if he were, Peter was sure he would have caught wind of it by _now_.

  
"Hey honey~!"

  
.... _speak of the devil_.

  
Spider-man stood up from the ledge of the building that overlooked a busy city street. He turned to look towards the voice that couldn't be mistaken for any other man's. He felt a sudden weight on him as Deadpool giddily wrapped his arms around his neck with an obvious grin behind his mask.

  
"It's been forever since I saw you! You haven't called to check on the kids! I thought maybe you were out with a mistress but then I thought, _naaaawww_ , you're too loyal for that!

  
"Augh, get _off_ , Deadpool!"

  
"Easier said than done when you're around~" Wade gave his hero's ass a quick squeeze before he was immediately punched across the jaw with a swift right hook.

  
"God! What is your _deal_??" He knew it was useless to get mad at the merc with a mouth's sexual harassment, it was just his was of "pal-ing around" or whatever. Peter was sure it wasn't anything serious but, it still made him _highly_ uncomfortable. He took a moment to breathe and calm his frustrations before continuing, "So, you got something?"

  
"Ooh, ouch. Here I thought you only liked me for my body, but you only want my _stuff_."

  
Peter crossed his arms and tapped his foot, making an annoyed face behind his mask that he was sure Wade could make out from his body language alone.

  
Deadpool raised his hands in surrender , "Hahahha right, right. All business no pleasure. But if you ever decide you change your mind," he positioned his fingers in a 'hang loose' gesture and wiggled his hand near his ear, whispering " _Call me_ "  
He saw Spider-man about to jump from the rooftop, "OKAYOKAYWAIT! Jeeze, no sense of humor. No _wonder_ the Avengers don't let you in."

  
Spider-man looked over his shoulder, giving Wade a hard stare.

  
"Hey, it ain't no thang! They won't let me in either! Like, what the hell, right?"

  
"Deadpool, why are you here? Do you have information on the shadow or not?"

  
"Right! Okay, so like, have you felt a little like... _funny_ lately? Just wanna make sure that it wasn't just me."  
Peter paused for a moment, "Funny _how_?"

  
"Well, you know, like you were being followed or something? I felt helluh antsy sometimes. Had me whipping out my gun at odd hours but there was nothing there. I lost a lot of wet dream time, and I don't like missing out on that. So of course I was pissed, grumpy like you wouldn't _believe_! I mean I haven't seen you in over a week! And now I can't even dream of your sweet ass cause I'm paranoid like some crazy person? Even the voices were getting irritated!"

  
"...okay, ew? And yeah, I have been feeling a little off lately. I felt the need to keep looking over my shoulder but, there was never anyone or any _thing_ around. I was thinking that I was just over thinking things, but if you've been feeling that way too....But it wasn't my Spidey sense that was going off, I didn't feel threatened. So it was really weird."

  
Wade looked to his feet, lifting on up to examine his shadow, "You think it's spying on us?"

  
"That's my only guess but he's not _doing_ anything."

  
"You know, if he's followin you around....does that mean he knows your secret identity and shit??"

  
Peter hadn't thought of that. Well, it crossed his mind momentarily, but the situation was so weird that he couldn't keep that strain of thought for too long. "...I'm not sure, actually. I mean, it's possible, but he hasn't done anything with that information if he did find out."

  
"Yeah, like, if he were me, I would have sold it in a heartbeat. But it's been over a week _sooo_..."  
Peter visibly tensed at that and Wade quickly corrected himself, "Not that I would! You're my hero Spidey! Why'd I sell you out? I mean, it's not like anyone would be able to afford the amount I'd sell you out for anyway! So don't even worry about it!"

  
That didn't make Peter feel at ease in the slightest. He always took Deadpool's words with a grain of salt. It was true that Deadpool was great at getting jobs done, but he had a way to go about things that Peter just didn't trust. The madman's mind was the most unpredictable thing Peter had ever come across. One minute Deadpool was stable and calm, the next, he's out on a killing spree because his favorite Mexican restaurant ran out of their special sauce. There's also times when he's out to save someone, _and he does_ , but the victim would end up having no arm or a broken back in the end. Basically in worse shape than before the rescue, and honestly, most those people probably would have rather just stayed being hostages for the rest of their lives.

  
Wade noticed the spider shift almost uncomfortably on his feet and his head tilted to the side slightly, looking over his shoulder for an escape route as he spoke, "Alright, well if that's all, it's getting late. Now that I know it's not just me feeling this weird vibe lately, I'll keep an eye out. We should set up some parameters for each of us to keep an eye on for the next few days, unless you're too busy with killing jobs."

  
"Nope! Just this one! I'm all yours Baby boy--OH! OH! Does this mean we're going to actually be patrolling _together_??" The older man let out a higher squeal than middle school girls at a Justin Beiber concert--which actually described Wade perfectly on most days they encountered each other.

  
"No, Deadpool. We'll just be patrolling at the _same time_. Alright, so listen--"

  
"Come on Spidey, Don't you think we'd be on a first name basis by now? Or at least me! Even _Stark_ calls me Wade! 'Deadpool' just sounds so distant between friends, you know?" Deadpool waved his hands around as if it helped him demonstrate his point.

  
Spider-man's response to such a statement had been practiced between the two almost after every encounter, so instead he decided just not to pay it any mind, which Wade seemed to either not notice or didn't mind. "...What?"

  
Peter noticed Deadpool's head gently swiveling about like he was a little distracted, making Peter look around too, on high alert, "You see something?"

  
"I guess."

  
"You _guess_?"

  
There was silence between the two, and it was then that Peter noticed Deadpool wasn't talking to him, and his head was swiveling because he was listening to the voices---what did he call them? White and Yellow?  
"You think he'll really go for that though?"

  
Even though Peter had seen Deadpool do this many, many times, it nevertheless made him feel uneasy. At first, he thought the man was doing it just to freak him out, or to keep up his reputation as being super weird. But then Peter realized that the mercenary really did have a few screws loose, and it was hard to interrupt him when he was in the zone of talking to himself. Peter kind of wondered if he even should try to get Deadpool's attention when he was like this. He wondered if it would be like interrupting someone who was sleepwalking and then go into hysterics when you try to wake them up.

  
"Hey Spidey, I got a question."

  
Spider-man was jumped out of his thoughts, not realizing that his gaze wandered down to Deadpool's feet as if giving the man and the voices their privacy. He looked back up to Wade, who surprisingly kept his distance since he pushed the older man away.

  
"Now, you can say no or whatever, cause I kind of expect it, but there's this new place that just opened up that sells giantass burritos. Like, these things are fuckin' HUGE Spidey! And I was like, hey, I could probably eat like, a ton of these by myself, but what if I get one and it's not all that great? Then I'd spent all this money on this bigass thing that's just going to waste and then i got me thinkin ya know? Like, Hey! I know who would like to share one with me! The only hero that is even open at this time of night! The best one! Someone who can put away almost as much food as me and keep his rockin' figure! So I was waiting for you to show up! I know that you like to sit on the rooftops around here so I figured that you'd end up on this one sooner or later.

  
"Like, its cool, we don't even have to go inside the place! They totally deliver! So we can have them drop it off somewhere and we can hang back and chill for a bit, you know? Do our nails, talk about boys, that's what people do together right? Or hey, we can even talk about the areas each of us should patrol for the next few nights! Discussing work while eating makes things a lot less boring you know? I'll even pay for everything! I'm guessing that you don't keep your wallet on you or anything, since the whole no pockets thing, I even brought enough for drinks! Have you ever had Sengria Senorial? Its good as _fuck_! I'll get you one of those too!"

  
Peter stood there listening to Deadpool drole on and excitedly bounce on his heels. It was times like these that he remembered why he was called the 'Merc with a Mouth'. Peter couldn't help but let out a little snort and cross his arms at Deadpool's amusing display, even though it was kind of sad how desperate he seemed to hang out with him. The anti-hero even looked like he perked up even more after Peter's small laugh.

  
A free burrito actually sounded so god damn good right now, but ever since Gwen started her diet, he promised to support her and eat better himself, despite the fact that he was in great shape. She had gotten pretty self-conscious recently, ever since they started college, and has been really stressed out about it.

  
This wasn't the first time that Wade had offered to buy the hero a meal and asked him to "hang out", and of course Peter never took it seriously. He mainly took it as Deadpool wanting to just talk his ear off and be as annoying as humanly possible. Also, letting his guard down around Wade made him a little weary, he wasn't sure if he was really up for that tonight. Sure, he'd always been a little weary of the other man, but ever since the night Deadpool's lifeless body crashed threw his window, he had been on high alert. Though now, he was sure he was in the clear, that Wade didn't know that was his apartment.

  
"Ah, actually, I can't. Not tonight. We should just talk about the patrol and call it a night. Like I said, it's getting late anyway."  
Peter could see Wade visibly deflate and he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel a little bad. It didn't matter who they were, he didn't like giving up someone's hopes like that, it made him feel like a shitty person. It was one of the reasons why he could be so blunt with Wade when the man would suggest that they were BFFs.

  
"Oh, heh heh, right right, forget I even asked." Deadpool rubbed the back of his neck before he stood up straight and clapped his hands together, speaking in a tone as if he wasn't embarrassed of the rejection, "So! Patrol! Yes, let's talk about it!"

 

* * *

 

 

The night was quiet. Moonlight streamed through the clouds and wind rattled the window slightly to the small, crappy apartment's bedroom window. Wade was resting on his bed, on top of the single crumples and stained bedsheet, fully suited up, and in a light slumber. He had a hard time sleeping that night, White and Yellow patronizing him about asking Spider-man out and being so clearly rejected again. It's not like he wasn't used to something like that, but that didn't mean that he liked it.

  
He wasn't stupid, he knew that he kept grabbing on to false hope that his hero would care to spend any kind of time with him unless it was necessary. It didn't stop him from trying though. Sometimes he was rational about his reality, but other times, Spider-man would do something small and make him weak in the knees again. Just the little laugh Spidey did before he rejected his offer made him feel like his heart would explode in his chest. He often told himself that it was just the hero worship and being acknowledged positively that got to him, but even if it was just that, it's something he didn't get often at all, so it was something he took to heart.

  
Spidey was a good guy. He knew that the webhead often ignored him and blew him off, but other times he still gave Wade a chance to explain himself when others wouldn't let him. Even with this whole shadow thing, even though Wade had to beg him, he still listened to him about it in the end.

  
It was then that the rattling of his window in his dank apartment slid up and Wade was on his feet in an instant with his arms held straight out in front of him, guns pointed at the figure, fingers ready to pull the trigger.

  
"Woah woah! Deadpool its me!"

  
Wade blinked, his guns drooping slightly, "..Spidey?" He brought his guns back up, "How did you find where I lived? Not that I really keep it a secret, but I know that you don't know where it is."

  
"Yeah... about that--WAIT! Don't turn on the light!"

  
Wade's finger was inches from the light-switch when he froze at the sudden outburst and he stared at the webhead, the eyes of his mask wide in surprise, "...uhhh.."

  
"Just, let me explain, alright? Just--back away from that. I don't know if anyone saw me land here, but I really don't want anyone to know I'm here okay? I already get enough grief about it from Tony."

  
" _Ooooo~ Risky_! You know, this is kind of scandalous! Can you imagine the newspapers? Spider-man, romping with--well. Everyone thinks I'm you, so, romping with _himself_! Oh man, if New York didn't hate you already, they wouldn't know what to think of you then!"

  
Spider-man laughed softly at that and Wade was sure that he could hear his heard beat.

  
**[Whoa there,tiger. Something feels weird]**

  
**(He really does have a cute laugh though, doesn't he? sigh~)**

  
"Yeah he does." Wade answered the voice that only he could hear in a romantic manner. He stepped back from the light-switch and put his guns back in their holsters, still not believing that Spider-man was in his apartment. "So~" He hopped onto his bed, leaning on his elbow with his cheek in his hand, trying to look as comically seductive as possible as he spread his legs, "What so I owe the pleasure~?"

  
It was dark in the room, but it was hard to miss the tremor in Spider-man's shoulders as he stifled a laugh before rubbing at his arm. He almost looked...nervous? His visioned motioned for the bed, "Do you mind if I sit down? I wanna talk seriously with you for a second."

  
**[Holy shit. He wants to sit on the bed. _Next_ to us.]**

  
**(SAY YES SAY YES SAYYESSAYYES!!)**

  
"Holy shit, _really_?" He adjusted himself on the bed and sat on the edge, feet on the ground, and cleared his throat, " I, uh, I mean, sure! Sure Spidey!" He patted the spot beside him and surprisingly, that's the spot Spider-man took. He actually found himself scooting a bit further away to give the younger man some space. "So, uh...what was it you wanted to talk about?" He straightened up, "Did you see the shadow??"

  
Spider-man rested his elbows on his knees and kept his gaze on the floor, "That's not it. I just...well, I wanted to apologize for tonight." He paused and looked at Wade, noticing he had his fully attention, "I know I push you away a lot, and I know you don't mean me any harm, but I've really been an ass to you lately. It's just, I'm having a hard time with Tony, and the other Avengers, and I guess that I was just taking it out on you. And I'm sorry."

  
**[Whoa.]**

  
**(Whoa.)**

  
"Whoa." Wade couldn't believe his ears. He never thought in a million years that Spidey would apologize for something like that, let alone _think_ about him enough to even _want_ to apologize. He wasn't expecting something like this, so he didn't know how to react. It left him speechless.

  
"....well? Aren't you going to say anything?"

  
Wade blinked "...uh..yeah, sorry. I just never expected something like this."

  
The older man swore that he could see Spider-man smile through his mask in the darkness. Spider-man shrugged, "Yeah, honestly, I didn't expect me to do this either. It was bothering me all night."

  
Wade's shoulder's sagged a bit, "So, is your conscience cleared now then?"

  
"It's not about my conscience. It's..I dunno, about doing whats right and---" He paused, longer than necessary and Wade wondered if the spider fell asleep or something. Spider-man was staring at him hard, and it actually made him wonder if the younger man could see his face through his mask or something. His hand unconsciously reached for the bottom of his mask, just to make sure it was on and didn't lift up during his sleep.

  
As he tugged, he felt a hand over his as it gently moved his hand away to replace it with his own. Wade's hands went to grab Spider-man's when he felt the man start to roll up his mask, "Whoa hey whoa. What are you doing. That's a no-no-zone."

  
"I've heard the Avengers talk. You don't keep your identity a secret."

  
"Yeah but, that doesn't mean I want you to see. I mean, you come in here and apologize, and I appreciate it you know? And I don't want you to leave here feeling offended because you saw my face."

  
Spider-man snorted a laugh, "Wow. I don't know if I was supposed to laugh at that. But I did. You're so stupid." He teased lightheartedly and laughed again, "Okay okay, just halfway? I'm just really curious."

  
"I dunno man..."

  
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours?"

  
"Wow. That's what I was gunna say."

  
Spider-man smiled, and this time Wade actually saw it when he rolled up his mask. Even though his eyes had adjusted to the darkness, it was still hard to make out a lot of the details on Spider-man's face, as if he was shrouded in darkness. Still, he could see more than he ever had before. He looked young, younger than him, younger than he thought. Just from seeing that, he could tell that the young man he's been admiring was very attractive. He didn't know if that excited or worried him.  
He felt Spider-man's hands once again tug at the bottom of his mask, and he once again stopped him, "Wait, Spidey--"

  
"Backing out?"

  
Wade stared at the male in front of him, the one sitting on his bed beside him, smiling at him in good humor, the one that apologized to him after an embarrassing night. Spider-man, his hero, was in his apartment and just revealed a small part of himself, that he didn't even have to ask for. It felt like a small bridge of trust was being built between them right now, and as silly as that sounded, it floored Wade completely. No one willingly wanted to get to know him unless maybe a good round of sex was involved. And there was no way that's what this was. No matter how good of a night this was turning out to be, there was no way it would turn out like _that_.

  
**[Don't give fanfics that much credit.]**

  
"No," Wade finally responded, keeping Spider-man's hands in place, "I just don't want you to regret anything, or take back your apology after you see it up close and personal, you know?"

  
Spidey laughed again and swatted Wade's hands off of his, "You're a real dork, you know that Wade?"

  
Wade blinked and tensed up, as if in shock at hearing his name. He didn't even notice when his mask was rolled up, showing the cracks, scars, and sores, and who knows what else was there at the moment. He was hoping that he was hard enough to see his face as it was to see Spidey's, because he just kept that smile on his face and said, "There."

  
Wade didn't know what to say, it was like there was just so much thrown at him at one time that his body didn't know how to handle it so it just stayed stock still, especially as his fingers ghosted along his jawline. He felt cold. It must have been really chilly outside, and yet he still made his way over to apologize to him. It wasn't strange for a hero to make is way about a city through the cold, especially with their movements keeping them warm. What _was_ strange, was for a hero to bare the cold to see _him_.

  
The cold fingers felt so smooth against his rough skin, he watched the younger man's mouth, waiting for it to twist in disgust, but it just changed to a softer smile as he examined Wade's mouth. Spidey scooted in a bit closer, "So this is what you were scared of?" The soft fingers gently ran across the cracked lips in front of him, some of the skin flaking off, but not putting off the spider.

  
"Not many people like it." Wade responded bluntly, his fingers flexing nervously in his lap.

  
" _I_ like it."

  
Spider-man removed his fingers and loomed in closer, and Wade couldn't help but gently grip at one of the man's arms to hold him back a bit. It felt a lot softer that he remembered, as if he squeezed too tight, he would break the arm clean off. It was almost ghostly. "You sure..?"

  
"I won't regret it." was the immediate, soft response.

  
There lips were mere inches away now, and Wade was still waiting for the moment he'd wake up from this god damn dream, ".....how old are you?" He managed to ask through his haze of dumbfoundedness.

  
" _Old enough, Wade~_ "

  
With that, Spider-man's hand gently ghosted over Wade's thigh and pressed his soft, cold lips against the man's warm, cracked ones.Wade pushed against the kiss, deepening it only slightly, as if he was scared that pressing too hard would somehow shatter the illusion. The kiss only lasted a moment, and before they parted, Wade could feel the other's smile against him, and fuck, it felt good.

  
Wade didn't even realize that he closed his eyes until they were open and Spider-man had stood up, mask rolled back down. The hero reached down to run a soft finger around a large sore on Deadpool's cheek before stepping back towards the window, "Later, Wade." Spider-man slipped out quietly, vanishing into the night without another word.  
Wade sat there on the edge of his bed, staring at the open window in silence, mouth hanging slightly open. His eyes were wide in disbelief over the whole strange, yet exciting experience, and the only thing he could do was sit there and wonder:

  
_What the fuck just happened?_


	5. We Need to Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few things get cleared up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to continue this chapter but it was getting a bit long, so I had to force myself to stop where I left off!

It had been almost two weeks since Peter had last run into Deadpool, but less than a week since he's had the strange feeling of being watched. He wondered if it had just been Deadpool watching him this whole time, but it was usually when he was out of uniform, and he knew that Wade didn't know who he was.

  
Being followed wasn't worrisome at this point, it was just really annoying. To have his Spider-sense go off only slightly every now and then was much like when a fly or mosquito was buzzing around your ear and you couldn't quite see it or hit it, but you knew it was there. Bruce had told Peter to keep his guard up as he and Tony had tried to look up anything they could about this shady character. But it was hard when there was so many other things going on in his life at the moment.

  
"Spider-man! Behind you!" Captain America called out as Peter ducked close to the ground while the behemoth behind him took a hard hit from the Captain's shield. It konked against the monster's head and spun itself back to Steve's hand.

  
"Thanks, Cap!" Peter called out before shooting webs around the large rat-like fiend, and pulled the webs hard enough for the monster to lose it's footing and fall hard onto it's back.

  
"Nice one!"

  
"Eh, this guy wasn't so tough." Peter responded to the praise by sticking out his chest with hands on his hips He strung a web over the rat's mouth like muzzle and strung the rest of it's body to the concrete. "So where's Tony?" He held out his hand toward Steve, who reached in his pocket and handed him a thick syringe.

  
"He said we could handle this one ourselves."

  
"Yeah?" He stuck the oversized rat in the arm with the long needle and it howled pitifully. "Is he still looking for info about the Shadow? I was thinking he gave up on that since there hasn't been any kind of activity with it. Also, I know that he thinks I'm just crazy when I talk about it, he gives me that look that he gives Deadpool. I don't blame him." Peter handed the syringe back to Steve and the hero stuck it back in his pocket.

  
"Well..you're right about one thing, it's definitely in the farthest part of his mind right now. It's, well, it's not really any of my business to say, but he and Pepper have really been rough with each other lately. He stayed back to deal with whatever he did to make her upset again."

  
"Why am I not surprised."

  
The two men watched as the fur on the creature shrunk, along with it's size. It's howls became yells, and the ashen fur became pale, soft skin and it's struggles became weak, "Let me out of here!!"

  
The police sirens sounded in the distance and Steve nodded to Peter, "I'll let you deal with the police. You're better at this than I am." He gave Spider-man a pat on the shoulder with a side smile, "I'm going to go make sure Tony didn't do anything that threatened his safety."

  
"Alright, Captain," Peter gave a quick salute with his finger, "I'll see you around. Tell me if I need to bring flowers for Tony's funeral."

  
Steve laughed and waved Peter off as he made his way back towards the Avengers Tower. Peter watched the Captain go as a sudden clearing of a throat pulled him out of his trance. _Oh, right_! He looked over his shoulder to his girlfriend that was sitting in a hammock made of webs that was woven between the gap of two buildings, high from the ground.

  
Spider-man climbed up the wall, a sly smile in his voice, "Whats up? Just hangin' out?"

  
"Oh my God. That's the worst." She punched his shoulder teasingly, trying hard to hide her smile. She climbed into Spider-man's arms and he repelled them down to the sidewalk,

  
"You alright?"

  
Gwen pat her skirt down, looking back up at the hammock, "Yeah," she sighed, "You caught me just in time." She smiled at him with her hands behind her back like a shy fangirl, "Thanks Spider-man. What would I ever have done without you?" She picked at a loose strand of fabric on his chest, "Is there anything I can do to repay you? A kiss perhaps?"

  
"Oh! Great idea! Move it toots!"

  
Gwen was shoved roughly out of the way by a man that she could only imagine, from Peter's descriptions, was Deadpool. The red and black suit, guns, knives, pouches, and rudeness tipped it off.

  
"Hey Spidey!" Deadpool leaned his hand against the side of the building, pressuring the smaller hero to back up against the wall. "You know, I've been thinking while out for the past few weeks, taking on a job or two to clear my head up, and I was thinking that we should kinda talk about, ya know, _things_."

  
"Uhhh... _things_? Deadpool I'm kinda busy--"

  
"Yeah, you know, about what happened _that night_ and all--Excuse me." Deadpool looked pointedly at Qwen, putting a hand on his hip as he kept the spider trapped against the wall, "What is up with women these days? Always hangin' around me. Can you like, leave? We got important hero stuff to discuss."

  
Gwen looked completely shocked, looking from Deadpool to Peter, then to Deadpool again. "Wh--"

  
Deadpool made a loud, exaggerated sigh, "It's a curse how my charm makes the ladies _stupid_."

  
Spider-man glared at Deadpool, " _Watch it_ , Deadpool."

  
"Awwww, is somebody jealous? Don't get so upset!" Deadpool leaned in close to Peter's ear, "You know I only got eyes for you baby~"

  
"Eugh, _stop_!" Spider-man shoved hard against Deadpool's chest, knocking the man off balance, and made his way over to Gwen, "Sorry, Miss. Will you be okay getting home on your own?"

  
Gwen's gaze finally left Deadpool and went back to her boyfriend, "Uhhh, yeah. Don't worry about me Spider-man. I'm a big girl. Thanks for all your help today. You're my hero, and I'm your biggest fan!" She gave a quick look over to Deadpool, hearing Peter snort behind his mask before she leaned up to give him a quick kiss on his masked cheek. "Be safe Spider-man." She waved her goodbyes and Spider-man gave Deadpool a hard look.

  
"She _totally_ wanted in your pants dude. She's not good enough for you, she looks too much like a bi--"

  
Spider-man webbed Deadpool's mouth, then his body to the wall. The shorter man jabbed a finger into Deadpool's chest " _Don't_ talk about her that way. Don't talk about _any_ victim that way, do you hear me?"  
"mm-mmph!"

  
" _Good_."

  
The sound of sirens stopped near the small destruction in the street, and cops then wrangled up the tied up man in the street. A cop tipped his hat to the hero, and others looked at Deadpool, wondering if he had anything to do with the crime but Spider-man waved them off. It was clear that none of the cops wanted to speak with him directly, so without a second glance at the mercenary, Peter crawled up the building and began to jump off the rooftops, distancing himself as far away from Deadpool as he could before he decided to literally rip his head off.

 

* * *

 

 

" _MMM MM MMPH_!!" Wade called after his hero, struggling against his restraints. He strained against the strong wires, they bit into his skin, cutting enough to draw blood. It didn't _hurt_ but it didn't feel good. He really got him tight this time.

  
**(Oh! I wander what other kind of things Spidey uses these webs for.)**

  
**[Dunno, but maybe we can find out soon. He seemed pretty interested a few weeks ago.]**

  
**(Yeah, but he doesn't anymore. Probably because bonehead here decided to ignore him for that time.)**

  
_Hey! I needed time to think alright!?_

  
Two policemen stared at Wade with curious looks, and he swore that one murmured ' _hey, is that Spider-man_?' Their gazes turned shocked when Wade suddenly ripped himself from the wall and ripped the rest of the webbing from his mask. He hated when Spidey did that, He loved to run his mouth, so when someone stopped him doing that, it was helluh aggravating.

  
"Keep the souvenir boys. From your friendly neighborhood Spider-dude!" Deadpool tossed them the bloody webbing that they hot potatoed back and forth to each other in disgust. He ran off into the direction his favorite arachnid jumped off to, really hoping he'd be able to catch up.

  
**(Okay big guy, let's be real with you alright? It's obvious that Spidey was just jerkin' our chain, right? Like...come on, Spidey?? He probably left and laughed his ass off all the way home! He had us wrapped around his finger!)**

  
**[I wish I could argue with that, but, for once, Yellow is actually right.]**

  
**(I'm SMART!)**

  
Wade had already thought this over. At first he was thinking just not bringing anything up at all, letting it go, and if Spidey wanted to bring it up then he could. That way, no harm no foul. Pretending something didn't happen would always make things better! No one would get hurt that way! But Wade had learned by now that it's better to just confront things straight up, rather than wait for things to turn to shit after getting in too deep. Sure, it took him a few weeks to figure out what he should do about it, but at least he came to a decision.

  
He _knew_ that there was no 'what if things when this way', it was always 'when things go this way, this will happen'. So he knew for a _fact_ that things weren't going to turn out pretty, so he might as well get it over with.

  
**(Look at how confident he is, not even scared.)**

  
**[Scared, maybe. Confused, definitely. Nothing is adding up.]**

  
**(One plus one always equals two. Us plus love always equals heartbreak.)**

  
"Jesus fucking Christ. Do you guys really have to do this _now_?"

  
**(Yes.)**

  
**[Just trying to keep you on your toes. Don't expect anything to come out of this. You know what happened last time.]**

  
**(And the time before that.)**

  
**[And before that.]**

  
With the voices droning on, it felt like forever until he heard the familiar faint sounds of hero-confrontation. He was surprised that Spidey still had the stamina to go out criminal hunting, well, more like, he was surprised he didn't just say ' _fuck it_ ' and laze around for a while first. It was one of the things that made Spider-man so admirable. If Wade had two jobs to take care of, he'd do one, rest the fuck up for a few days, _then_ go for the gold. Fuck being tired.

  
Wade turned a corner to see Spider-man tying up what looked like a robber outside of a convenience store. The hero said a lame witty one-liner that Wade could appreciate and gave the store owner a thumbs up before swinging off in another direction. This time around, it was easy to catch up with Spidey, who crouched upon the roof of one of his favorite spots. Wade wasted no time climbing up, seeing the hunched red and blue back in front of him.

  
"Hey Spidey!"

  
"Augh, _really_?" Spider-man craned his neck to look over his shoulder at the older man wanting his attention, "Did you seriously follow me all the way here?"

  
"You act like you're surprised."

  
"You're right. I'm not."

  
"Really though Spidey, we gotta stop meeting like this. It's a little too romantic for my taste. The fangirls will get jealous--or like it. A lot."  
"What do you want _Deadpool_?"

  
Spider-man said that name as it if was poison on his tongue, not that it was out of the ordinary, but it was almost taunting, like making fun that he didn't want to say Wade's real name again.

  
"Uh, okay, did I _do_ something?"

  
**[Besides not call?]**

  
"Is this cause I haven't been around for a bit? Look, it's me not you, I just needed to clear my head about the whole thing. It was weirder for me than you--for some reason? But really though, I didn't know how to handle it. Usually the ladies are all up on me, guys too don't get me wrong, but I guess I don't know what _you_ of all people would get out of this. Is it sex? It's sex right? Cause--"

  
"What are you going on about Deadpool?" Spider-man stood up from his crouch and turned to the other man.

  
Wade shrugged his shoulders and waved a hand around, "Wanna pretend it never happened, eh? Haaha, no really, I get it. I was thinkin' the same thing, ya know? just hanging out as usual with only that small piece of uncomfortable knowledge in the back of your mind, wondering if the other person forgot about it but you totally know they didn't, and wondering if the other person thinks you forgot about it or if you also remember and you two try so hard not to remember that remembering is literally all you do--"

  
"Deadpool! What the hell are you even talking about? Should I even ask or are you just talking to yourself again. You're not making eye contact with me so I'm not sure."

  
"Exactly! _See_?" Wade clapped his hands "Yeah, okay, I'll play along, okay this is good! Let's just keep at it, and just sail on with our lives being only slightly uncomfortable around each other. I can deal with that!"

  
**(You know, Spidey really is a good actor. He should try out for Broadway.)**

  
**[Rejection or not, that ass would look great under white light.]**

  
"Oh my God. Will you just speak _English_? I honestly don't know what you're talking about!" Spider-man crossed his arms, "You know that I don't care that you haven't been around right? Why would I? That's like.. _normal_."

  
"Well, yeah, but like, it still seemed kinda shitty of me, you know?"

  
"....no?"

  
Wade stared at his hero, silence stretching between them.

  
**[Okay, this is getting ridiculous.]**

  
**( _We're_ the crazy ones right? Or he he just stupid?)**

  
"Did I miss something? Is this because I didn't get a burrito with you?"

  
Wade stepped forward, "You..really don't remember?"

  
"Remember what? And if you say our anniversary, I will kick you off this roof."

  
Deadpool sighed, shoulders slumping. He came here ready for rejection, but he wasn't ready for something like this.

  
**(Maybe he got hit in the head or something?)**

  
**[Or he just genuinely doesn't remember.]**

  
"Remember--I know it was two week ago, but come on Spidey! You came into my house through the window and stuff, remember?"  
"Uh...what? Deadpool, I don't even know where you _live_."

  
"That's what I said! But then you were all 'I followed you home so I could apologize!'" Wade explained in his worst Spider-man impression.

  
"Apologize?"

  
"For blowing me off when I asked you out!"

  
Spider-man squinted his eyes behind his mask suspiciously. But before he could dwindle on that subject, Deadpool continued,

  
"And then you were like yeah I wanna apologize and you did as we sat on the bed then you took my mask and you know."

  
"This sounds like the plot to a bad romance novel. And no, I don't know."

  
"YOU KNOW SPIDEY! YOU KNOW!"

  
"For the last time! I DON'T KNOW!"

  
**[You should totally remind him. Especially if he's playing dumb]**

  
**(DO IT DO IT DO IT! He's playing hard to get!)**

  
**[Agreed. Do it.]**

  
Deadpool groaned. He walked up to Spider-man and grabbed him by the arm, startling the younger man, before lifting up his own mask over his nose, "Dude, what--"

  
Wade lifted Spider-man's mask in a quick motion before suddenly crashing their mouths together, giving Spider-man no room to react. He tilted his head into the kiss as he felt Spider-man shift backwards on a foot. That's all he could really remember before a blinding pain erupted behind his eye and through his skull, leaving him sprawled out on the roof.

 

* * *

 

"What the _hell_ Deadpool!?" Spider-man's fist was clenched and shaking"What the hell is your _deal_!?"

  
Deadpool groaned a string of jumbled up curses, stars stinging his vision. "Who ever said a kiss with a fist was better than none, was totally fucking lying." He slowly sat up and could feel the blood soaking into the side of his mask and running over his eye and down his cheek. He covered his palm over his eye and looked over to see Spider-man spitting and wiping the germs off of his mouth.

  
"Augh! It's like eating garbage!"

  
Wade managed to stand up on wobbly legs and Spider-man gave him a hard glare, his frown visible until he rolled his mask back down over his face.

  
"Hey! What was that for?"

  
"What was that for?? Deadpool you kissed me! I get that you're this funner jokester, but you've taken it too far this time!"

  
"I _wasn't_ joking! And--You started it! You comin' into my room and making a move on me! And now you act like it's weird! I told you I get it, we could've just pretended it never happened! But you kept going on like you really wanted for me to explain and--"

  
"I _never_ kissed you! What are you talking about!? I never went to your house, and I never apologized to you! I haven't seen you after you asked me to get food with you! Unless there's another Spider-man running arou--" Peter stared wide-eyed at Wade.

  
"....what?"

  
Wade hadn't seen the Shadow turn into Spider-man, it left right before he made it into the alleyway. " It's--" Spider-man paused, thinking. Wade was acting really strange, talking about how he went into his room, and how they kissed, "Were your lights on?"

  
"Uhhh. What? Now _you_ sound crazy."

  
"That time! That time you said I came over! Were the lights on?"

  
"Well--no, you told me to keep them off."

  
"Shit."

"Okay, you know something I dont."

  
"It wasn't me, Deadpool."

  
"Ok? Care to explain further?"

  
Peter sighed, mouth feeling suddenly dirty and wiped his hand over his masked mouth before continuing, "The night we saw the Shadow, before you came into the alley, it...came out of the ground and turned into me. It copied my body and ran off."

  
"But--It lifted it's mask and it looked like the same chin as your chin."

  
"A lot of people have the same chin. It's probably been following us around this whole time, knowing what we look like. That's why we've felt like eyes have been on us this whole time. That's why he didn't want you to turn on the lights. If you did, well, it would have been very obvious."

  
"But--I was able to actually touch him and stuff--"

  
"Okay. Don't go into detail."

  
"Really though! The only thing that was weird was that he was really cold. Like, helluh cold. I thought it was just cause it was cold outside or something. And when he sat on the bed, it felt his weight, and last time I checked, shadows didn't weigh a damn thing."

  
"Yeah...that _is_ weird...I wonder just what the hell it wants. Why is it doing all of this? There's literally no purpose to all of this. It's just being a pain in the butt."

  
Wade shrugged, "Dunno." He paused, looking to his feet before shrugging again "...So, that really wasn't you."

  
"No."

  
"And you didn't come over to apologize."

  
"Nuh-uh."

  
"And we didn't kiss."

  
Peter shivered, not liking to think about it, "No, not ever."

  
"Well, this is awkward. Should have just kept pretending it never happened, hahahaha."

  
Peter watched Deadpool wipe the blood from his cheek before rolling his mask back down and looked exhausted, like all his energy had just been completely drained out of him. And damn, Peter suddenly felt guilty, and his fist ached. Wade had really thought that was him with him that night. Wade had mentioned that he wasn't joking and, now that Peter had a moment to look back on it, seemed a little nervous about discussing the whole thing.

  
Even though Deadpool was annoying, and irritating, and insane, he still felt bad that he thought there was something going on between them when that obviously wasn't the case. Wade's defense mechanism wasn't hard to recognize. The merc talked a lot, but there were times when Peter just knew that the man was trying to protect himself in some way. He disliked when Deadpool messed with him too much, but he wasn't heartless. He just needed to explain himself to the other man.

  
"...erm..Deadpool." Peter cleared his throat, noticing the mercenary perking up a bit at the sound of his voice, " I, uh....you know I'm not..." His voice trailed off and he looked away uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck, "you know."

  
"Yeah, I mean, I guessed that. But you never know right? People are weird with what they like these days, and _I'm_ weird! Besides, you--er, the _Shadow_ kinda initiated things so I was kinda weirded out by that but hahahah guess it doesn't matter. It's not like I was really counting on anything to happen, just got that tunnel vision with you sometimes, since you're my hero and all, you know? But, you know, even though it wasn't you, it just had me thinking about things or whatever. BUT ITS OKAY! Its okay! Because like, I wanted to talk about how this wouldn't work out anyway, cause hahah lets face it, me, and _you_? Come on, that would _never_ \--"

  
It was almost painful to hear Wade rant on, and Peter felt like he wouldn't stop until he interrupted, And just then, a thought came into his mind, "Wait. So, hold on. Did he lift up his mask like...all the way?"  
Deadpool blinked behind his mask, "Well, no. I mean, he came right after I came home that night. He probably didn't know what you looked like."

  
Peter sighed, but he didn't feel completely at ease, not yet. "I'm sure he does now though." He looked down at his and Deadpool's feet, Spider-sense not sensing anything in the area, "And that was only that one time you saw it?"

  
"Uh, yeah. I skipped town until now so..."

  
"Okay." Peter ran a hand down his face, "Okay." he repeated. This was bad. He began to pace, thinking of what he could do in this situation. If the Shadow revisited Wade, he could reveal his identity to him, there's no reason why it wouldn't. That thought had made Peter force himself not to panic. "Okay. Listen." He stopped and turned to Wade, who was watching him pace silently. "I'm gunna give you my private number."  
Deadpool bounced on his toes, "Yeah?? Did my charm finally win you over? You're jealous that I kiss another man aren't you? Oh, I know how hard it is baby, but don't worry, I don't like black guys!"

  
Deadpool waved his hand around, talking to no one in particular as his gaze turned upward, "Oh come on! It was a joke! You guys have no sense of humor! Just like Spidey!"

  
" _Listen_ Deadpool. Seriously. Give me your phone."

  
Deadpool wasted no time plucking his phone out from one of his pouches, handing it to the other man. He clapped his hands like a child, "Ooh! Ooh! For the name, put "Boo" or "Tight ass" or greater than sign three!"

  
Peter squinted at Wade. Even after their awkward moment, he still went on with his stupid remarks. Well, for now, Peter wasn't going to hold him to it. He put in his number with "Red" for his name. He handed the phone back to the mercenary. "Only call me if it's important. If you happen to see the Shadow, call me immediately. We need to see what this guy is up to." He didn't want to have to beg Wade to not let the Shadow see his face, he felt like that would entice the anti-hero to see it even more. It was the perfect way to blackmail him, and why wouldn't Deadpool want that?

  
"Roger! Don't worry Spidey!" He clicked the buttons on his phone, mesmerized by the number. He changed "Red" to "Lover" and tried not to squeal, "You can count on me!"

  
"Good."

  
Another awkward silence spread between the two. That was happening a lot lately. "Well, okay then. Now that you're back in town, I'm sure he'll be stopping by again. Just call me okay? Especially before he tries to do anything.. _weird_." He knew that Wade would know what he was talking about and didn't explain any further. But he wasn't true he trusted Wade to not try anything further, so he added, "You'll do that for me, right?"

  
"Yeah! Of course!"

  
Wade answered right away, and it gave Peter some relief. But he wouldn't be completely relieved until they caught this guy. He didn't know what to actually do though. He didn't want to bring up the incident with Wade to Tony and the others. It was, needless to say, fucking embarrassing.

  
"Alright. I gotta head out now. I'll catch you later, Deadpool." Peter ran off the top of the building and shot a web, across the way, flinging himself out of view from the other.

 

* * *

 

"Later Spidey! I'll call you!!" Deadpool waved his hands in the air, sure the spider didn't hear him. His hands flopped down to his sides and his body sagged.

  
**[Well. That didn't go the way we planned, but it sucked equally as planned.]**

  
Wade looked at his phone's screen, still happy, but feeling less so by the second. His shoulders were slumped and he suddenly felt very heavy, mind blank yet racing a mile a minute.

  
[ **Oh. The silent treatment? I told you things were weird that night, but you never listen to me.]**

  
**(You're not gunna cry are you? Should we leave? Give you a moment?)**

  
**[Naw, I think he's just coming to terms that he's been played. That the happiest moments of his life once again came tumbling down in an instant.]**

  
**(Yeah, I can see that. You win some you lose--all, in our case.)**

  
Wade was upset, there was no denying that, but he'd been in worse situation before. Still, that didn't make it easier every time something happened. The wound on his head healed, but he could still feel the tingling sensation from the punch Spidey gave him. He couldn't blame him though, he could have done a lot worse. He knew that he sucked as a person, and he knew that having hope in a crush was useless, but sometimes it was nice to think that someone might actually think he was worth the time and _mean it_. He couldn't die, so he was going to be around for a long ass time being a shitstain on this planet and it would be nice if there was someone he could be a shitstain with.

  
**[Heeeeere we go.]**

  
**(Soooo, is the plot moving along or?)**

  
**[There's a plot?]**

  
**(I don't think he needs our help in his self loathing. He's pretty good at it don't you think?)**

  
**[A+]**

  
He didn't like being played with, especially when it came to his attraction to someone. His mood turned angry and he clenched his fists. He'd been duped like an idiot, and he hated being treated like some fucking moron. That bastard Shadow was probably laugh his ass off about the whole thing right now. Who knows, maybe Spidey was too. That Shadow was going to get his black ass beat.

  
( ** _Dude_! Racist!)**

  
Wade put his phone back in his pouch, and turned toward home. He was suddenly feeling very anxious for nightfall.


	6. Don't Need The Swine Flu To Be A Sick Pig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter feels guilty and has relationship problems, while Wade feels horny and has self-esteem problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter took a while to update! Though, it has about 11,120 words so I hope that you enjoy it!
> 
> I don't have a Beta, so there will probably be LOTS of spelling errors, so I apologize in advance! It was too long of a chapter to catch everything! ):
> 
> Comments and Kudos mean the world to me! So please don't be afraid to do so! TT v TT <333 Thanks a bunch!!

Wade waited, day in and day out, night after night. He waited in his bedroom, pretending to be asleep. Waited in his living room, pretending to watch TV or play a game he's beaten ten times already. Even in the bathtub, pretending to be dead, as he waited.

  
**[No, no. He was really dead.]**

**(Shooting himself really does pass the time though.)**

  
All this waiting was starting to get exhausting. Wade really didn't know what to do with himself. Shoot himself in the head here, jack off there, stab someone across the way, nothing really help his anxiety die. There was one thing he enjoyed doing lately though. He grabbed his phone and leaned back on his dirty couch, tapping away at the screen. After some thought, he changed Spider-man's name on his phone from "Lover" to something a bit more tasteful. Whenever he saw "Lover" pop up on his phone, it just started to make him feel a bit uneasy.

  
_< Wade> No sign of him yet )':_

  
Wade flopped his phone down on the couch and stared up at his grimy, cracked ceiling, feet on the table. It was one of the rare times that he wasn't dressed up in full gear, he was just laid back in boxers and his mask. The day had been too hot and his sores felt and looked worse today, so wearing his tight suit really did a number on his after a while. He decided to stock up on tacos, burritos, and chimichangas so he wouldn't have to venture into the outside world. Though, he'd been holed up in there for so long that it was starting to smell worse than usual.

  
It was about 20 minutes later when his phone vibrated, and he wasted no time grabbing it.

  
_< Baby Boy> You know that you don't have to keep texting me that right? Just text me when something actually happens._

  
_< Wade> Yeah but its boooooooooorriinnggg ))))):_

  
After five minutes waiting for the other to respond, Wade wondered if he was busy doing spider stuff, or just thinking of what to say. Maybe he just didn't hear his phone go off.

  
_< Wade> SPIDEY_  
_ <Wade> SPIDEY_  
_ <Wade> SPIDEY_  
_ <Wade> SPIDEY_

  
_ <Baby Boy> Omg, don't call me that on here. If I lose this phone somewhere I don't want someone getting suspicious._

  
_ <Wade> Ok, Baby Boy!_

  
_ <Baby Boy> gdi_

  
_ <Wade> Wut r u doing? :D_

  
**(I'm helluh surprised he's humoring you as much as he is.)**

  
**[This is why it's hard to get over him.]**

  
**(That nice bastard.)**

  
Wade flopped onto his back, phone in hand like a lifeline as he waited for his phone to notify him of a response. "Yeah, he's nice." He gave a romantic sigh and rolled onto his side, "He doesn't _have_ to respond, but he does. Nate never responded this much."

  
**[And now he doesn't respond at all.]**

  
**(Auuuuggghhh can we _not_ mention him in this chapter please?)**

  
_< Baby Boy> Wade, I really need to go now. I can't have my phone distracting me right now._

  
Wade frowned. This is how their conversations usually ended, just like in real life. Spidey would say he needed to go, and just go. It would shatter the older man's rose tinted glasses almost instantly. It made him realize just how alone he actually was, because things tended to get really quiet when he wasn't texting. Except for the boxes of course.

  
_< Wade> boooo )': Alright. Have a good day sweetums! Dont work 2 hard~! ( 0 3 <) <333 *smoochsmooch*_

  
He could imagine Spidey crossing his arms, rolling his eyes under his mask, and shaking his head with a loud sigh. The thought made a chuckle pass his lips and he reached up over his head to place the phone down on his small side table. Another day of waiting. He and Spidey agreed that this was a good strategy, but it was driving him off the fucking wall. He would only give this waiting game one more week before moving on to other things. Maybe he'd head back to his other apartment, check on Bob, hang out with Al. He was due to see Ellie soon anyway. Seeing her would wake him up, he loved visiting his daughter. He knew that he was a shitty father, but she didn't seem to mind, and he really did love her.

  
The buzzing from his phone jolted him up into a sitting position and he rushed to grab it.

  
_< Baby Boy> Uh, Thanks. I'll text you later okay?_

  
Wade stared at his phone wide-eyed. Spidey never responded to his goodbye texts, and never offered to text him later. Wade was always the one to text first. If anyone cared to look, Wade was sure it would be obvious to see the stars in his eyes.

  
**(It should be illegal to feel this good!)**

  
It took everything Wade had in him to not button-smash his response, and he actually had to _think_ of what he wanted to say next.

  
_< Wade> KMSDLFKMLSMFDLSMFLSMFSKGMDSLG_

**[Perfect.]**

  
_< Wade> Sorry my cat stepped on the phone. I meant to say Sure! text you later baby boy!_

  
**(We don't even _like_ cats.)**

  
**[Yeah, we're more of a dog person. Speaking of, what happened to the one we used to have?]**

  
Wade flopped back down on the couch, head hurting slightly from how fast he'd gotten up. Would Spidey text him later that night, or just sometime later in the future? He almost wanted to ask--okay he _totally_ wanted to ask, but that would be weird, right?

  
**[But totally expected from you.]**

  
"Naw, I'll give Spidey his space. It makes the wait more exciting!" The masked man reached over the center table and grabbed a paper plate with an unfinished chimichanga atop it.

  
**(You are so hung up on someone that doesn't want you.)**

  
**[He does this to himself.]**

  
**(I get that we can be desperate, but booty is easy so get these days. It's literally around every corner.)**  
**[No chance of catching diseases means no risk.]**

  
**(Ooh! OH! Let's get that redhead in the leopard dress again! She was really wild!)**

  
**[A true animal in the sack.]**

  
"Not tonight guys! I don't want to get too distracted in case Spidey needs me or something! We'll chase tail this weekend if our target doesn't show up by then."

  
**(LAME! This is so LAME! You're super lame dude.)**

  
Wade flipped the TV on to see what cartoons he could get with the shitty cable he was stealing from his neighbors. He ate and watched the dull, static laced shows for at least two hours until he found himself nodding off.

 

* * *

  
Peter looked at his phone with a small frown. He had to admit that his communication with Wade was more than he liked, but he couldn't help feeling bad about the whole situation that happened around him, no matter how uncomfortable it made him. Honestly, he wasn't _that_ bad when it came to texting, apart from the constant buzzing when he was in the middle of something important. If Pepper or Tony ever knew he'd been texting the merc and keeping this whole Shadow thing from them though, they'd really give it to him. He would tell them, just not now, now is not a good time.

  
He wondered if he was doing more harm than good when it came to Wade. He told the man straight up that he wasn't into guys (or as straight up as he could manage at least), and yet he ended up giving him his phone number right after and had been texting back and forth with him almost daily. It was true that it was for a good reason, and Wade would be the one to text first, so he couldn't just not respond. Peter had an itchy finger when it came to responding to people, like everyone in his generation. Even though he had more friends now than he did when he was younger, it still surprised him when people wanted to text him. He knew it was stupid, but he'd probably feel that way for a long time.

  
He'd be lying if he said Wade's hero worship bothered him completely. He still got surprised a bit when the anti-hero tried to impress him or called him his hero, when _anyone_ called him their hero actually, even Gwen. Hell, even when aunt May said he was her hero for doing the dishes it brought a smile to his face. He hadn't been Spider-man long, but he supposed after a few more years, the magic of those words would wear off. Wade would be sure to run the word into the ground soon for sure. He said it almost every time they met.

  
Wade....damn. Peter unconsciously wiped his mouth at the memory. He couldn't believe---well, he kind of could-- that he'd been kissed like that. A shiver ran down his spine. He wondered if telling Gwen would be bad. He wasn't sure if she'd be angry, or laugh. It's not like he initiated it, or _liked_ it for that matter. In fact, he _hated_ it. Even though it only lasted a moment, it was sloppy and rough. The skin of Wade's lips were cracked and flaking, feeling like small stabs onto his own lips. His skin was dry and cracked as well, open sores and Peter could smell the copper-like scent they gave off, and could swear that they were oozing something. It really..well..grossed him out to be honest. Why did he look like that? He had a healing factor didn't he? Was his whole face like that? He didn't want to think about it, not right now.

  
What disturbed even more was the fact that Wade was kissing him--a _version_ of him in his room. He didn't want to ask if that's all they did, because...he was scared of knowing the answer, and knowing Deadpool, the man wouldn't just stop there. It made him feel a little ill. It made him think of things he'd rather keep buried in the past.

  
"..You okay Peter? You've been staring at your phone pretty hard. Is it your aunt?"

  
Peter blinked and looked up to his long time friend, Mary Jane. She had a lopsided smile on her face, one she usually did when she was curious. The noise restaurant slowly came back to him, reminding him where he was.

  
" _Rude_. Texting when we went out of our way to invite you to hang out with us." Harry, another long time friend of Peter's, responded from across the table with a light punch to his shoulder. He and Mary Jane were a good part of his childhood. Their friendship had helped him through a lot of his depression when he was younger, and it hurt to think that maybe he wouldn't be around if they weren't in his life. The only difference between the two was that Mary Jane knew that he was Spider-man, Harry didn't.

  
It's not that he didn't trust Harry, it's just that Mary Jane found out completely on accident. He would rather she didn't know either, anything to keep them out of danger.

  
"Hahaha, sorry guys. Just a partner from the lab is having a hard time adjusting, so he keeps asking me for help with some things." He lied.

  
"Smart and caring like always. Guess it can't be helped." Mary Jane sighed dramatically, " _Someone_ needs to follow your example." She nudged her boyfriend in the side and Harry laughed,

  
"Hey. No fighting around Peter. He doesn't need to witness how bad you can beat my ass."

  
Peter laughed at his friends from across the table. He and Gwen have hit a bit of a rough patch these past few days, what with Peter busy with school, doing odd jobs for cash, and patrol. She even got upset when he texted Wade, complaining that he wasn't paying enough attention to her. He didn't feel like he was ignoring her, and he'd always been busy when it came to being Spider-man. He had to admit though, texting Wade helped distract him a bit. Gwen would be the one that he'd always text while doing homework in the quiet of his apartment, or whenever he even had _time_ to text her. Since they are having their fight, not to mention the awkwardness of being around Pepper and Tony's.. _thing_ they are going through, and he really didn't want to bother his happy couple friends or aunt May about his predicament, Wade was someone he could use as pastime.

  
_Use_. Okay, he knew that sounded bad, especially when he knew how wade felt about him, but he didn't know what other word to... _use_. It was strange. Even though he didn't want to, he kept thinking back to what Wade had said to him. He felt a bit torn inside. He wanted to text him, but he also felt slightly uncomfortable about the whole situation. He felt like texting him was a good substitute for Wade not having to physically see him. When he thought too hard about it, he felt like he was the shittiest person on the planet, but when he didn't think too hard about it, he didn't feel like he was doing anything wrong. He made sure not to extend his texting for too long just so--

  
"Dude, you're spacing out again."

  
"Sorry!" he put his phone in his pocket, "Sorry, my minds been everywhere lately."

  
"So we noticed." Harry leaned back in his seat before stabbing his food with a fork, "You wanna talk about it? Mary Jane told me you and Gwen were having a rough time but I wasn't sure on the details. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, I just thought that maybe you needed someone to lend an ear. You always help me out when I need it."

  
Harry was a good guy, he always just wanted to help Peter, and it made Peter feel guilty to push his problems on him and Mary Jane. He knew that Harry was struggling with trying to live up to his father's expectations ever since elementary school and has gone through many bouts of depression. Peter had always been there, as Harry was for him, and he'd always had his eye on Mary Jane. And even though he and MJ had their moments of attraction, he couldn't bring himself to go out with her, the thought always felt like some kind of betrayal. So when she and Harry finally hooked up, he felt relieved for himself and for Harry, especially because he hadn't seen his friend so happy in a really long time. Sure, he still has his moments of stress, but nowhere near as bad as he used to.

  
Knowing that, it just felt wrong to make Harry worry when he had so much on his plate already. "Yeah, I mean, it happens. It's my fault though so I just gotta make it up to her you know? Been too busy with school stuff to really hang out much with her." He tried to be as vague as he could without being too much of a downer or seeming rude as to make Harry think that he was evading his sincerity.

  
"You mean _our_ Peter Parker is too busy doing _homework_ to talk to _girls_?? That doesn't sound like you at all!" Harry teased lightheartedly, the biggest smile on his face.

  
"It's always the smart ones that you have to watch out for. Glad _I_ dodged a bullet with that." MJ snorted and Harry wrapped his arm around her shoulder,

  
"Wow, funny, _I_ was going to say the same thing."

  
Mary Jane dipped her finger into her water and flicked it at Harry's face, and Peter could only laugh. It made him miss Gwen to see them like that, but he really liked watching the two interact with each other. He knew that MJ was trying to steadily shift the conversation somewhere else, but Harry pressed on,

  
"Maybe you and Gwen could go on a double date with us soon? MJ can invite her to hang out and we can all go somewhere without it being too awkward. Not tricking her of course, we'll let her know you're there too."

  
"Yeah," Mary Jane agreed, "We haven't been able to go on a double date in a long while. I miss those days!" For a while, Mary Jane and Gwen didn't get along too well, both having feelings for Peter (something he still couldn't fathom), so he was glad that the two came to a truce. They were best friends now from what Peter could tell. "I'll check up on her tonight, and _you_ , Peter, better just man up and apologize for you being so... _you_." She tapped her nail on her glass, making it cling, "She's pretty understanding, you just gotta try harder."

  
Mary Jane and Harry were always like Good Cop Bad Cop when it came to advice, which Peter actually appreciated. It gave him different views on how to handle a situation. He was never good when it came to knowing how to make up to someone like this, seeing as Gwen was his first girlfriend. He just knew that saying "Sorry" wouldn't always suffice.

  
"Get her flowers, chocolate, a teddy bear, anything! And get on your knees and plead for her forgiveness." She finished off with a smile.

  
"Yeah, you're right. I'll talk to her. I'm going to let her cool down a bit first though. She keeps ignoring my calls, or only picks up to yell at me." Peter leaned back in his seat and let out a deep breath, "Thanks guys." He smiled somewhat awkwardly with a shrug of his shoulder.

  
"No worries Pete." Harry reached over and gave his friend a hard pat on the shoulder, "Tell us how it goes okay? MJ will soften her up for you. But for now, let's not think of things like this. We're happy to see you! We have to savor this moment with you while we can!" He raised his finger for the waitress to bring the check, taking out his wallet to pay for the other two, which he insisted to do no matter how much Peter protested. "There's this awesome play Mary Jane said that you'd enjoy. We got some really good seats!"

  
"Which play?" Peter asked curiously. He had been out of the loop to what was going on in the city when it came to media that wasn't about it's heroes.

  
"You'll see! It's one that you've mentioned before!" She hinted as they stood up after Harry left a very generous tip on the table, "You're gunna love it!" She wrapped one arm through one of Peter's, along with Harry's, with a skip in her step.

  
Peter laughed, curiosity turning to excitement when he saw how excited Mary Jane was, "Hahaha, alright, I believe you."

  
She lead the two men out of the restaurant, all three with smiles on their faces.

 

* * *

 

  
Wade woke up with a start, kicking his feet and rolling off of the couch and onto the stained hardwood floor. "Augh, shit."

  
**(Woah! Was that an Earthquake? It's all jumbled up in here!)**

  
**[And I was having a good dream.]**

  
**(Sleeping with you is always a dream~)**

  
**[Such a romantic.]**

  
Wade rubbed his head and shook it, trying to get the stars out of his eyes. Standing up, he looked around the room, "You guys heard that right?" Another sound, something crashing to the floor in his bedroom. He quickly reached for his gun on his side table and looked toward his bedroom door, it was slightly cracked and no movement could be seen.

  
**[I think our guest has finally arrived.]**

  
**(Oh goody! A guest!)**

  
Wade cocked his gun but made no other movement and kept his gaze on the bedroom door, listening for anymore sounds. It was dark out now, and Wade had no thoughts that it could be someone else besides the Shadow. When there was only the sound of soft shifting coming from his room, he waved his gun, tapping his temple with the barrel, "Heeeeey, I hear you in there, _Spidey_. Why don't you come and join me out here?"

  
The bedroom door creaked slightly as it opened and inch, dark fingers could be seen wrapped around the door frame, tapping nervously. "Uh, hey Wade. No, How about you come in here? It's a little too...bright in there, you know?"

  
"Oh, right. It's okay baby boy. No one will see you in here. I can close the blinds."

  
"No, Wade. I don't want to take any chances." The door creaked open just a little more, and Wade could swear that he saw a faint white glow coming from the Spider's masked eyes, "Just come in here please? I need to talk to you about something."

  
**(Is this guy for real? He thinks he can fool us twice with that?)**

  
**[I wouldn't blame him. We're pretty gullible.]**

  
"Crazy how it sounds just like him, huh?" The merc whispered to the voices as he tapped his temple a few more times before turning his attention back to his guest. "Sure thing Spidey," He comically hid the gun behind his back as he singsonged "Coooming~"

  
Deadpool took a step inside,looking behind the door at the "hero" leaning against the wall. "Hey--" the hero skipped back a few steps as Deadpool opened the door all the way,

  
"Hey there good lookin?" Wade sat on his bed, keeping his gun out of sight, the light from the other room illuminating him. He tapped the spot next to him, "What's cookin? Take a seat, tell me whats on your mind?"

  
The shadowed spider paused before answering, "...sure." He didn't move for a few seconds, taking a quick glance at the window before taking a seat on the corner of the bed and keeping in the shadows. It was clear he was starting to feel uneasy with his eyes obviously shifting towards the door.

  
"Is there a problem sweetums? Spider got your tongue?" Wade wore a large grin behind his mask as he sat on his bed though feeling the anger rising inside him bit by bit. Even though he was amused by the situation at hand, he wouldn't let it distract him from how pissed he was. This mother fucker had him in the palm of his hand and Wade let him hold him there.

  
"Uh, no. It's just..." The Shadow stopped, as if thinking of what to say, "You not being dressed kinda puts me in an awkward situation you know?"

  
**[PFFFT]**

  
The hero looked to the floor, twiddling his fingers, and it pissed Wade off even further. What right did this fucker have to act all cute and shit like that? Every cute quick glance he gave to Wade, every seemingly uncomfortable shift of his feet, every awkward pause in his voice, and every slight nervous twitch Spider-man made, made Wade's blood boil. It was like staring at a cute puppy in a cage that the owner wouldn't let you play with as it just teased you with its cute sad eyes like it was begging for your attention. And the spider had Wade's full attention, so much so that he didn't realize how hard his finger was pressing against the trigger of his gun.

"..right." Spider-man cleared his throat, not looking up from the floor "Uhm, so you haven't been around lately? I was wondering if maybe...it was because of me? Did you--"

  
Without warning, Wade lashed his hand out and gripped the back of the other man's neck and slammed him hard on his back against the mattress.

"Wade! What are you _doing_?!"

  
The larger man straddled the smaller's hips, keeping a firm grip around his throat and gun pressed roughly "See, it was fun humoring you for a quick second. But every single _fucking_ syllable that came out of your mouth wanted to fucking blow my brains out, not to mention yours."

  
"What are you talking abou--"

  
"GOD! Will you just shut the _fuck_ up you piece of shit shadow?" He pressed the gun harder against the shadow's temple and his gun phased right through the thing's head.

  
With the barrel of the gun now lodged in his eye, uncaring, his expression turned mischievous with a smirk. It's voice was a deep rumble, " _Damn, you found out already? I didn't even get any time to play with you~_ "

  
Wade pressed the gun harder into the mattress even though it clearly was having no effect on the shadow creature, "You've played _plenty_." He squeezed his hand tighter around the thing's throat until it too eventually phased through, and the creature laughed with a dark toothy grin. It looked really unsettling with the Spider-man mask on.

  
" _Oh, I dunno~ I think I could have done with a bit more playtime. See, I had this whole bit I wanted to do. But now, well, that fell through. Not gunna lie, kiiiind of upset about it_."

  
" _WHY_!?" Deadpool made a fist and punched through the shadow's head with one hand and made a phased pistol whip with the other, "What the fuck is the point with messing with me like that?! You follow me around so I know you know what my deal with Spider-man is, and you play me like that! The fuck does that do for you?!"

  
" _Why?_ " The shadow trailed his fingers up Wade's leg before they were swiped away, " _Because its something to do. Because its fun to fuck with people, in every sense of the word. Because, hahahaha, why the fuck not_?" His grin didn't leave his face and it made Wade clench his teeth, " _Aw, I'm sorry baby~ Did I hurt your feelings?_ " The shadow's voice warped, changing back to Spider-man's vocals, "I'm sorry Wade, Let me make it up to you, okay?" The shadow's fingers lightly ghosted over Wade's crotch, which seemed to be seated very comfortably against its stomach "I can make you feel better."

  
Wade swiped the creature's hand away roughly, "Stop it you stupid cunt!" He once again tried to pistol whip it's face but to no avail, "WHY CAN'T I FUCKING HIT YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING FUCK!?"

  
" _You know, as many times as you say 'fuck', I really think you're trying to send me a message._ " The shadow bucked his hips up, grinding against Wade's crotch, making the man growl and jump off of the bed. The shadow chuckled and sat up, watching as the mercenary walked over to his shelf of weapons, " _Aw, honey~ Come back to bed. You know I cant sleep without you_ ~"

  
The taller man made his way back to the bed, katana in hand, and rammed it straight into the shadow's crotch, piercing the bed.

  
" _Oh. Kinky~ I always knew you were the wild type. I'd appreciate if you were more gentle with me though_."

  
Wade continued to stab, if only to make himself feel better and let out some steam, "JUST. FUCKING. DIE!! Stop looking like Spidey and trying to fucking seduce me it CREEPS ME OUT!!" Wade pulled out his sword and threw it across it room. It clanged against the wall and onto the floor and Wade began to furiously pace around the room.

  
" _You, uh, feel better after that temper tantrum, buddy?_ "

  
"YOU'RE NOT MY BUDDY!" The scarred man wrapped his hand around the shadow's neck once again, dragging the form across the bed now full of holes and into the light, "And how come sometimes I can touch you and sometimes I phase the fuck through you!?"

  
The shadow squirmed in the mercenary'd hold, feet kicking momentarily before realizing, as if the feeling of being stung by the light dissipated.

  
"Don't like that huh?" Wade stared at the shadow, it's breath suddenly ragged,

  
"W-Wade..." It choked in the familiar hero's voice, "Wade...stop, please.." It gripped around Wade's fingers around it's throat, foot kicking out and bucking, "It hurts! It hurts Wade, _Please_!!"

  
Wade's fingers twitched in a moment of hesitation. It sounded _just_ like Spider-man, so much so that his pleas actually startled him. The shadow used that moment to buck roughly and kick Wade off of him, tossing him to the floor in the next room. It stood up, grinning, and walked towards the fallen anti-hero.

  
"Augh, fuck. My ass bone." Wade rubbed his ass and looked up to see the shadowy figure standing over him, clearly unharmed by the light. It was fucking with him. It's shape changed. No longer was it in the form of his hero, it was bigger now, taller than him, and more toned in shape. It had long arms and what looked like claws. Its eyes were like white orbs and it's sharp teeth glistened just the same. In the light the figure looked translucent, particles circulating throughout it's body, and a light blue glow illuminating from it's middle.

  
**[Wow, uh. Didn't expect that]**

  
**(Definitely not as cute as Spidey! It's givin' me the creeps!)**

  
"Whats wrong Wade? _Spider got your tongue?_ " It taunted, before it's attention was grabbed by the tone of Wade's cellphone indicating that he received a message. Wade made no move to look toward the phone, but he stilled in a way that was obvious to the creature, " _Speaking of~_ " It bent its wrist in a mock Spider-man action as a black, smokey substance released from it, clinging to Wade's phone and retracted it into its hand. " _Well well well, what do we have here. Baby boy, hm_?"

  
"You ass! Give that back!" Wade got to his feet and reached to snatch for the phone, but a large hand firmly pressed itself against Wade's face, holding it tight out of reach. It laughed, sharp teeth stretching across it's face,

  
" _You really got it bad huh?_ " It thumbed through the messages, " _Ever think you're creepy? You seem pretty creepy. You're being friendzoned up the ass, buddy. Well, aquaintancezoned._ " It tapped a few buttons before tossing the phone to the floor and it skidded under the couch. Wade gripped at it's wrist, hand still blocking his vision, "I _t's a little sad. You, loving him, and him, not caring in the slightest bit. Yet you still try_."

  
Wade ripped the hand off of him and took a few steps back away from the larger..male... _thing_. "Who the fuck are you to say shit like that? You have no right! What the fuck even _are_ you??"

  
It shrugged, " _Don't know, don't care. I'm just here_." It flicked its claws in an uncaring manner. " _Look, we can totally keep fighting and shit if you want, but I didn't come here for that._ "

  
Wade raised an eyebrow ridge under his mask and kept his guard up as he eyed the figure, "I'd rather you get the fuck out." His eyes glanced over to where his phone skid off to. He promised to text Spidey when this thing showed up. What would happen when he did? Would Spidey come over? Would he have any ideas on how to deal with this thing, or would he be just as clueless as he was? They haven't once come up with any kind of plan on how to handle this thing, but Spidey said he had been thinking of how to handle it, even though he has yet to tell Wade as what he'd been thinking. "I have a feeling that there's nothing I can do right now to get you out. So what the fuck is it your doing here then?"

  
" _I'm glad you asked_!" The creature grabbed Wade by the wrist, and though the merc resisted, he managed to plop him on his lap as he sat down on the couch.

  
"What the fuck _let go_!!" Wade pried at the arm around him with one hand as his other couldn't land a single strike against the shadow's head, no matter how rapidly he swung it. Eventually he just gave up with a loud "FUCK!!" and opted for giving the couch a good punch before he crossed his arms, pouting like a five year old child.

  
" _You know, it kind of tickles when you do that. AAAaaannyway~ So, the idea I had was to pretend I'm 'Spidey' right? And since I first met you, I knew there was something about you that attracted me. You were stupid. So, so, so very stupid. So I was like, cool. New target. But that was before I ended up killing you. Kind of upsetting. But then, THEN I saw that wow you weren't dead! So I followed you around a bit and saw you hanging with the neighborhood..uh..spider guy. Saw you two mingle for a bit --interesting by the way-- and you were so sadly desperate for him to take notice of you and I saw something there. Something that pulled my attention,_ " The shadow slapped Wade's bare leg, making the man jerk in his grasp, " _and I just knew you'd be the one I wanted to play with_!

  
" _So I figured that I'd disguise myself as your beloved and get you emotionally involved, we fool around for a bit, and we both get to have some fun. Total win-win right? But then you disappeared out of fucking nowhere so it was like what the fuck?_ "

  
"God. You talk so God damn much. Is that what I sound like when I talk? No wonder no one likes me."

  
" _So I had to follow your boyfriend around while I waited. Toootal snooze fest. Don't know what you see in that guy. Then I saw your light on and thought, yeah tonight's the night, gunna get a little action._ "

  
Wade let the words sink into his head for a moment. Was he really hearing this?

  
**[This is weird. I feel weird.]**

  
**(Yeah, like...fooling around is fun and all. But it's weird that he'd choose us over Spidey isn't it?)**

  
**[No one would choose us over Spidey. Not even _us_!]**

  
"So let me get this straight. You've been stalking me for days, giving me paranoia, and pretending to be Spider-man, all because you want to fuck with me. In the literal sense. And you think _I'm_ the creepy one??"

  
" _Well, as much as this body will let me, yes. I can't handle actual penetration, you'd phase right through me like your sorry excuses for punches. I can only handle so much pressure. But man, taking over someone's body usually does the trick, let me tell you. Humans can get so god damn wild, it's pretty amazing_."

  
Wade shivered slightly. This was just like before with Typhoid Mary. Pretending to be someone else to get him when he was most vulnerable...it made him sick. He actually had to swallow the bile that was forming in his throat. It wasn't a pleasant memory, he had lots of pleasant memories, but that was one of the one's he'd rather die than remember. He didn't even realize that the creature was still talking, but the feeling of it's arm around him was giving him a phantom burning sensation on his skin, even though the thing was cold as ice.

  
" _Huh. What's going on in that dense head of yours? You look like shit, and I can't even see your face_."

  
"Don't fucking touch me you shitty excuse for a waste of space. I don't want to fuck you and I definitely don't want to be fuck _by_ you."

  
" _Weren't you listening to what I said? I cant even_ \--"

  
"STOP FUCKING TOUCHING ME!!" Wade struggled out of the Shadows grasp and lept off the couch. He only made it a few steps before he stopped dead in his tracks. He couldn't move. He looked behind himself to see the shadow relaxing back against the couch while its foot...

  
**(He's stepping on our shadow!)**

  
Wade could feel himself shaking, adrenaline rushing through his body. He was angry. Angry that someone would do this to him _again_. Angry that someone _did_ do this to him again. Back then, he left his heart wide open for Siryn, the woman he _thought_ he was with. He promised himself that he'd be the best, good person that he could be, and that he'd stop killing for _her_. If Siryn wanted him to change, he'd change into whatever she wanted just to be with her. But that fantasy died quick when he found out Mary was just using her image to sleep with him.

  
She told him that she needed to shower just to get his stench of of her. And he was the one feeling dirty. He thought that he got over it, just like she told him to do, but this was something that would stay with him permanently. His fists clenched as he stood there, his back to the shadow, and tried to control his breathing.

  
" _You uh..._ " The shadow noticed the random shift in Deadpool's demeanor. This was all going wrong. Definitely not according to plan. He figured Wade was the type to sleep with anything that had legs and was ready and rearing to go all day every day. While following in Wade's shadow, he noticed that the man had a very high libido.

  
Wade was quiet, in his own world that he currently was stuck in. His mind was wandering and didn't know where to go. His eyes beneath his mask were unfocused as he thought back to that day, the images and sounds, voices and words repeating in his head. He felt gross. He felt like he needed another shower. He felt useless and worthless, which in hindsight meant that he just felt normal. His mouth ran dry and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He was a fucking joke, and he knew it, yet he put himself into this kind of situation time and time again.

  
A shuddered breath escaped Wade's throat before two small hands gently wrapped themselves around his chest. The slender fingers were cold and soft, and they grazed over his scars, careful not to cause any pain.

"You okay, Wade?"

  
Wade snapped out of his trance. That voice again. They both knew that he wasn't fooled, yet the shadow insisted on pretending to be the object of his affection, saying his name like that. "Stop it." Wade's voice was low and quiet, and there was a slight tremble to it. The fingers stroked his bare chest lightly, almost carefully, almost like the creature was being kind. Wade didn't like it. "Stop--"

  
"Peter."

  
"....what?"

  
"Call me Peter."

  
Deadpool stared ahead, breath stilled. He found his gaze slowly looking down at the black fingers that were pressed against his body, now making their way to his hips.

  
"...is that _your_ name or..."

  
"It's mine for tonight if you want it to be."

  
The fingers rounded to his navel as the ones on his other hand went to trickle up his sides, not enough to tickle, but enough to actually feel... _good_. This isn't how he wanted to find out his hero's name. He always had this stupid fantasy that Spidey would tell him himself. He even knew how it'd happen. They'd be sitting on the roof of a tall building in the city, eating some awesome takeout and paling around, like friends do. Then, while the night was still young, Spidey would look over, tell him how he was glad they ended up friends and that he trusted Wade enough to tell him his name. It was stupid, and he knew that would ever happen, but it was a nice fantasy.

  
Spider-man was always so _secretive_ , never let anything about himself known whether it be a girlfriend, hobbies, dreams, or even favorite color. He made sure nothing slipped through, one of the reasons why, Wade suspected, the man kept his conversations clipped was so he wouldn't let anything about himself slip. So Wade would often let his mind wander what Spider-man liked, what made him happy, what made him tick, what made him sad, what turned him on, what his name was (well, he knew that _now_ ), and what he looked like.

  
Wade wanted to know everything there was to know about the mysterious man. His voices had told him a few times that it was an unhealthy obsession, but even they can't deny how curious they were about the hero. Wade enjoys talking to Spider-man, even though he still felt embarrassed looking back on the kiss he gave him. He knew that Spider-man would never want him, but it sucked to actually hear him say it. It made everything he knew even truer. All his fantasies wouldn't become a reality.

  
He knew, _knew_ that he and Spidey weren't friends, no matter how many times he said aloud that they were. He knew that his shitty life would stay shitty. He knew that Spider-- _Peter_ wasn't going to be the last person he'd fall for, wouldn't be the last person to make him feel like he might matter, like a loser, like a disgusting freak. But damn, he still wanted to know what it would be like to _have_ something that wouldn't turn to shit with someone he had an eye for. He'd wanted to know what it would be like to sleep with someone that _wanted_ to sleep with him, despite what he looked like, despite what he's done. He wanted a lot of things that an abomination like him didn't deserve.

  
A cold kiss was placed against his shoulder blade, and the body those lips belonged to pressed flush against his own. A sound came from Wade's throat that was a mix between a soft sigh and a moan when he felt a bulge grind against his ass. Wade shuddered, and he hated himself for getting aroused by simple touches by someone he clearly didn't want to be touched by. This wasn't Spidey, it was a manipulating asswipe that was..moving his hands lower, toying with the elastic of his boxers, not once mentioning his scars and sores or telling him he was a horrible person, who actually wanted to sleep with him without a transaction, who also looked like the guy he was infatuated with.

  
"You're thinking too loud." The Shadow finally broke the silence.

  
**(We even didn't say anything!)**

  
" _Look. I can tell you're like, trying to convince yourself that you don't want this, but lets face it, we're both kinda feelin' it right now. I'm hard, you're hard, we're hard together. One plus one equals two and all that.This may be your only chance to sleep with the guy you'll never get a chance with~ Ever wonder what he'd look like under you? Want to watch him writhe and hear him moan your name in the throws of passion? Touching you, loving you~ You can have that, if you want._ " The shadow's hands wormed their way down to Wade's and interlocked their fingers, " _If not, we can just leave it at that, let your only chance fly out the window. But that's for you to decide_."

  
Wade kept still, not saying a word. He knew what he wanted, but to actually agree to this. It was sick wasn't it? That's how other people would see it. They'd see this as twisted, gross, disrespectful to the person he was pretending to be with.... _crazy._

  
"Are you showing your--his face?" Wade asked in a soft voice.

  
" _You don't want to see it_?"

  
Wade didn't respond. He flexed his fingers, feeling another pair of fingers flex back in his own. Since there was no response, the Shadow made the decision for Wade, " _Mask half lifted then_."

  
The shadow slipped his fingers from Wade's grasp and turned the man to face him. It was so obvious, the difference between the shadow and the real Spider-man, and he wanted to slap himself for not noticing it. They were the same in shape and size, but in the light it was clear. The shadow stayed its dark, black hue, though the blue luminescent light hid itself way.

  
The creature gave off, what Wade expected was a shy smile, and pulled him over to sit on the couch. " _Let's turn the light off, hm_? _Don't want to shatter the illusio_ n." The shadow clicked off the light and Wade could feel the figure standing between his legs, eyes still trying to adjust to the dark.

  
It was weird to see Spider-man with that deep, gravely voice, and was actually grateful with the decision to keep it dark. Not only that, it made him feel better at all. Rarely did he ever have sex with the light on. "So," Wade started, "what all can you do if you can't actually have--" A cold finger pressed against Wade's lips,

  
" _Just let it happen, hm? Lean back a bit_." The shadow placed a hand on Wade's chest, pushing him back to relax against the torn back cushion. It straddled Wade's hips and rested his hands on the larger man's shoulders. It couldn't help but laugh at how stiff Wade's shoulders were, voice softer, Peter's voice. "You finally got me, and now you're too nervous to move?"

  
This was weird. This was really _really_ God damn fucking weird.

  
**(Dude! Just give in! It's _Spidey_! If we can pretend, so can you! Just get on with it! This is the best roleplay we could ever be apart of!!)**

  
**[I have to agree. Sick as it may be, this is an awesome opportunity. _Totally_ go for it.]**

  
The shadow's thumb caressed his nipple, and Wade could see the slight smirk on it's face now that his eyes had finally adjusted to the dark. "You're pretty built. I always wondered what you looked like under your uniform." The shadow tilted it's head and let it's hand slide down to Wade's abdominals, "After patrols, after saying bye to you, you know what I do?"

  
Wade kept his head down, just taking in the voice talking to him, feeling the fingers against his skin trace patters along his abs. He stuttered his response, "W-what...do you do?"

  
The shadow's smile widened, clearly elated that Wade was going to go along with this. It chuckled, "Well, I go home, and slowly undress. My body so heated, sweating from my uniform clinging to my body all night." It spoke slowly and softly, and Wade felt his body tingle with each, breathy word.

  
"...yeah?"

  
"Yeah." It leaned forward, cold breath caressing the crook between Wade's neck and shoulder, and whispered further, "And I sit on my bed, thinking about... _things_." It teased.

  
Wade's fingers twitched before he moved them to caress the dark thigh that straddled him, "What, uh, kind of things?" He responded, still trying to get past the awkwardness of the whole thing.

  
The shadow's cold chest pressed against Wade's, " _Lots_ of things. But the _biggest_ thing I think about is," It's hand slid down over Wade's boxers, caressing the bulge between the man's legs. He stroked his palm slowly against the clothed length, " _this_ rubbing against me. I think about me sucking you off, getting you so wet, and it makes me want to come just thinking about it."

  
The merc swallowed. He never imagined that Spidey would be the kind of guy to talk like this, but he would be lying if he said it wasn't arousing as hell. His fingers trailed up both of the spider's thighs until they rounded on his ass, giving it a light squeeze. He could feel the faux material of the uniform the shadow formed on its body, and he wondered if this is how it would actually feel to touch the real Spidey, minus the cold part.

  
The shadow's thin fingers slid into Wade's boxers and wrapped around his now hardened length. It's thumb slid under the glans and it hummed approvingly before moving up to caress the slit on the tip.  
Wade moaned and tilted his head back, focusing on the feeling those thin digits gave him, "Oh fuck..." he whispered. It was then that he brought his hands to Spidey's hips and pulling them forward to feel the hero grind against him.

  
"You like that?" The shadow gave the member a few quick strokes before stopping to once again rub its thumb against the tip, repeating the menstruation again. "Talk to me Wade."

  
He was being teased, and it felt so good. It felt good to hold Spidey like this, to hear him speak and say his name during an intimate moment. It didn't just make his body feel good, but his mind was starting to feel good too. "Yeah," he finally responded, "I like it."

  
"Sorry, are you talking to me? I can't tell."

  
Wade let out a breathy laugh, tilting his head to look at the figure’s half masked face, "I like it...Peter." Shit, it sent a shiver down his spine to his groin just from saying Spidey's name. If felt good on is tongue, it really did. “Peter.” He repeated again and it was _Peter’s_ turn to laugh,

  
“Wade.” Peter said in turn.

  
Wade moaned on an upstroke when Peter twisted his grip, “Fuck, Peter.” His head leaned back again, nose pointed to the ceiling. His eyes closed and he placed a hand over the eyes of his mask, “ _Fuckfuckfuck_.” He whispered with a hitched breath. He felt a cold pressure on his adam’s apple that jolted his body slightly.

  
Peter kissed Wade’s ruined skin. He kissed down to Wade’s collar bone, running his lips across it, then all the way up to the crook of Wade’s neck. He felt the rumble in Wade’s throat when he moaned and Peter moaned back into the skin before he pulled back with a smile. The younger man gently moved Wade’s hand from his face and rolled the mask up over his nose. His hand kept teasing Wade below and the fingers on his free hand dotted along the merc’s jaw. Peter scooted his body closer and leaned in, but Wade turned his head slightly before he could go any further,

  
“So...okay, just wait a sec.”

  
Peter pulled back a bit, his hand froze in it’s movements, “You getting cold feet?”

  
“No, that’s not it. Like, okay. I get this is all just pretend and all, but does this,” His hand motioned to his body, “really not bother you? Or is this part of the charade?” Even though it was dark, Wade had a feeling that Shadow Peter could see him better than he could see it. It was used to the dark.

  
“ _uhhh..really_?”

  
Wade didn't answer, he just stared at the figure.

  
**(Dude. Bro. REALLY? You’re gunna break the illusion for _this_?? It was just getting to the good part!)**

  
**[Seriously. Who _cares_ if it’s an act? Of course it is! Who would honestly _want_ something like this? Acting like he doesn't care is as good as we can get, and I’m fine with it. Let’s just finish what we started.]**

  
The shadow tilted it’s head like it was rolling it’s eyes behind the mask and sighed loudly, removing his hand from Wade's cock, “ _Listen, I've been banging all sorts of people over the span of my short time here and let me tell you, I've seen lots of things. Lots. And this._ " It mocked Wade's hand gestures, " _I can deal with this. It’s not a big deal. I mean, have you seen me? It’s whatever. I've been following you for fucking weeks, seen you bare ass naked way more than necessary. You think I really fucking care? All I care about right now is my risk of getting blue balls._ ”

  
The shadow shifted in Wade’s lap, voice altering, “Come on Wade, are you really gunna hold out on me like this? ” Hips ground against Wade's, proving a point by letting the man feel the stiffness hidden behind shadowed loins. He tried to think of Peter's character and how he'd respond to a situation like this, but fuck was it hard, "I want you to grind against me and make me come." he pleaded in the most pathetic voice he could muster.

  
**(OK JUST DO WHAT HE WANTS! DOITDOITDOIT!)**

  
"Fuck it". Wade grabbed the back of Peter's neck and pulled him down to roughly crush their lips together.

  
**[About time.]**

  
**(AWH YEAH~!! It's happening!)**

  
Peter pressed close to Wade's body and bucked his hips, his cock rubbing against Wade's. He pressed his lips hard against Wade's, forcing to let up a bit when his lips momentarily ghosted through the other man's. He opened his mouth and traced his tongue against the warm, cracked lips, tasting a bit of blood, and drove it through the entrance.

  
Wade grabbed tight to Peter's hips and thrust up against the bucking hips. His tongue pressed against Peter's, having a silent war between them. He kept his gaze on the seemingly younger man on his lap, watching how he took in deep breaths whenever his hips jutted forward against his own. He could feel just how cold Peter's breath and body was as his own got hotter. Honestly though, it felt kind of good to have the sharp jolt of chill rub against his heated cock.

  
The couch creaked while they rocked against each other, and their moans filled the room. Peter whispered Wade's name in his ear and Wade whispered Peter's back. Wade couldn't get enough of hearing his name and saying the other's. He wrapped his arms around Peter's back, holding him close as he gave short, quick thrusts that made Peter yelp in surprise before melting into Wade's grip. He almost felt like putty, just taking in the feeling of pleasure that Wade was giving him.

  
Peter let out a long string of moans, mumbling about nothing in particular, with his head leaning against Wade's shoulder and mouth agape. His fingers wrapped around both their members and began a lazy stroke, body suddenly jolting up. "Oh~ Yes yes yes~! Keep going Wade, keep going!"

  
Wade complied to the request as Peter stroked them together. His legs spread farther apart, feet planted firmly on the ground, and rammed his hips upward a bit rougher than he meant, making his legs phase through Peter's. This didn't deter him, however. He quickly put his hands to Peter's sides and lifted him up to position him back into position before once again thrusting upwards. The friction was strange, it felt really great, but at times it was ghostly, almost like a rough smokey feeling.

  
"What do you want me to say?" Peter whispered against Wade's lips before giving them a light peck. "I'll say whatever you want, Wade." The panting and whimper in his voice made him sound desperate, and honestly, that was enough for Wade. The sound of wanting and pleasure rang in his ears, and he didn't care what Peter said, just as long as he didn't stop.

  
"Anything. Say anything."

  
Peter put both his hands on either side of Wade's face, ignoring the pre-cum sliding between his fingers, and tilted the man's head up to look at him. He leaned forward and kissed the merc deeply, tilting his head and letting his tongue pass through Wade's lips.

  
Wade had no problem returning the kiss without so much as a pause in his thrusts. He did however replaced Peter's hands with his own, and continued stroking their members together. He moaned in the kiss, following Peter's head wherever it moved. It wasn't a sloppy kiss like the hookers did (hell, a lot of them had a no kissing rule as it was), but it was nice...it almost felt real. It felt like he was _really_ cared about in this kiss.

  
Peter broke the kiss and pulled back only mere inches and ran his fingers across Wade's lips, "I love you Wade."

  
This got Wade to come to a full stop. He didn't expect that. He didn't expect to hear those words come out of that voice, even in this situation.

  
Peter panted, the only sound that could be heard in the now quiet room. He removed his fingers from Wade's lips, " _...was that too much_?" Wade didn't say anything for what felt like minutes. The shadow actually thought that Wade would call it quits for tonight. But that thought changed when it felt an arm wrap around its back and a forehead press to its chest. Wade mumbled something that it couldn't quite catch, " _What? I can't hear you_."

  
"Say it again..." Wade said a bit louder, pressing closer to the figure.

  
It smiled and ran it's hand over Wade's head, "I love you Wade."

  
The mercenary began to stroke them once more, his body running hotter still, "Again."

  
Peter moaned, voice wavering, "I love you Wade~ I love everything about you. Your stupid jokes, the way you laugh, the way you touch me...it drives me crazy. I love the way you look at me when you think I don't notice you, and the way you get so excited just to see me---Ah~" His hips jerked and he could hear Wade panting roughly in response to his pseudo confession. "I love to see you like this, so hot and in pleasure. I love h-- _oh fuck_ \-- how you say the most random things that make me laugh, and how you come up with the lamest excuses to try to get me to hang out with me." He laughed and kissed atop Wades head and whispered, "I love you Wade."

  
That pushed Wade over the edge and he held Peter as tight as he could manage without phasing through and the muscles in his abdomen tightened, whole body stilling as he came. He let out an accidental broken sob into Peter's chest as he gave himself a few more soft strokes to ride out his orgasm and a long groan followed suit. When he finally stilled, he still felt the euphoria washing through him. He hated the fact that three little words could drive his body to it's limit like that, but right now he'd take it.

  
Peter looked down at Wade who seemed to be struggling to catch his breath. He could feel the man's body shaking, shivering. He felt a little awkward now, and he wasn't sure if he was supposed to say something to break the silence. He had to admit, he got a bit mushy there, but that's what humans liked. They liked all that lovey dovey shit when having sex with their partner, unless they were just feeling really rowdy, then they just liked it hard and fast without the sweet nothings. He didn't even get to come yet, so Wade had better not think that they were done here. He was about to speak up, but as he opened his mouth, the only sound that came out was a pleasurable sigh.

  
Wade's fingers wrapped around Peter's hard cock and pumped it fast. He knew that the hero was close to the edge, and stopping there would have been shitty. He still wanted to hear him, to hear Peter moan, and watch him writhe in pleasure. Peter twisted in his lap, and even with the faux suit over his body, Wade could see a bit of definition of ribs and muscle expanding and contracting as he breathed. God, it was unbearably sexy, and Wade couldn't think of why he wouldn't want to do this in the first place. He watched Peter gasp for air, like he was drowning in the pleasure, and it made Wade's whole body tingle.

  
The shadow's moans and cries began to fluctuate between its voices "Oh, _God_ Wade. _I'm gunna fucking come_! Holy _shit_!" A deep, rumbling groan erupted from the creatures throat, the blue light inside it's body becoming almost blindingly bright. He gripped tight to Wade's shoulders with claw like fingers, tight enough to draw blood.

  
It's back arched in such a way that Wade had to wrap an arm around it's back to keep it from toppling back onto the floor. He continued his rough strokes, loving the way it-- _Peter_ \-- looked in pure ecstasy. He could feel himself becoming hard again, sometimes a curse or a blessing effect from his healing factor depending on who he was with. He gave a few more strokes before the body against his shivered and stilled with a sharp cry, gasping for air. It came, a glowing stream of blue that was almost pretty, and it's legs drew up and it inhaled and exhaled sharply as Wade continued to stroke it's now sensitive member. It rode out the orgasm and put it's clawed hand over Wades, giving out a small, breathy laugh, body twitching,

  
" _Okay, okayokayokay, stop. Holy shit dude_." It gave a pleasurable sigh, the blue light inside it dimmed to its normal soft glow, chest heaving. " _Wow. That was awesome_." It smiled as its eyes trailed down to see Wade, erection clearly wanting more attention. It expected this though, he noticed that Wade would go a few rounds. It was weird, but interesting to say the least. Without another word it wiggled out of Wade's grip and slid onto it's knees on the floor.

  
Wade let Peter's doppelganger spread his legs open and he let out a hum of approval. This was turning out way better than he expected. There was no talk of how his mouth tasted like garbage, no gross remarks about how he oozed or smelled weird from his sores, and he didn't even have to ask for another round--sometimes the answer was disappointing-- to get him sated. It was a nice change, especially when he had to pay double to go again with someone.

  
He watched as Peter licked his lips and leaned forward, hungrily taking his cock into his mouth. Wade had to keep himself from leaning his head back, he wanted to watch this. He wanted to record this moment in his memory, the closet thing he'd get to being with Peter. Though, thinking of it like that made him feel a bit low. Having to get someone to pretend to be someone for him, just so he could feel important to someone he looked up to. That feeling flew out the window when Peter hummed and closed his throat around the tip of his dick. He didn't even gag or shy away from the sores that littered his member.

  
Wade rested his hand atop Peter's head, wondering how it would feel to grip his hair and feel it between his fingers. Everything about the shadow was cold, its lips, its tongue, its spit, and its throat. But he'd been grinding against it for so long that the feeling didn't shock him too much as it would if this is what they started out with.

  
Peter bobbed his head, sucking the man off, simultaneously stoking the length. He even pulled Wade's boxers down a bit further to lightly grip and massage his testicles. Wade gave small whine that made Peter laugh, the vibrations going through Wade's cock and whimpered,

  
"Oh, Peter! Mmnnnn~"

  
Peter hummed again, deepthroating Wade and circling his thumb across the man's hairless balls. He contracted his throat for a moment before dragging his lips off the tip with a ' _pop_ '. He licked his lips and stroked faster, watching Wade breathe faster. He could see the man's stomach clench in the darkness and he could tell that he was quickly approaching his end _again_.

  
"Come on, come for me Wade." He tapped the tip of the dripping cock against his tongue before once again taking it in his mouth. He felt Wade's balls tighten in his grip and bobbed his head quickly, letting the tip hit the back of his throat every time on the downstroke.

  
Wade couldn't help but let his head hang back against the couch, mumbling Peter's name under his breath. All the muscles in his body tensed up and he leaned forward as he came hard into the back of Peter's throat with a shout, and Peter swallowed every last drop.

  
Peter drew his lips off of Wade's cock slowly and ran a long lick from the base to the tip, teasing it's sensitivity. He patted Wade's thigh before standing up and wiping his mouth. " _How was that_?"

  
Wade leaned back and was left looking up at the dark, cracked ceiling, catching his breath. That happened. _That really_ happened. He lifted his head to look back at the spider that smiled at him, obviously satisfied with how he handled things. Wade couldn't help but grin, "That was...really fucking good." He admitted.

  
**('Really fucking good' doesn't come close to how good that was!)**

  
**[And we didn't even have to 'fuck' for it to be 'good'.]**

  
The shadow's form shifted back to, what Wade assumed, its original form, the blue glow from it's chest casting a hue in the room. " _Good. I can add this to my winning streak then_." It's smile grew from ear to ear, which in turn made Wade's smile fade from his face.

  
The high from the moment was slowly dwindling as the thought when through his head again that what just happened _really_ happened, and he let it happen. The room suddenly felt colder. He really did it. He looked down at his body, bright blue cum on his stomach, mixed with his own, the smell of sex in the room mixed with something unusual that he couldn't explain, and suddenly he felt a little sick.

  
" _Weeeeelll. That was fun and all, but I can see that you're going through something that I really don't need to be apart of. Soooooo,_ " The creature shifted over to the window, opening the raggedy, dusty blinds and lifted the glass, " _I'll just let you handle that._ _Later Deadpool~ I'll be seeing you around._ " It snickered as it slipped out into the night without a sound.

  
Wade watched the thing leave, and he just sat there, looking at himself. He really was fucked up, there was no question about it, but he didn't know he was low enough for something like this.

  
**(We did!)**

  
**[We definitely knew.]**

  
**(No doubt about it!)**

  
His phone sang a tune to indicate a message being received from underneath the couch. He didn't want to look at it. He felt like if he did, Peter would instantly know what he'd just done. Wade leaned forward and rested his head in his hands. He could feel himself shaking. The quiet of his apartment made his mind race a mile a minute, even without the voices.

  
How was he supposed to face Spidey after something like this?


	7. Just a Little Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade meets a cute guy  
> Peter meets a weird guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just one to get things moving along a bit!  
> I feel bad that I haven't updated in so long but school has been making things very difficult! ):  
> Even though not much goes on in this one, I hope that you still enjoy it! (:
> 
> Comments and Kudos are MUCH appreciated! :D it keeps me pumped to keep writing for you gus! (:

Wade told himself it wouldn't happen again He told himself that he would stay the fuck away from that shadow. He even nailed his windows shut, but it still managed to find its way in, and when it did, Wade would do what he could to make it go away. It was such a short lived goal. In the end he always found himself with it, on the couch, in the bed, on the floor, even the counter.

  
It would always take the form of Peter, it was still strange saying that name out loud, and it would always talk to him and say things that it _knew_ he wanted to hear. He couldn't stop; he couldn't get enough of it. He couldn't get enough of touching _Peter_ , and being touched by him. He couldn't get enough of saying things he always wanted to say. He couldn't get enough of being wanted, even if he knew it was all bullshit. Sometimes, it was better to be used, than not used at all, right?

  
Though, every time after their meetings ended, he felt like shit. He would just get depressed and tell himself it wouldn't happen again, but then he'd remember how good it felt in the actual moment of intimacy, and go for it. Whenever he was out of the house he'd wonder if the shadow was in his house waiting for him, and when he _was_ home, he'd wonder when it would come. He was fucking addicted, and he hated it. The voices minded a lot less than he did about the situation, of course.

  
Wade sat on a park bench, wearing loose fitting jeans, converse, and red hoodie with baseball cap underneath. He didn't have any jobs lined up at the moment, and he didn't feel like trying to be a hero today. He actually didn't feel like doing _anything_ for the past few days. During the day he'd just walk around, trying to keep himself busy in other, boring ways, sometimes at night too when he just needed a breather.

  
He looked down at his phone, staring at the text conversation between him and Peter. 'Conversation' was a rather loose term, it was more of Peter initiating a conversation, while he just answered sometimes. One time Peter even asked him what he was doing, which, on any other day it would have him doing back flips, he just felt guilty. He scrolled through the messages.

  
_< Baby Boy> Hey_

  
_ <Wade> Sorry, gettin some ass tonight! Don't bother me!_

  
_ <Baby Boy> Uh okay_

  
Wade glared at the text. He didn't send that. The fucking shadow must have sent that the night his phone went off. Peter actually kept to his word and texted him, and Wade had to go and be a shitlord and fuck around with that.. _thing_ , especially when it seemed like maybe Peter actually had something to say to him. It pissed him off.

  
"Shit."

  
He continued to scroll through. It was a few days later before Peter texted him again,

  
_< Baby Boy> Hey_

  
Wade actually cracked a small smile under his hood. The way Peter always texted 'Hey' as a greeting, always waiting for Wade to respond was funny to him for some reason. It was just a _Peter_ thing, and it made him laugh, even if it was a stupid thing to laugh at. He never did respond to that text, until later that night Peter texted,

  
_< Baby Boy> I'm going on patrol tonight. I think I've seen that shadow lurking around me lately. Bruce and Tony have come up with a few ideas._

  
Peter didn't say anything else about it, so Wade had to wonder if that was an invitation to meet, and honestly, he didn't _want_ to meet up with him. He couldn't take seeing the guy he'd been supposedly sleeping with the past few nights. It was about forty-five minutes later when Peter texted again,

  
_< Baby Boy> What are you doing? You busy?_

  
And that's when Wade finally responded,

  
_< Wade> Can't tonight sorry. _

  
He turned his phone off for the next two days after that.

  
What the fuck was he doing? He was so pathetic. He sighed and put his phone back in his pocket. He noticed that Peter hadn't responded after that. He was tired of trying to deal with him. Wade wouldn't blame him, he was being an ass. All he ever wanted was attention from his hero, and now that he was getting some, he was just tossing it in the trash. If Spidey ever found out what Wade had been doing, he wouldn't talk to him again anyway. So in a way, this was just Wade preparing himself for that he supposed.

  
**[That's one of the shittiest excuses I've ever heard.]**

  
**(Besides all those other shitty excuses he's made!)**

  
**[Personally, I still don't see the problem.]**

  
**(Yeah! The only way he'd ever find out is of we told him! And we sure as hell aren't gunna do that!)**

  
**[Honestly, we got a good thing going on here, and his emo phase is really ruining the vibe.]**

  
Wade took out his phone again, scrolling through the messages again before putting it back in his pocket with a groan. He leaned back on the bench, stuffing his hands into his hoodie's pocket, and surveyed the area. It was a little louder than usual today, but it always got a little noisy in the afternoon. People come here with their kids, and dogs, friends, and lovers. There was quiet a few runners out today too. With that said, he felt a little uncomfortable; there was just too many people here for his liking. He should have brought his mask.

  
He was starting to feel irritated now. He wasn't comfortable outside, he wasn't comfortable in his own place...Maybe he should go to his other apartment for a while, but he didn't want to run the risk of the shadow finding out where his other safe space was located. He didn't even want to visit Ellie with this thing hanging around him. He didn't even know if it was following him at this very moment. He looked at his shadow beneath his feet and stomped his foot before kicking a rock, aggravated.

  
He didn't know what to do, had nowhere else to go until he had to go back home. Maybe he could drop that shadow off on Bob. He laughed at the thought.

  
**[He's too much of a man-child. It feels illegal to let that thing even look at him.]**

  
His stomach growled. He hadn't had much of an appetite lately. And when he did, he just ended up laying on his couch. He would never think that he'd feel as guilty as he did, but he was in too deep now and couldn't get out. With his stomach rumbling and a large group of runners headed his way, he dipped the bill of his hat, pulled his hood forward a bit more, and stood to exit the park.

  
He looked at his feet while he walked, more in though than not wanting to grab anyone's attention. He soon found himself outside the restaurant he had invited Peter to before. Taking a glance through the window, it didn't seem as crowded as he thought it would be for lunch time, which he was fine with. He stepped in and took a quick look around. He gave a light whistle, "Wow, this place is pretty spotless."

  
**[For now.]**

  
**(Poor saps haven't had us as a customer yet!)**

  
A small woman walked up to the front door where Wade stood, her voice high and cheery, "Hello sir--" her voice hiccuped once Wade turned to looked at her, before she regained her composure, "Ah, would you like me to show you to your seat?"

  
Her pause didn't go unnoticed, but Wade was too hungry to get into her face about it. She was cute, but not cute enough for him to just let it slide on a good day. He instead tipped his hat slightly with a nod. He avoided eye contact with her, knowing that his yellow glazed eyes weren't something anyone wanted to stare into.

  
**[This whole Spidey thing has your self-consciousness lower that usual. It's a little annoying.]**

  
"Great! Please follow me!" She grabbed a menu and he followed and she placed it onto a small square table near the center of the establishment. She blinked up at Wade when he didn't take his seat and instead stood there, looking around the room. "Is there a problem sir? Would you like a different spot?"

  
"Can I have that booth by the window?"

  
She took a moment to think, "Well, yes, you may. Yes! No worries!" She guided him over to his desired table and jotted down his drink for the waitress and bid him a good day. She stared in Wade's eyes a little _too_ much, like she was concentrating _way_ too hard to treat him like a human and not notice his scars. It just made him feel like she noticed them all the more.

  
He leaned back against his seat, shoulders slumped and took out his phone again, flicking through the messages.

  
**[You are obsessed. I think we need to have a meeting.]**

  
**(I think that he should just stop being a god damn pussy and text the bae.)**

  
**[That too.]**

  
The waitress brought his drink to the table and introduced herself before asking him if he was ready to order. Wade didn't acknowledge her in the slightest, he didn't even hear her 'I'll give you more time to think it over' as he continued to give his phone a hard staredown. He leaned his head on the table, tapping his screen. His appetite was suddenly lost and he was tired. Just the smell of the restaurant was making him queasy. The boxes were right. He needed to man-up. He didn't have to tell Peter what's been going on with him, but he could just respond to him at least.

  
_< Wade> Hey_

  
Wade waited anxiously for a few minutes with no response, not that he was surprised. He also wouldn't be surprised if Spidey didn't answer at all.

  
_< Wade> U patroling 2nite?_

  
He waited again, and this time when the waitress can back he glared at her and shook his head slowly. She took the hint and backed away with a nervous smile, hands up in surrender, "J-Just...get my attention when you're ready sir." She stuttered before retreating back into the kitchen. He felt irritated now. It was hypocritical, but he couldn't help but get annoyed that Spidey wasn't answering him.

  
_< Wade> R u busy or something?_

  
_ <Wade> Baaaaaaby boooooyyy what are you dooiiinngggg???_

  
_ <Wade> Ok I get that i've been a little shit lately _

  
_ <Wade> AND I GUESS IM SORRY AND STUFF_

  
_ <Wade> So answer me plllleeaaasseeeeeeee_

  
_ <Wade> R U MAD AT ME BABY BOY I SAID I WAS SORRY OK_

  
_ <Wade> U know what?_

  
_ <Wade> If I die you r gunna feel SOOOOooooo guilty!!_

* * *

  
"Just answer it!"

  
Peter tensed, regretting bringing his phone, and quickly fished it out of his pocket to stop it's chime, "Sorry, Sorry!" He put it on vibrate and placed it on the table.

  
Gwen rolled her eyes and crossed her arms as she leaned back in her seat. "You've said that a lot recently, yet you don't seem to do anything about it."

  
"Sorry." He repeated before wincing at his own words. He looked up at Gwen, phone in hand, "I really am Gwen, you know that...I don't know what else you want me to do."

  
She stared at him hard. It was a few weeks since Peter had seen his girlfriend, and he was really glad that she had agreed to meet with him. Through text, it seemed like she had calmed her rage down a lot, but it was still hard to have a non-heated conversation in-person. His smile, his touches, and even his soft toned voice seemed to put her off. He was doing his best to be as passive as possible, especially knowing that he was to blame for the situation they were in.

  
"I don't know Peter! I don't know--I just-!" Gwen huffed and rested her elbows on the table, their silverware clattering. "I'm just---I'm _irritated_!"

  
Peter looked down at the table, feeling ashamed, "I know."

  
"I'm irritated that I'm lonely! I'm irritated that I'm _irritated_!"

  
"I know Gwen, I'm sorry, alright? I'm trying to do better okay? It's just really hard right now with everything going on."

  
" _I KNOW_ Peter! And _that's_ what irritates me too! Because I know it's...augh.." She rested her head in her hands, silently contemplating.

  
Peter watched as her silky hair fell off of her shoulder. No matter what kind of mood she was in, she always seemed to put Peter in a stupor with her beauty. Even so, he hated to see her like this, so upset, and he felt like he wasn't trying hard enough to make her happy. He reached over and took one of her hands in his and rested it on the table, rubbing gentle circles over her soft skin with his thumb. "Gwen, hey. Just tell me what you need me to do. I cant stop working jobs if I want to pay my rent. I can't quit school or stop patrolling either...but I'll do whatever I can to make us work. I just want you to be happy, Gwen. I don't like to see you like this."

  
Gwen looked at their hands, refusing to look up at Peter as he spoke. Eventually, she took a deep breath and her shoulders sagged as she exhaled. She turned her hand over and held her boyfriend's hand before looking up to meet his eyes, "I know...and that's what makes me angry, because I know it's not your fault but I don't know who else to blame. I know you're trying your best but I feel like it's not enough and--I don't know. It's just hard, you know? I know you gotta do school and work, but maybe take an extra day off or...or don't patrol so late? You don't have to patrol every single night Peter." She rubbed her thumb against the fabric of his shirt that covered his wrist. She noticed that he physically stilled with a sharp breath and stopped her motions. Giving him an apologetic look before sighing, she asked, "At least take some time off for me? I miss you. Sometimes I feel like...like we arent even in a relationship anymore, you know? I just--"

  
Peter tensed once again, not liking where this conversation was going, "Okay!" He interrupted her quickly and she jumped a little at her outburst, "Okay. I said I would, and I meant it. I'll do whatever I can for you Gwen. I'll ask for some days off, I'll even mark the calender in advance for whatever work i find." He tightened his grip on her hand, "Just, give me another chance to make it up to you?" He gave her a small, nervous smile before bringing her fingers to his lips and giving them a light kiss.

  
Gwen couldn't help but smile. She sighed with a tilt of her head, "Jeeze, you sap." She gave a small laugh through her nose before she poked the tip of Peter's with her finger, "Like I wouldn't give you another chance."

  
Peter smiled brightly, "Gwen--AUGH!" Peter was suddenly pelted in the back of his head with what looked like a ketchup bottle.

  
"HEY! Can you two lovebirds keep it down and swap cooties in _silence_?? Some of us are trying to wallow in misery over here!"  
Gwen stood up and reached over to rub Peter's head, "Oh my God Peter, are you alright??"

  
"Y-yeah, it mostely just startled me. I'll be fine." He looked behind him, seeing a man in a red hood and black baseball cap snicker in a booth off to the side of the restaurant. Peter just rolled his eyes and shook his head before looking back at Gwen--or he _would_ if she was still around. He looked over his shoulders and saw Gwen walking up to the man, ketchup bottle in hand, and slammed it on his table. _This was bad._

  
" _REALLY?_ How would _you_ like it if _I_ threw this at you for no reason, huh? Do you feel how heavy this thing is? You could have really hurt him!"  
"Oh, you mean I didn't? Well, damn, my bad."

  
_Shit this was bad_. Today was not the day he wanted to deal with any confrontations. He stood up and made his way over to Gwen, taking her gently by the arm, "Come on Gwen. It's not worth a fight, let's just--"

  
She ripped her arm from Peter's grasp, "And just let this turd get away with thinking it's alright to treat people like that? He could at _least_ apologize!"

  
Peter looked over to the man, face hidden beneath his hood but he was clearly glancing at Gwen. He skin seemed...rough and tight. Peter couldn't tell if he was just an older man or if he just needed lotion.

  
" _You_ should apologize ya tramp! I was just sitting here, minding my own business and feelin' sorry for myself. Then _you_ had to try and 1-up me with your stupid girl problems, then be all gross and lovey dovey like your life is just peachy. It was really distracting. How the hell am I supposed to even get an appetite with that mess?"

  
"Well _excuse_ ME for breathing!" She retorted, and the man looked at Peter and laughed,

* * *

  
"I think you should apologize to everyone in your life." Wade lifted his head slightly, getting a better look at the girl. She looked familiar, but he didn't know why.

  
**(You think we fucked her before or something?)**

  
**[I think we'd remember that God _awful_ voice]**

  
He looked at the boy that stood with her, he looked nervous and defeated, and like a total nerd.

  
**(WOAH. How did we not notice him before??)**

  
**[The hoodie blocks our peripheral vision.]**

  
**(He's like, a total twink! I usually like way more muscle on the dudes but hey, I can dig it!)**

  
He really _was_ attractive, and Wade looked down to his table before the younger man's eyes could meet his own. He looked at his phone and began to text with a snarky laugh. "I feel sorry for you dude. You could do so much better. Maybe you could even find a girl to date instead of this _troll_."

  
The blondie gasped, "Who are you calling a _troll!_? Have you looked in a mirror at any point in your life?!" She shrieked, earning looks from multiple guests in the restaurant. "I've never met someone so--so _rude_!!" In her anger, her grip on the bottle tightened and a stream of ketchup squirted out into the hooded man's face. "Oops." She stared at the mess she made, looking sincerely shocked, seeing Wade's equally stunned face. 

* * *

  
Peter froze, "Gwen!" He reached out and grabbed the bottle from her hand and set the bottle on the both's seat. It looked like the man's gaze bore into Gwen's soul, eyes strange with a yellow film glossing over them, making it very difficult to see his irises. His face was covered in so much red it was hard to see any details on his face.

  
"Sorry! I-I didn't _mean_ to! If he wasn't being so rude I wouldn't have gotten so mad! It's his fault for starting all this! He could have hurt you Peter!"

  
Unknown to the odd couple, the now red faced man flinched when he heard the boy's name, as if it startled him.

  
"I know, both of you guys--just never mind." He looked to the man, eyebrows knitted, "I can't say you didn't deserve that, because you did. But," He watched the man ignore the napkins on his table and wipe off a big chunk of ketchup off of his face with the palm of his hand. It made Peter scrunch his nose. "We didn't come here to cause trouble, ok? You can continue wallowing in your self-pity alone as you were."

* * *

  
Wade watched the boy tug at his girlfriend's arm and turn to leave as he then stood up. "Naw, it was my fault." He admitted in an all to not sincere tone of voice. "I should have just ignored you or something right?" He slapped a ketchup filled hand against the back of the blonde girl's head and rubbed it in. "Sorry for all that. My bad. I forgive you for your actions too."

  
She screeched and Peter shoved him back, " _Dude_ , what the hell?" He pushed Gwen to stand behind him as she began to have a little freakout, "What's your problem?"

  
**[I like this kid. He's got _bite_.]**

  
**(Not to mention an angry face that's almost _feral_! It's super fucking hot!)**

  
**[I'd love to see that face before make-up sex.]**

  
"Aw, don't worry sweety." Wade patted Peter's cheek, leaving a red splatter on his face, I didn't forget about you~"

  
"AUGH!!" The brunette let out a groan of frustration and quickly wiped his cheek with his sleeve and gave a hard glare to the mans back as he walked out of the restaurant.

  
"What a _jerk_!!" Gwen shrieked as she stomped her foot and she could hear the man cackle out the door. "Unbe _lievable_!!"

* * *

  
It was later that night that Peter checked his phone. He was laying on his bed with Gwen sleeping, using his arm as a pillow. They had a pretty hectic day, and it took all he had to be the voice of reason and calm Gwen down, even though he was also aggravated. They ended up getting mad together and ended up laughing about the whole situation at the restaurant. It was silly, and they laughed at how hysterical their faces were at the time and, they laughed while Peter washed Gwen's hair out in the sink, and they laughed at how unbelievable the man's actions were by throwing the ketchup bottle at Peter's head and getting mad at _them_ for making up to each other. It was so ridiculous that laughing was all they _could_ do in the end.

  
He had a bunch of texts from Wade. He kept his phone on vibrate and out of view while he was with Gwen so he missed them. Gwen snuggled up to him as he read Wade's desperate attempts at contacting him. He snorted at how the man thought he was upset at him and apologizing. If Peter was honest, he was a little put down by Wade's responses or lack thereof, and he knew he shouldn't have been, so it just ended up making him irritated at himself. They weren't friends, but Peter didn't hate texting him. He realized after a while that it was weird, _really_ weird, but he was feeling so low during that time that he couldn't help it. It made him feel better.

  
He should never have given Wade his number, but he felt that it was important at that time. He should have _known_ that the man would abuse his power. Wade--Deadpool-- is a mercenary. Sure, he does some good things here and there, but Peter knows is just to impress him, rather than good for the sake of doing the right thing. Wade killed people for money. He killed people that might have families, siblings, or lovers whose lives are now ruined because of him. He's not defending people who've done evil deeds, but he is defending that no one has a right to take anyone's life like that.

  
That thought made him feel put off. It was one of the very big reasons he didn't trust the man. He could never trust a _murdere_ r. He already lost a very important person in his life to a someone like that, and it pissed him off that Wade could smile, and laugh about it, and wipe it away like it wasn't a big deal to kill someone.

  
Still, he found himself texting the man and reading his responses, just for now, because he kept telling himself that it was just to make himself feel better and wasn't an actual bonding session. Peter looked at his messages,

  
_< Wade> Goddddd have u evr like, hated ppl just b/c they were happy? Like, its so annoying rite???_

  
_ <Wade> AUGH THEY R SO LOUD I CAN BARELY HEAR MYSELF THINK N' THATS IMPRESSIVE_

  
_ <Wade> I think we shud ttly patrol tonite_

  
_ <Wade> TEAM-UP!! TEAM RED!! except without that other guy w/the horns hes a douche amirite?_

  
_ <Wade> Have u evr wondered if the color red was actually blue 2 someone else? Like how do we know the colors we see r all the same? Maybe the sky is actually purple 2 someone else but 2 them purple is blue_

  
_ <Wade> Why do ppl always think that we look alike it doesnt make sense no one evr thinks ur me! Wuts up w/that???_

  
Peter laughed under his breath, trying not to disturb Gwen. What was up with this guy? He always seemed to say the first thing that popped up in his head, and it was always so dumb that Peter found it amusing, and rather innapropriate, at times. How did Wade even have enough time to constantly text so much? He was out on missions a lot doing...mercenary things, but Wade _did_ seem the type to text even in the face of danger.

  
_< Baby Boy> You talk a lot._

  
He reached over to place his phone on his side table but it vibrated in his hand.

  
_ <Wade> I cant help it i have a lot 2 say!! no1 is around 2 hear all the interesting things i have to say so ur lucky that u even get the chance!_

  
Peter rolled his eyes and laughed, his chest vibrating, bouncing Gwen's head up and down after she snuggled to rest her head under his chin. She groaned and blinked her eyes, but Peter ran his fingers through her light strands of hair and pat her head to help lull her back to sleep.

  
_< Baby Boy> I'm the luckiest woman on the planet._

  
_ <Wade> HAHA! Baby boy's got jokes! who wudda known u cud b funny?_

  
_ <Baby Boy> I'll have you know that I've got a PhD from Clown School_

  
_ <Wade> WOW thats impressive! and here i thought i was just dealing with a low-level clown_

  
_ <Baby Boy> It's said that people usually see themselves in others._

  
_ <Wade> BACK HANDED COMPLIMENT!! That's low even for a doctor clown!_

  
_ <Wade> if i wanted a low blow i would have come over in my sexy plumber outfit_

  
That was totally inappropriate! It was disgusting! It was sexual harassment! It was expected of someone like _Wade_ , and even so Peter was surprised. So surprised in fact, that he let out one, loud, sharp laugh that scared Gwen awake. The top of her head accidentally rammed against his chin so hard that he bit his tongue hard enough to bleed.

* * *

  
Wade laughed out loud when Peter messaged him about how he bit his tongue laughing. Good, this was good. He _felt_ good messaging Spidey again. His mind could focus on that rather than other depressing things. Though, when Peter took too long to respond, his mind went on overdrive.

  
**[He's distracted by something.]**

  
**(Or some _one_!!)**

  
**[You think he knows?]**

  
**(Probably! Like damn we should be ashamed right?)**

  
**[No, not us. Just the big guy.]**

  
**(HHAHA RIGHT! He's got no self-worth, let alone gives a damn about anyone else! Typical _Wade_ ~)**

  
**[Yeah, almost makes you feel bad even for the fake Spidey.]**

  
**(At least fake Spidey really doesn't expect us to be good guys! Dodged a bullet there!)**

  
Wade's grip on his phone tightened and his smile faltered in the corner, twitching as he tried to keep it up.

  
**(Killing is WAY too much fun!)**

  
**[And we're good at it.]**

  
**(Getting payed to play is the best kind of job! We don't need no man, we're a strong independent woman!)**

  
**[Easy there.]**

  
**(Just sayin', There's no point in changing for someone that will never love you.)**

  
_ <Baby Boy> Welp. Night ruined. Thanks for that._

  
It was an obvious joke, Wade knew it was, but that coupled with what the voices were saying made it seem like anything _but_.

  
_ <Wade> Hahaa wut can I say? Its wut im good @_

  
He didn't want to talk anymore. He just wanted to sleep. He just wanted to get away for a while, somewhere where there was no shadows and no hot dudes.

  
**(BLASPHEMY!!)**

  
**[We know a place you can go. At least she likes when you visit.]**

  
Wade looked up from his phone from where he sat atop the closed lid of the toilet seat, at saw his reflection in the mirror. He was completely naked, letting his sores air out, and had the bath tub's water running. His face twisted in a sour look before he looked away from his reflection, and stood up to grab the loaded gun that was resting atop the corner of the sink.

  
**(Attaboy!)**

  
The scarred man turned off the faucet to the tub and settled down into the tub, eyes tracing along the cracks of the ceiling. He wondered if he was addicted to dying. It hurt like hell, but it felt good once it happened. It really was like a drug, which sucked because those didn't have any effect on him, but honestly there was no amount of cocaine and alcohol that would be able to make him feel as good as a bullet to the head. Some people see fairies when they're high, and he got to see a hot skeleton babe when he died. He was okay with that.

  
His phone that he left on the toilet seat toned, and he tapped the gun in his hand against the side of tub. He didn't look to see what the message could have said and instead just raised the gun to rest under his chin. He could check it later.


	8. Fucked up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade comes clean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first off let me just say there might be MANY typos that I didn't catch because I wrote this mostly on my phone haha, so I apologize for that!
> 
> I got surgery recently and am still healing, so I'm sorry for the long wait, and thank you SO much for your patience! I hope the length of this chapter can compensate for that!
> 
> Kudos and Comments go a long way! It will help me continue to make more great chapters for you all! (:

Things weren't right. Things were _weird_.

Peter had seen Wade while out on patrol, and once Wade would spot him, the mercenary would just take off. Fast. At first he thought that maybe Wade didn't notice him. But it happened about three more times till Peter started to text him about it.

_< Baby Boy> Uuhhhh, do you keep running away from me?_

_< Baby Boy> Scratch that. WHY do you keep running away from me?_

_< Baby Boy> Is this some weird game of Hide-and-Seek you got going on? I'm NOT gunna chase you._

He never got a response. If this was a stupid Deadpool game, he wasn't going to give in to it. He just probably wanted attention---by...running away from it. Okay, that made sense for a second. Peter did start to have a bad feeling though, like the man was up to something that he didn't want the hero to find out about. Peter had a feeling that Deadpool had taken up a new killing job in the city and he didn't want Spider-man to get in the way, and that was the thought that made Peter on edge. It made him want to chase after the man, to keep him from killing anyone in his city. He had a duty to protect people, no matter the reason. The law would handle people's fate, no one deserved to die, no matter what.

Peter rubbed at his wrist as he sighed and looked up to the graying sky of New York City. He was lost in thought, and keeping out of sight while in his suit. He didn't want the media telling of his whereabouts right now, that would give Wade the upper hand and know were not to go in fear of running into him. He just wanted a break. It seemed like one after another when it came to his stress lately. In school he had so many papers due, at work he wasn't taking enough degrading pictures of Spider-man or writing anything interesting enough for the columns, as Spider-man...things were just weird and confusing, and with Gwen, things were better than before, but it was here and there with the ups and downs. There was just always something. Even now, Harry was acting odd, moody, and it was putting a strain on his relationship with MJ. He didn't know how to help, he wasn't as good as them with helping people out emotionally.

Aunt May was getting less hours  at work and she had to end up getting a second job, and it broke his heart that someone her age had to do that. She had to work at odd hours, but no matter how tired she was, she always managed to send him a text, or call, or invite him over for lunch or dinner. He wanted to help her, make sure she was comfortable and worry free. He wished he could just pay for all her expenses, but he could barely pay rent for his small apartment. The last time he visited, he saw a stack of bills on the table, and he managed to sneak two of them in his pocket without her knowing and paid for them. He had to beg for some extra money from work to make up for it, but it was worth the embarrassment.

His thoughts were broken when he saw a smudge of red and black in the distance hopping on the rooftops. He stood up from his position on the roof of an abandoned warehouse and immediately shot his web in pursuit. He made sure to keep low when he landed on a rooftop, and keep to the lower buildings. Followed carefully, he ended up at a rundown looking apartment building, sticking to the wall of the adjacent building. Why did Deadpool stop here? Was this where he was going to take out his target? This place seemed shady enough for that. He'd never even been to this part of the city before; he never had a reason. The spider kept his eyes on the many dingy windows, looking for any movements before swinging and landing on the stairs to the fire escape.

Peter kept himself crouched, shamefully peeking into each window he had the pleasure of passing by. He was a little scared of the kind of tenants he'd see living in this place, but he pressed on until he reached one with a familiar, loud voice resonating behind the dirtied glass window. Peering in from the corner, he couldn't really make out the muffled words being said, but it really seemed that the red and black clad man was talking to someone. The only problem was, Peter didn't see anyone in the apartment. He took a chance and tried to open the window slightly, but found that it was nailed shut. Great.

What was Wade saying? Who was he even _talking_ to? The way his body was tensed, and his fists were clenched as he stomped around, made it clear that the merc was _pissed_. That was dangerous, especially if he was on the hunt for a bounty. Maybe Wade was pissed because his target wasn't home? If that was the case, was he going to just hang out in the place until the owner came home? Peter couldn't just leave and let Deadpool take someone's life, but what should he do then? Should he just sit out here, while the sky looked like it would rain at any minute? He could just bust in and stop Deadpool before he even got the chance, but he didn't know what kind of target he'd be dealing with, and he didn't want to take any risks yet.

The place was a dump, and he could swear that a dank smell was coming from the cracks of the sealed window, it was making his headache. The walls were covered in stains and ripped wallpaper, the floors didn't look any better, the furniture was torn to pieces, and there was all kinds of food and trash littered about. Who could live like this? If Wade didn't get to kill the target, he was sure the mold would. It was disgusting.

So he sat there and waited, watching as the man went through his anxious movements like he was filled with so much energy that he didn't know what to do with himself. He would yell, flail his arms around, invade the fridge and eat a disgusting amount of food that made Peter full just by watching. He even watched as the man kicked off his boots and made himself at...home. Huh, for someone taking a hit, Deadpool seemed very at ease. Was this his apartment? Peter examined the small details of the place. The food wrappers were from a few different familiar Mexican restaurants, and a lot of the stains on the walls and floors looked like a sickly red. Wade seemed to know where everything was as he rummaged through the cabinets and drawers. The mess and smell was starting to make sense now.

It was weird though, that even in his own place, not once did Deadpool attempt to take off his mask, only halfway to eat. It made him a little curious. So then, if this was Wade's place, and he wasn't on a man-hunt, then why was he acting so strange? Peter wished that he brought his phone to catch him in the act of ignoring him, but he didn't have any pockets and he'd rather not shove it into his spandex.

Peter watched as Wade snoozed on the couch, and he could swear that he could hear the man's loud snoring through the glass. The man was played out, arms and legs in awkward positions, and Peter knew that even though Wade was passed out, the man could kill someone in the blink of an eye. It was a little scary how harmless he could seem at times.

Just then, a loud boom of thunder wracked through Peter's body, the bass startled him enough to yell and crash forward into the closed window, making it rattle loudly. Deadpool was up in an instant and his guns were out, pointed straight at Peter's face.

"Woah woah! Deadpool it's _me_!" He put his hands up in surrender, showing he was unarmed, "Don't shoot!"

Wade's shoulders slumped, "What--It's _daytime_! You never come at daytime!"

Peter gave the man a confused look under his mask, "...What?"

"I'm not in the mood today! Can't you go fuck off somewhere else? I _really_  don't want to deal with your shit right now!"

"...Dude. What is _wrong_ with you all of a sudden?"

"Really?? _REALLY_??" Deadpool waved his gun at Peter, making him raise his hands higher in nervousness, "You come around here acting like everything is hunky dory when you know it's not! You know i fucking hate you and don't wanna be messin' with you, but you always come around here and fuck with me head!" He poked his temple with his gun so roughly that it made Peter wince, "I've already got _two_ fuckin guys up here messin' with me! I don't need _you_ to, too!"

Peter was confused, what the hell was Wade going on about? The sky grew darker and another boom of thunder shook through him, which was followed by a few droplets of rain, "Deadpool--I really really don't know what you're talking about-"

" _What_? You can't say my name now? You do that a lot you know? Say a bunch of fuckin' sweet shit, then called me Deadpool in such a condescending voice like the sick fuck you are! I don't want to deal with your shit!"

"Hey--"

" _NO_!" Deadpool ran up to the window, smashing his gun through the glass. The barrel pressed right against Peter's chest. His hand was bloody and there was glass sticking into the suit of his arm which didn't seem to bother him in the slightest. Peter could feel himself shaking at the sudden outburst, "You don't get to say _SHIT_! I want to shoot you so fucking bad. I want to see your fucking brain splatter  across my window! Do you know what you're fucking doing to me!?" The merc shoved the gun harder against the spider's chest.

"D-Deadpool-- _WADE_! Don't shoot! _Please_! I just--I just--You've been outright ignoring me lately and I thought maybe you were up to something so I followed you here! God--" He tried to stop the quiver in his voice. What could he do right now? If he made any move with his web shooters, Wade would shoot him dead-on. He didn't want to beg to this man, but what other choice did he have? He didn't even know what had gotten him so enraged! " _Please_ don't shoot me, Wade."

He heard Wade growl through the pattering of the rain, and he saw his grip tighten on the gun. He was blind with rage and Peter didn't know what he could do to stop it, he wasn't even sure if he was breathing anymore. "I-I'll leave. I'll go." His heart was beating so hard against his chest that he could hear it pounding in his ears. "Just put the gun down, Wade. I won't bother you, I wont text you anymore--I'll leave and we don't have to communicate again--"

The gun went off and Peter screamed more in alarm than in pain. The shock of it numbed him as he looked to his right shoulder, blood pouring out from a fresh bullet wound. He doubled over and clenched his shoulder, letting out a shuttered sob that was followed by a loud, long groan.

* * *

 

Wade froze. There was blood, real blood coming out of the hero's shoulder and Wade knew instantly that he fucked up. The younger man screamed in pain and curled in on himself, gripping to his shoulder.

"....Spidey?"

**(HOLY SHIT! YOU SHOT THE REAL SPIDER-MAN!)**

**[Wow. You really are just the _worst_ kind of person.)**

**(HAHA! I'm laughing cause like, what are the odds! Like, that sucks, but _WOW_!)**

Wade quickly pulled his arm back through the window and tossed his gun to the floor. He opened the window and stepped out onto the fire escape, kneeling next to his hero in a panic, " _Fuckfuckfuckfuck_! Spidey! I'm sorry! I thought you were someone else! I didn't know it was you!" He got a groan in response and stepped back through his window, "Here! I got ya!" He reached out his arms and Spider-man leaned forward to be guided to the window, "Careful." Wade pulled the man inside, making sure not to jostle him too much, and carried him bridal style. He was sure if the hero was capable of normal speech patterns at the moment he'd object, but Wade was able to lay him down on his couch, wincing as he hissed in pain.

 

"God Dammit..." Wade kneeled beside Spidey and reached over to move the hero's hand from his shoulder and examine the wound. "Shit. Okay, hold on, I'm gunna turn you around a bit." He turned Spidey over, trying to ignore his painful protests before laying him back flat on his back. "Fuck it didn't even go all the way through! But it was such a close shot!" Wade stood up and started to pace, "Fuck Spidey! Why'd you have to follow me home?? If you wanted to hang out you shoulda just called first! _Shitshitshit_ this is bad!"

 

The spider watched the larger man pace with his fists clenching at the mask on his head. "Auuughh...J-Just  _do_ something!" Spider-man was able to say through gritted teeth.

"Do WHAT?! I don't know what to do--well, I know what I _can_ do--but I don't know how to do first-aid on a _normie_! I don't _need_ first-aid! I just heal fast!"Wade was obviously freaking out more than the victim was, and it wasn't helping the situation at all.

" _LET'STAKEYOUTOTHEHOSPITAL_!!" Wade blurted out and his hero froze. He could tell that he was shot a dark look even with the spider mask on,

" _NO_! No doctors, no _hospitals_! No one can--Augghh--know who i am!" Peter panted out.

"Okay, then I'll  drop you off at the Avengers Towe--"

"No! Not there either! I can't let them see me like this.." it was true, because if Tony and Pepper found out Deadpool had _shot_ him, he'd never hear the end of it after his whole 'I'm not a child and I can hang out with whoever I want to' speech.

"Well I don't know what to do! I never healed anyone before!"

"Well think of something!! This is  your fault!!" Peter winced and groaned loudly and let out a sound that was close to a sob.

" _Okayokay!_ Hold on Spidey! I'll fix this!!" Wade rushed off to his bathroom looking in the mirror. He had some meds when he tried to see if he could actually overdose (he couldn't), and grabbed a few bottles before heading to his room and rummaging in the kitchen right after.

Peter had never been shot before, he'd somehow managed to avoid it. He'd honestly rather have cracked ribs, or a fractured elbow, or broken pelvis rather than this--well, maybe a broken hip rather than pelvis. Peter could barely open his eyes, but he could hear Wade cursing and making loud noises as he looked for materials. It felt like a God damn eternity before he came back.

"Okay I got some stuff!" The merc knelt down beside the couch and dropped the items to the floor before running back to the kitchen to get something else before returning. "Okay, we gotta get you to sit up."

"I-I can't...It _hurts_!"

"Yeah, getting shot hurts. It's not something you can get used to, believe me, I get shot on almost a daily basis." He scooted closer to the couch "C'mon, I'll help you up." He took Spider-man's arm and motioned him up before abruptly dropping him back down on the couch when the hero cried out, startling him. "AH! _Alright_. You need to _not_ do that."

"Screw you, you _psycho_! I told you I can't move! You can't just pull on my arm like that!"

Wade have an internal wince to the name-calling, "Yeah well, _fuck you_! I'm trying to _help_ you!"

" _This is your fault in the first place_!"

"I said I was _sorry_!"

"Yeah? Well everyone knows that your sorry's mean nothing and have no value! You turn you back on people two seconds later!" Peter gripped tighter to his arm, feeling his blood pool out and pain pierce his nervous system. " _Aughh_!!"

Wade stayed silent as he watched the suited man writhe. He knew that the hero was right. But just cause he did something bad after apologizing, doesn't mean he didn't _mean_ it. Sometimes he _had_  to be an asshole to get things done. But still…

"I'm _trying_ , alright?" His voice was softer than before, "I've _been_ trying. Sometimes it just doesn't stick though." He eyed the shoulder wound, and Spidey's head lolled to the side,

" _Trying_?" He panted, "What you do isn't _trying_ , Deadpool. You....you can't just...do something okay one day, and kill...someone the next." Spider-man struggled  to lift himself into a sitting position, and Deadpool held him steady until he was in a comfortable position.

"Yeah, well." He shrugged, "It's hard when you don't have anyone that believes in you."

Peter was silent, speechless as he watched Deadpool pick up the pill bottles and study them. He felt guilt weigh on him, even through his pain. He didn't know what to say, because he knew what Deadpool said was true.

"Here, you take medicine, right? Which of these do you think is best for pain?" Wade asked as if the heated conversation didn't just happen.

Peter slowly looked to the pills in the mercenary's hands and read the labels, "That...that one in the middle."

Deadpool scanned the bottle, read the instructions "Okay, it says to take two but I think you should take five for that. I don't think that will kill you, but it's you're call."

Peter just nodded and Wade grabbed a cup of water off the floor, "Here, I'm gunna lift your mask just a little so you can take these okay?" Deadpool rolled up the mask, and he noticed Peter flinch when he got up to his nose and decided that was a good place to stop. He then held a pill up to the younger man's mouth, "Say _AAaaah_ ~" Peter just stared at him quietly, his mouth in a tight line, "Here comes the choochoo train~! _Choo Choo_!"

"Deadpool, I can do it myse--"

Peter was cut off as Wade quickly stuffed all five pills into his mouth. His nose was pinched tightly between two large fingers that forced him to open his mouth to breathe. He gagged once the water was forced down his throat and had to swat the glass away from his mouth to continue his coughing fit. He gagged again, then heaved, threatening to throw up, but a hand covered his mouth,

"No Spidey! You're gunna need to keep these in! Believe me, I'd hate to be the guy that cant take pain meds before this--oh, wait. HAHA I AM that guy! And lemme tell you, you _don't_  wanna be me! I dont even wanna be me! Hahaha!"

Peter hacked and inhaled deeply to catch his breath, "Augh! Are you insa--MMPH!!" a cloth was stuffed into his mouth and he glared at Deadpool.

"You're gunna need to stop talking now. This will keep you from biting off a chunk of your tongue."

Peter spit out the dirty cloth as he watched Deadpool open a few bottles of alcohol, regretfully not the kind used to disinfect wounds.

"Okay, I know this is gunna sound totally scummy, given the fact that I'm gay for your rockin, hopefully not underaged bod, but we're gunna have to take off your top. I need to actually see what I'm  working with here." He could see the 'are you fucking crazy?' look that the hero was giving him through his mask, "You can wear your mask! It's not like I wanna SEE the face that goes with those stunning biceps. It ruins the fantasy!"

Peter had to admit that Wade's stupid personality was kind of a relief at the moment. It was better than the awkwardness after the whole shadow incident--but that didn't meant he wasn't pissed about being shot by any means. He hated to admit it, but Deadpool was right.

"You'll have to turn around."

"Whaaaaat? _Why_?? You shy or something?"

"No, you dolt. I can't just lift my top without my mask coming off."

"You can't lift it at all! Not with that shoulder. I'm gunna have to help you."

"Turn _around_ , Deadpool."

Wade smirked and let out a laugh with a shrug. "The pride on you heroes. Like getting help will give you a bad rep or somethin! Just think of me as your sidekick or something! Though, I guess it would be weird to see young Robin dressing Batman's wounds. It would also seem a little illegal."

Peter shook his head to Deadpool's ranting and gave his arm a little sample movement, crying out. Okay, so maybe he COULDN'T do this alone.

"I got an idea!" Wade whipped out a large knife from his side and twirled it around his finger.

" _Woah_ woah! What are you _doing_ with that??"

"You know, Spidey, for a guy in excruciating pain, you sure do talk a lot." He sat on the couch, making Peter's shoulder scrape against the back cushion as he dipped forward slightly,

"Augh, and _you_ need to be more delicate with you patients."

"Oh! I should have worn my nurse outfit! It would make the blood run from your shoulder, straight to the tip of your--"

"ARG! _SHIT_!"

Wade was surprised by the sudden outburst as Peter doubled over in pain. He swayed a bit, and he really needed to get focused, "Okay okay, look, I'm gunna just cut your top off okay? Nothing crazy, just right down the middle and the seams of the arms. It'll be an easy fix for when you go back to your Spider lair.

Peter was in intense pain, and he just gave up at that point, "Just do it!" The words ground out of his mouth between clenched teeth.

Wade carefully  helped Peter turn his back to him and slowly making a cut straight down the back of the costume before going to the arms. Peter shivered at the feeling, thinking that Wade could stab the knife straight through his back if he wanted to. He was vulnerable. He felt Wade's gloved hands glide across shoulder blades with care as he opened the material in search for any kind of injury.

"Damn, it really _is_  in there."

Peter winced when Wade's fingers kneaded a spot on his shoulder. It felt bruised, "Ah--that _hurts_. J-Just get it _out_." He said under his breath.

"I feel it. It's near the surface kinda. This _miiight_ not be so bad for you." Wade complied and turned Peter back to face him, slowly slipping off his cut sleeves, one by one. He then slid the top forward, peeling it off of the younger man. As he finally pulled it from Peter's body, he froze, as if studying something on the man. Peter blinked behind his mask and followed Wade's gaze that landed on his wrists. He tensed, turning his wrists inward, as if he was capable of hiding the shame that was bubbling up inside of him. He didn't look up, he _couldn't_. Wade saw. He saw what he took so much care to hide. Wade had always called him his hero, he must have looked so pathetic right now, not only because he was seen in such a vulnerable way, but because now it was clear that a hero who made it his job to save lives, had tried to take his own. It was pathetic. HE was pathetic. He didn't know what to say, but he could feel Wade's burning stare, making him want to just swing out of here. He didn't need to sit here and be judged by some maniac.

Wade didn't judge though; he didn't say a word. Peter wasn't sure if he was relieved because he was braced, waiting for Wade to just get it over with and tell him what an idiot he was. Tell him that only cowards would take their own life, and that he was weak, or that he was worthless and should have just tried harder to-- " _HOLY FUCK_!!"

His thoughts broke as Wade pressed a damp cloth to his wound. He started to hyperventilate from the pain. Wade had put alcohol onto the cloth (and it looked like an expensive brand), and started to clean the blood away.

"Wow, you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Wade teased as he continued to clean it. He took the bottle, shaking its contents to measure how much was left inside, "Okay, this is gunna hurt like a motherfucker." Deadpool reached over and grabbed the familiar cloth, stuffing it back into Peter's mouth. He took his hero's hands and placed them on his shoulders, "But this is the easy part."

Peter's eyes widened behind his mask and he dug his nails into the man's shoulders as he felt the bottle's contents pour out around, and into, his wound. His scream was muffled but it was clear to hear his sobs when he pressed his forehead to Wade's neck, bracing himself against the pain.

The bottle emptied and Wade kept himself still. Even though this wasn't the type of situation he fantasized about, Spidey was in his arm...and kinda crying? He didn't know what he should do at this moment, he wasn't the world's number one comforter, and they haven't even gotten to the most agonizing part yet. He felt shitty though, that Peter was in pain because of him, he also felt guilty that the hero felt a need to get this close to him to help ease his pain. He put a hand on Peter's good shoulder and rubbed it gently, "I, uh...I know it hurts and, my bad, but it will get better." Wow, that was lame, but what else could he do? He didn't want to make things seem more intimate than they were, no matter how much he wanted to. Spidey's muscles were so tight and tense, Wade could see more definition than the Shadow could ever replicate, and he had to admit, it was an amazing sight. He knew that Peter was in pain, but it was hard not to admire such a perfect body. Hell, it was hard not to trace his fingers along every line his muscles imprinted under his pale skin.

Soon, he saw Peter's shoulders sag and his breathing calmed as the sting went away. It took Peter a moment to loosen his grip on Wade's shoulders, embarrassment radiating from him. He didn't bother lifting his head, and Wade honestly couldn't help thinking that was the cutest fucking thing at that moment. He didn't need to know what Peter looked like to know the man was cute, it was all in his mannerisms.

**[His pain brings us pleasure~]**

**(*romantic sigh*)**

Wade stood  up and made his way to sit behind Peter, letting the hero sit between his legs. "Okay so--WOP!" He reached out and wrapped an arm around the webhead's waist. Peter swayed and leaned forward, eyes fluttering closed. He groaned, feeling weak. "Woah, stay with me Spidey. The meds you took are really gunna knock you the fuck out-- or it's just major blood loss." He pat Peter's stomach, not without noticing how hard his abs were of course, "Either way, stay with me bud, come on. We're halfway done. The bullet is right underneath your skin here, I can dig it out no problem." He carefully let go of Spider-man's waist and reached over to grab the alcohol drenched cloth before wiping his shoulder and placing the tip of his blade against Peter’s skin, "Don’t worry! This wooon’t hurt a bit. Just a _lot_! You ready?" Peter groaned, sounding totally out of it, and hunched over. "That's my boy!"

The last thing Peter remembered before he passed out was Deadpool laughing, exclaiming about how Peter's back was spewing blood like a volcano.

* * *

 

Wade had left to get proper bandages from a corner store, and when he came back into his apartment, Peter was still knocked out on his bed. He had to move him from the couch because it got drenched in blood, sweat, and rainwater. Peter had clenched so tight onto his thighs as he dug out the bullet, that he was sure he had bruises for a moment. Too bad they healed before he could actually check. He had to do everything he could do not pop a boner though. Spidey, squeezing his thighs and moaning, not to mention squirming against his crotch, made it very hard to keep his focus.

He placed the plastic bag on the side table beside his bed and shook off his black hoodie. It was still raining, and he hated wearing his costume in wet situations, so he changed to get a bit more comfortable in casual clothes, but keep his mask on. He looked at the boy in his bed, thin, small blanket covering his lower half, and dressed in a makeshift arm sling made out of worn out shirts.

It was dark outside by this time, and he could tell that Peter was exhausted just by looking at him. Wade took a seat on the bed, elbows resting on his knees, and sighed out as the boxes continued to banter back and forth.

**[You're not going to take advantage of him are you?]**

**(I mean, he basically does already! Has sex with him without him knowing and all.)**

**[I never thought you'd be low enough to actually rap--]**

" _Don't_." Wade hissed out under his breath, gaze burning a hole into the floor, "Don't you fucking _dare_ treat this like the same thing."

**(Well, we're not WRONG, big guy.)**

Wade would _never_ take advantage of someone in that way. Sure he'd grope or steal a smooch, but never force himself on someone. He clenched his fists as the boxes continued.

**[Look at him sleeping there, so vulnerable. He's doped up on meds, he probably won't even remember a thing! It would be so _easy_.]**

**(You can even take off his mask if you wanted! Can you imagine? We could finally have him, the _warm_ version of him. Imagine what a cozy dick warmer he'd be!)**

"You guys are fucking _disgusting_." He murmured.

**[We learn from the best~]**

Wade punched himself in the temple a couple times to rattle his brain a little, wanting the voices to just shut up. He knew he was disgusting, just not in the way they described him as. Just because he had fantasies, and just because he found a way to cope using an illusion, didn't mean he was a danger to anyone in that way, especially not Peter. He wasn't. He _wasn't_. He punched himself one last time as he felt relief with the temporary silence that swept over him.

Wade turned to look at the sleeping man, knowing that he should wake him up, but didn't want to disturb how peaceful he seemed. Was that selfish? He wasn't sure, but he didn't mind the silent company. He hardly used his bed anyway, opting for the couch on most nights. It was more of a place he went to blow his brains out if anything. He couldn't help but to guiltily let his eyes wander over the bare chest in front of him. As Peter breathed, his muscles expanded and contracted, and Wade thought it was beautiful. His skin was so fair and smooth even with the bruises from battle, and his nipples, even though the boy was shivering a bit, seemed so soft. He wanted to brush a hand across that chest just to feel them, and to feel how fast his heart was beating compared to his own right now. Peter breathed softly through the most tempting, kissable lips he’d ever seen on any man, and--he had to pull Peter’s mask down all the way just to keep himself at bay.

It was his fault Peter was here, in pain. Sure, he and Spider-man used to always beat the shit out of each other when they first met, but after a while, after Wade noticed his feelings growing for the spider, it went down a notch. He didn't want to purposefully cause Peter pain like this, especially when he mistook him for that damn shadow. How the fuck did he even manage to mistake the two?? In daytime even!

**[Because you're unstable.]**

**(Because you're _retarded_.)**

He was stressed, so stressed that it was making him blind. He was such a god damn fuck up. He could have _killed_ Peter if he was just a few inches over with the barrel. Peter, out of everyone in this damn city, he was the one that deserved to live most. He reached over and grabbed his hero's wrist gently. "Damn..." calloused fingers traced the pattern the scars made around those thin wrists. He never imagined that the hero was suicidal, but why? He had the most well known name in this city! Girls wanted him and guys wanted to be him. He was friends with the Avengers and was in the papers every Sunday (even if it was only to slander him on false pretenses), and...people _loved_ him. It hurt to think that there was a dark, hidden reason why Peter was depressed enough to try to take his own life.

**[Just cause he cuts, doesn’t mean he’s trying to straight up _kill_  himself.]**

**(Maybe he’s just super kinky and _likes_ the pain! What a catch!)**

It was then that he realized that he really knew absolutely nothing about Peter at all. These scars weren't new, but he could see scratch marks along his wrists as if they still bothered the hero. "What the hell, Baby Boy...?"

* * *

 

Peter was cold. He shivered as his eyes fluttered open, vision blurred and eyes staring up as a dirty, stained ceiling. He felt a tug on his wrist, and through the haze he saw a large male figure touching him. He was being touched while laying flat on his back on a strange bed and he took in a few, large, panicked breaths before quickly sitting up with a shout and shoving the figure back with as much strength as his injured shoulder would let him.

“Hey woah woah Spidey! Wait!” Wade stood up to grab Peter by the arm as the boy rolled off the bed. The boy tried to dash off but as the medicine was still coursing through his system, his knees buckled and Wade pulled him up before his face smashed to the ground. Peter struggled in his grasp in a way that looked frantic, like a cat trying to scramble out of, “Dude!  Spidey! Calm down, it’s just me! You’re gunna ruin my patchwork!” Spidey’s muscles were tense, even as he stilled to look at Wade. He stayed silent, fists clenched, “If you’re worried, I put my gun away. I didn’t look under your mask either!”

Gun? Suddenly there was a stinging in his shoulder as his memory was suddenly coming back to him. Right, Deadpool...this was WADE. This wasn’t...this wasn’t HIM. It was just Wade. He almost wanted to laugh at how stupid he had been just now, or maybe just laugh out of relief. That feeling went away quickly though as he noticed Wade’s fingers were wrapped around his wrist. Roughly pulling his arm out of the hold, Peter flopped back down on the bed without the support and quickly placed his hand on his injured shoulder.

Neither men made a sound as Wade stood in front of Peter, both looking away in the opposite direction. Peter’s eyes went down to his wrist and noticed that there was some kind of white substance coating it. What the hell was it? Wade must have noticed his questioning stare and spoke up,

“I was, uh, just putting some stuff on it.”

Peter lifted his head to see Wade waving a small white container in his hand before looking back down at his wrist. He flinched when he felt the bed give way as Deadpool sat down beside him.

“Your scars looked irritated, and this stuff really helps with that.”

Peter’s gaze focused on the hands holding the container and he felt his wrist suddenly burn. Wade’s hands were completely covered in scars and sores, just like the lower half of his face, If Peter remembered correctly. It looked extremely painful considering the wounds looked fresh, and he could see a wet shine on the surface of them. Wade held out one of those hands without a word, and for some reason, with a hint of hesitation, Peter held his arm out to him. Wade took it and continued his earlier ministrations of rubbing the contents of the container onto his wrist. He felt the rough fingers glide along the bumps of his scars and it made him want to automatically pull his arm away, but instead he just tensed.

He looked away before shrugging his shoulder, “...so you did this yourself?” he asked, motioning to his sling and Deadpool laughed,

“You shoulda seen it before! It was made out of shirts before I bought the bandages!” The scarred man rubbed his thumbs into his wrist and chuckled with a shake of his head, “You passed out pretty much instantly. Almost made me cut out more than I needed to! Wait till you see my couch! I guess that I deserve it though for shooting you, so I won't hold it against you. Red is my favorite color so it works out anyway.”

“....you must think I’m pathetic.” Peter said under his breath, though the room was so quiet that it was impossible not to hear it. It was said so suddenly, that Wade wasn’t sure if anything he said was even heard. When the older man didn’t respond right away, he felt the eyes of judgement upon him. He tugged his arm back but Deadpool kept in in place and began to wrap a bandage around it.

“Spidey, you save people on a daily basis. You risk your life every day just so other people can live theirs. You’re a genuinely good person. The only thing I think is that you’re a hero.” This caught Peter’s attention. It was strange how soft those words were spoken, even if Wade couldn’t keep eye contact. Peter knew that he was shitty to Wade most of the time, and even seeing his scars...did he really think that he was a good person? Peter bit his lip,

“..Aren’t you gunna ask?”

Wade shrugged, “Everyone has reasons.” He tied up the loose ends of the bandage and scooted closer to take a hold of Peter’s other arm in the sling, making sure to be gentle with it. “I also know you won't tell me so, why ask? You’re the kind of guy that just keeps everything to himself. You know, I don’t even know your favorite color? Not that I asked, but it’s just to make a point. It’s not just me that doesn’t know what it is right? You’re like this with everyone? You just seem like a super secretive guy, you know?” He shrugged as he began to slowly knead Peter’s wrists, “But you’re a superhero, I get it, secret identity and all that. If I know what color you like, I might kill your family.” He joked, and Peter wasn’t sure if he actually wanted to laugh. “Not gunna lie though, I’m so curious that I could _die_ \--HAHA! Wow, right words at the wrong time!”

Peter kept his gaze on those thick, warm fingers that seemed to pause every now and again as if just to feel his skin against the merc’s own. Wade was right, he did have reasons, but if anyone wanted to know about them, he definitely would have pegged Wade to annoy him until he finally said what they were. He was right about something else, too. He wouldn’t tell him what those reasons were, he _couldn't_. He couldn’t tell some of them to _anyone_. There were things not even his closest friends knew, and there was no way he was going to discuss them with Wade.

The mercenary finished up and put Peter’s arm back in its sling and the hero stared at the patchwork. They didn’t itch like they had been earlier, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of the ointment, or because of the pain in his shoulder. Hell, even though it felt a smidge better, and that he was overloaded on pain meds, he wasn’t sure how he’d fare without going to the hospital. He knew he’d have to keep off duty for a while; he couldn't swing through the city like this. He tried to push aside the randomly nice gesture that Peter was starting to feel was more out of guilt than anything and finally brought his gaze up to Wade’s masked face,

“Why the hell did you shoot me?”

The sudden change in topic and irritation in the boy’s voice clearly startled the merc as he jumped back slightly. And when Wade didn’t answer, Peter felt his irritation grow, any mood was better than the sudden vulnerability he started to feel.

“What did you _mean_ that you thought that I was someone else? Who else could I be?? The only person people _ever_ confuse me with is you! And now I have to explain why I have a _bullet_  hole in my shoulder! What am I supposed to tell people??”

“Tell them...you got shot?”

Peter groaned loudly, “I’m _serious_  Deadpool! You _shot_  me for no reason! I get that I was a bit of a peeping Tom and it looked very very suspicious, but really? You thought I was someone _else_? And you were going on and on about who KNOWS what! You weren’t making ANY sense and you were--” _Scaring me_ , he didn’t want to say, “...just acting really off the handle. You started to ignore me and whenever you saw me you’d run off!”

Deadpool just shrugged like a child and mumbled an “I don't know” under his breath, and that really pissed Peter off,

“ _Stop_ acting like a child and just speak up! Augh!” He wobbled as he stood up on weak legs, “You know what? Fine, you don’t want to talk? Then _don't_. But I’m leaving.”

“Woah _woah_ , Baby boy! Don’t be like that come on!” Deadpool reached out a hand to help steady the younger man and Peter swung his hand to slap it away but missed, vision slightly out of sync. Deadpool caught Peter as he tilted backwards before he hit the ground, “Okay! Okay, just...just don’t get mad, okay?”

“I’m not making any promises.”

“Okay, that's better than a _no._  Here just...sit down.” Wade helped Peter sit back on the bed as Peter then successfully managed to swat the scarred hands away from him. There was a silence, and Wade kept standing, not wanting to be in the same vicinity as Peter when he told him what happened. “So..uh...do you want a drink first or--”

“ _Deadpool_.”

“Okay, alright!”

It was strange seeing the merc act so nervous, and Peter was surprised at the tone of voice that he managed to use against him without the man shooting him again. His personality was really strange, and Peter didn’t feel as nervous around him as usual, even with his top off. He seemed, dare he say it, harmless. Peter kept his hard gaze, _really_ not in the mood for games right now.

“So…” Deadpool finally started up once again, “You uh, you know that whole shadow business?” He paused as if expecting Peter to answer and rubbed the back of his neck, “It’s like...Okay, so you know how I saw him that one time and thought it was you? It’s basically that but the opposite.”

“So you saw me and thought I was the shadow. Even in bright daylight.” Peter deadpanned, “ _How_?? We haven’t seen it for weeks!”

“Well, hahaha that's the funny thing--and you’re gunna laugh so hard--!” Wade let out a loud laughter and slapped his knees, “Cause I did see him! A _lot_! It’s--It’s funny cause its like woah whaaattt? You know? Like, _damn_!”  He wiped a non existent tear from his eye, “Oh man, good times. Anyway, you need help getting home? Cause I can totally--”

“ _Whoa_. Okay, back up. _What_??”

* * *

 

**[You really gunna tell him?]**

**(We wouldn’t do that if we were you!)**

Wade knew this was a bad idea, he _knew_ it was. But Spidey was here in his bed, demanding answers in his doped up state, and Wade was just having a real hard time avoiding the subject. “What, _what_?” he responded. Peter didn’t answer, but Wade noticed the way he clenched his fist and how the muscles in that... _amazing_ looking arm tightened. “Oh, right. _That_. Okay, well, it’s like I said! He--IT has been, uh, visiting.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?? You told me that you haven’t seen it!”

“Well I didn’t at that time that I told you! I swear!” Wade raised his hands in defense, waving them side to side, “It just started showing up right after that and...well it’s not like I could just  _tell_  you!”

“Why not? Why couldn’t you just tell me?”

“... _Because_!” He paused and sagged his shoulders, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He looked defeated, “Because last time I encountered it, things turned weird, and then we started texting and stuff and it was good you know?”

“So what? You thought if we got rid of it then I’d stop... _texting_ you or something?”

**(Oh man! That’s a _perfect_ excuse!)**

**[Yes. go with that.]**

“Yes.” Wade responded robotically, “That is _exactly_ the reason.”

“..ok _and_?”

“And what?”

“And what other reason? I can tell by how suspicious you’re being that there’s something else.”

**( _Damn_! He caught on to us! RUN!)**

Wade took a moment, twiddling with his fingers, thinking of what to say. Why couldn’t Peter just piece everything together himself so he didn’t have to embarrass himself like this? Spidey deserved answers though, he couldn’t keep ignoring him and running away like some scared little mouse. He jammed his hands into his hoodie’s pocket and plopped down beside Peter. He didn’t look at the boy and kept his gaze straight ahead towards the open door, deep in thought about how he was going to say this, “You don’t like dudes.”

Peter was taken aback by the statement and blinked behind his mask, “Uh...ok?”

There was a slight growl to Wade’s voice as he tried to push out what he wanted to say, “I mean, come on, you know I got this thing going for you and stuff, and it’s really _really_ hard not to. Even just texting is awesome, sometimes hard, but I like it, and it’s been kinda nice you know? Then Yellow and White think it's a bad idea but I keep doing it anyway and regret it and I know I should stop and just leave you alone but then you text back and I can’t help but to respond. I feel like a stupid high school chick, honestly.” Wade laughed pathetically.

Peter felt slightly uncomfortable with where this conversation was going. In fact, he wasn’t sure WHERE it was going. He needed to get the man back on track before he thought too hard about it. He wasn’t going to let the merc’s confessions let the point of this whole thing slide. “Deadpool, what does this have to do with anything? What are you getting at?”

“I mean...okay, you know how it pretended to be you? It kept doing that, and I _knew_ it wasn’t you, but what the hell should I have done? I tried to kill it, but it’s literally _impossible_! Everything I do just goes right through it!”

“I _told_ you that the Avengers were on to something Deadpool! I told you that they had some ideas--”

“No, it’s---it’s hard to explain…”

“I’ve got nowhere to be right now.”

Wade had to keep himself from fidgeting, “...you know how I said that we... _you know_.”

Peter shivered, “...yeah?”

“Well, we kinda..kept.. _you know_ ing.” Wade studied the other’s face as best he could through the mask, but Peter’s body language was all too easy to read.

“You...You’re making out with me?? I mean--The _enemy_?? Deadpool, _why_?!” Peter shook his head, “This is unbe _lievable_! _Please_ tell me that you’re _joking_!”

“I hate to say this, but I wish I _was_ joking. And uh…”

**(HERE IT COMES!!)**

“It was a LITTLE more than just…”

**[This wont end pretty.]**

“.. _You know_ ing.”

Wade could see Peter’s mouth hang open, speechless. He wasn’t sure he liked that. He’d rather the hero say _something_ , even to yell at him rather than the silence. Peter didn’t move except for his head that hung down to look at the floor, and Wade didn’t know if saying something would be such a good idea, but he was suddenly feeling anxious, nervous, but above all, guilty. He should just leave and leave Peter alone for the rest of the night, he was sure that the younger man wouldn't want to talk to him after that. Before he could even make a move to get up, Peter stood, a bit wobbly, but determined to keep steady. “Hey--”

“ _DON'T_! Just. _Don’t_.” Peter had to take hold of the door frame for a moment as he walked out of the room. Deadpool knew he wasn’t welcome to, but he followed.

“Look, I didn’t do it to piss you off or anything! It was an--”

“ _Accident_?”

It was a word that was said with so much venom that it would make a snake cry. Wade flinched before mumbling, “... _thatsnotwhatIwasgunnasay_.”

**(It _totally_ was!)**

**[ _Totally_.]**

“Where’s my stuff?” Peter didn't even spare a glance at Wade, and Wade could hardly bring himself to look at Peter.

Without a word, Wade went over to the short table in the middle of his living room and picked up a small backpack and held it out to Peter, “It as everything inside. I put some cream in there for you in case you needed it. I have lots. Also put some of those pain meds in here, s'not like I need 'em. Web-shooters are in there, too. You might need to refill them though, I couldn't help but try them out.” He shrugged a shoulder over to his kitchen where there were plenty of broken glasses and plates that were used as target practice.

Peter snatched the bag and Peter hobbled his way over to the door before stopping in front, not wanting to say words that he needed to say. Luckily, and obviously, Wade caught the drift. Peter heard as the merc’s footsteps became faint before coming back with hesitant steps. There was a pause before Wade stepped forward to hand Peter a red hoodie.

“Here. It’s my favorite, but it will do good at hiding your face. There’s some food stains on it but--” Peter snatched it, not wanting to hear anymore of what Wade had to say. It’s not like Wade blamed the boy, his anger was justified. There was another awkward pause, before Peter reached up to start undoing the _many_ locks on the door. “Can you make it back okay?” No response, of course. When Peter got down to the last lock he roughly opened the door and Wade made sure to say one last thing before the hero left, “Wait! Hold on a sec!”

It was clear that Peter had to really force himself to stop, but thankfully he did, in the middle of the entryway, “I, uh, I know that you don’t believe me...but--I _am_ sorry, okay?”

**[Sorry enough not to do it again?]**

“But also I’m sorry that I’ve been ignoring you.”

Peter started to walk out the door now and into the hallway and Wade quickly walked after him, leaning out of his doorway, “What I’m trying to say is, if you need anyone to you know, talk to or anything--I know you don’t want to speak any words to me but if you ever get like, you know, _urges_ to do something not so good to yourself, I’ll listen.”

Peter paused, maybe accidentally before continuing down the hallway enough to turn a quick corner and begin struggling with putting on the hoodie with his messed up shoulder. Wade stepped back inside his apartment and leaned his back against the door.

“Shit... _SHITSHITSHIT_.”

**(Wow! He hated you before, but now he _REALLY_ hates you! Now he knows that your insides really DO match your outside!)**

**[Ugly as hell.]**

Wade slid down and sat with a groan. He began to bang the back of his head against the door, harder and harder each time as his boxes droned on and on.

**[You think he’ll tell the Avengers?]**

**(Oh man! _All_ of his heroes will think he’s more of a scum than he already is!)**

**[Captain America would be so ashamed. You should go back to Canada. He’ll see you as a shitstain to his country.]**

**(You could never be an Avenger, and now your chances are at a negative! You can’t tell right now, but I’m shaking my head.)**

No matter how hard he banged his head against the door, the voices would just not _SHUT UP_.

**[Can you imagine if your _daughter_ found out? You’ll never get a ‘World’s Greatest Dad’ mug for Christmas.]**

**(If word gets out about this who KNOWS if they’ll even let him see her again! What a bad influence!)**

**[Poor Spidey, he never asked for this you know. It’s sick.]**

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_ There was blood forming behind his mask now

**(Disgusting. You just HAD to go and be the good guy and tell him the truth. You’re losing your touch when it comes to lying. Could have saved him the trouble, and he’d still be here, in your bed.)**

**[Maybe you could have even ended up fucking him, just like his clone.]**

**(Speaking of, I wonder when he’ll visit again. He’s a _lot_ nicer than Spidey, isn't he?)**

**[He lets us touch his dick without complaining. The makeout sessions aren't so bad either.)**

_BANG! BANGBANG! BANG!_

**(Hey, are you feeling a little... _weird_?)**

**[Yeah--oh, he’s blacking out. it’s about fucking time.]**

_BANG!_

**(It’s kinda fun, this feeling! Its nice and relaxing, knowing we’re going to a better place for a bit.)**

**[Eh. I could do without all the jostling. But yeah, kinda fun.]**

**(Oh, and _dooooowwwwnn_ he goes.)**

Wade landed with a squelch, blood filling up to the front of his mask. Maybe things would be better when he woke up. They never were, the world goes on whether he’s dead or alive, but _damn_ did he feel better; more refreshed. He never expected his day to turn out this way, How the fuck did it come to this?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't forget to Comment or Kudos if you're enjoying yourself! (:
> 
> I probably fucked up a lot in this chapter so woopsie! It's hard to keep track with so many words!


	9. I'm Sorry!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is stressed and feels pressure that makes even breathing hard.
> 
> Wade apologizes, or at least tries his best to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!!  
> Thanks so much to everyone who sent me well wishes for my surgery!  
> Im STILL healing but so so so much better! (:
> 
> Here is my longest update so far! I just get out of control when writing I suppose hahaha :P
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it and excuse my typos! Also, I often write notes in my fics, so if I left any in there please tell me so I can take them out! ; v ; also, sorry for any typos once again!!
> 
> Comments and Kudos GREATLY appreciated! You guys are the best!! :D

He'd been having panic attacks lately.

Peter tried to distract himself any way that he knew how, whether it be visiting his aunt May almost every night in a week, texting or calling Gwen in the wee hours of the morning (she really didn't appreciate that), and patrolling at times when there was clearly no need while actually hoping, _hoping_  that someone was being harassed. Since his shoulder was fucked up, he couldn’t swing around like before, but he could still tie up perps when the chance called for it. Even Jameson's ranting and yelling was music to his ears. Hell, he even _liked_ listening to Pepper and Tony's recent squabbling, and he secretly hoped that they would never stop. When none of those things were going on, he opted to go out with his camera. Taking pictures was a Godsend; it always made him feel relaxed and at ease. He barely had time to think of anything else while he scanned the area for photographic opportunities (also for the fact that lately he wore headphones on his outings to get rid of any unwanted silence).

He hated this. He hated how antsy and irritable he'd become as of late. He thought he was over feeling this way. He thought that if he just didn't THINK about it, then it would all go away, but he knew that he had a reminder etched into his wrists that were to make sure he'd never forgot. He thought he was getting better though, he really did, he really _really_ did, but then Deadpool-- _No_. _Stop thinking about it_. _Put your headphones on and do something else_.

It was about 4 A.M. and he was working on homework. He even asked his professors if they could give him any extra work that he could do for more credit. Okay, _asked_ was putting it mildly, he _begged_. Peter tapped his pencil rapidly against his paper, clearly not in time with the music going through his headphones, constantly raking his gaze over his cellphone to see if he'd gotten any receiving messages. He didn't.

It made him nervous and anxious. He had no control over how he was feeling right now, and it made him feel sick to his stomach. He didn't like not having control, it made him feel weak and worthless, even though he was known as a sheepish nerd, it really made him ill to think about it. His aunt had noticed the shift in his demeanor and tried not to notice her worried glances in his peripheral vision. He hated worrying her, but he didn't know how else to act. He THOUGHT that he was acting fairly normal around her, but he knew that people on the outside tend to see things you don't. He'd just have to keep denying her while she kept asking him what was wrong. Nothing is wrong. _Nothing is wrong_.

The brunette slouched on his bed, resting his back against his wall as the tapping of his pencil continued. He tried to make stories in his mind that went along with the music, but even that was failing him terribly. There were certain lines in the songs that would make his breath hitch, and soon he was finding it hard to breathe. He threw off his headphones and doubled over, clenching his chest as the edges of his vision started to get dark. A cold sweat appeared on his forehead as the feeling ran over over whole body. His legs felt numb and his arms felt weak; he felt like he was going to purge.

Peter quickly grabbed for the trash bin that was beside his bed and lurched, at first just gagging as nothing came out before the floodgates had finally opened. He gasped for air and there was a sharp sting in his throat that he had tried to wash away with a glass of water once he calmed enough not to choke on it. The young man sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands, shivering from anything but the chill in his room as he had to open his window to get some air.

He could hear the music coming from his headphones, but thankfully couldn't understand any of the muffled words, it was a comfort just hearing that. He reached over to his phone, staring at the homescreen of him and Gwen and a slight smile shifted on his face. He really didn't know what she saw in him, but he was glad that he had her in his life. She was beautiful, smart, has sass that could frighten any diva, and she was incredibly funny. Sure, they were having a few problems here and there, but he loved her. He love being _with_ her; She made him feel...not so _alone_.

He dialed her number and leaned back against the wall with his knees drawn up, a comfort to his stomach. It rang a few times before going to voicemail, so he tried a second time. This time she picked up on the third ring with a groan that sounded overly tired, and exceptionally cute. "Peter...what? Can't I just have one night of peace?"

Peter absentmindedly prodded a finger to his shoulder wound, "You should have thought of that before you got into a relationship." He teased, but soon gathered that she wasn't in the mood for his games, or talking for that matter.

"Peter," She groaned as he heard her shift under her covers, "I'm tired. What do you want? I have to be up for work in a few hours. Can't this wait till morning?"

He was quiet for a moment as his fingers subconsciously picked at his toenail.

"Peter?"

Another pause.

"Yeah, I guess it can. Sorry Gwen, I just--sorry." Peter ended, his voice getting soft.

Gwen listened to his breathing over the phone and he heard he shift again, as if sitting up, "Peter, what's going on with you lately? You've been calling me constantly in the middle of the night, even when you _know_ I have to work early." She paused before continuing, "Remember when you did this before when we first started dating and I had to have that little talk with you about why you need to _not_ do that?"

He remembered, and he cringed thinking about it. They'd actually broken up soon after that because she thought he was a little creepy in a possessively creepy way. He didn't like to think about that.   
  


"Yeah Gwen, I'm sorry. I just like hearing your voice, that's all." He forced a smile that couldn't be seen that was more for himself than anyone. I'll let you get back to sleep--"

"Peter, what is it? Why won’t you just tell me? Does it have to do with you being Mr. hero?" She sounded more awake now, and Peter was kind of wishing she would just go to sleep now, he didn't like having to avoid her questions and lie to her.

"Yeah, it's just been pretty rough lately I guess. You just see and hear things on the job that you really don't want to sometimes and--I dunno, it's just nice to hear you."

She let out a sympathetic sigh, "You need to take a break Peter. I get that what you do is important, but you're not the only hero out there. There's a whole team, the Avengers. Let them take the load for a while. If it's stressing you out _this_ much, maybe you should..you know, tell your vigilante life goodbye for a while."

"I can't!" He suddenly burst out, gripping at his toes, "I can't just _stop_ Gwen. People _need_ me. The Avengers aren't always there, and sometimes they can use my help. They don’t stop the kind of crime I stop, they are into more... _bigger_ things." Being Spider-man was important, not just to the people around him, but to his own self identity. He _was_ Spider-man, this was _his_ city to protect, he was a hero. Being Spider-man had given him a sense of independence that he'd never known he needed. It made him feel strong, noticed, loved.... _wanted_. He couldn't just give that up, and for her even suggesting that put him on edge, even if her intentions were good. Sometimes though, he felt like she was asking him to give it up just so he could spend more time with her. Well, he was giving her a _lot_ of attention lately, and even that seemed like a bad thing for her.

"I'm just trying to help, Peter." She almost sounded defeated and Peter felt a slight pang a guilt sting him.

"...I know Gwen, I'm sorry. I just...can't think of anything I'd rather not do than give up being Spider-man."

"I know, Peter." She hesitated, "I just don't know what I can do to help you. You don't tell me _anything_ , so I don't know what kind of help you expect of me when you shut me out like you have been."

She was right. Peter _knew_ she was right, but what would he do? If he told her the real reason for all of this, she'd never look at him the same way again. She'd leave him, think of him as if riddled with disease. It wasn't as easy to say as it was to listen, and he just couldn't say it. He couldn't _ever_  say it. He just wanted to listen to her talk. He just wanted to hear her voice as a comfort for when he got like this, it really helped him ease up. He knew that getting into an actual relationship would be a struggle for him, but he doesn't regret doing it. He just hated that right now, while seeking comfort, the only thing he could do was apologize, even though it _was_ all his fault.

"I'm sorry..."

"I know, Peter." She repeated, "Look, I really need to get some sleep, okay? I'll talk to you later." She stated in a curt manner, clearly feeling irritated at him now.

"Alright, I'll talk to you later. Goodnight, Gwen, I lo--" He noticed the silence over the line and pulled his phone back to see that she had hung up. It shouldn't have bothered him as much as it did when his phone went back to the homescreen. She was understandably upset, but his emotions had been pretty wild lately and he felt his eyes start to sting. He was the worst boyfriend ever. The fact that she stayed with him as long as she did was a mystery and a miracle. He couldn't help but feel appreciative about it, like she was doing some kind of good deed by being with him.

Peter rested his head against his knees and let out a breath of air he didn't know he was holding in, then another, and another. The breaths came in short bursts and he found himself curling in on himself as a sob escaped his throat without his consent. He hugged his knees as his emotions took over, unable to stop the tears from falling. His back hunched and his shoulder's shook as he tried to strangle his sobs. He reached his hand under the collar of his shirt, guiding a finger against the wound on his shoulder and lightly pressed against it before roughly twisting his finger into the still healing skin. Peter grit his teeth as his finger dug in, feeling a wetness that relieved him rather than alarmed him. He didn't have a right to cry, not over THIS. It was his fault anyway.

Everything was his fault.

* * *

 

He'd seen Deadpool standing atop a roof, overlooking the city, searching for something or some _one_. The man's head turned to him in recognition and it made the hero quickly turn a corner on the street and dash away in fear of being followed or worse, having the man want to “talk about it”. He didn’t _want_ to talk about it; he didn’t want to talk to Wade at ALL.

The next time he saw Deadpool was when he was in the middle of rounding up a few robbers in a small corner store. He noticed the man while he webbed them to the wall. He was looking in to the store from across the street and a shiver ran up his spine because once he noticed him, Deadpool quickly ran off in an almost comical manner. Not funny enough to laugh by any means. It felt like he was being stalked and that was _not_ okay with him.

He saw Deadpool again when the merc was actually on a hit mission. That was awkward. Peter had been practicing swinging with just one arm and it was the worst idea. His healing factor was taking a lot longer than usual with healing his shoulder than he’d like, but the pain was getting pretty dull as days went by just as long as he didn’t stress his wound. The flesh was healed on the outside, but the inside was taking it’s damn time.

Peter managed to crawl up the side of a building, very slowly and awkwardly, and when he reached the top he could see Deadpool lying on his stomach, looking through the scope of a sniper rifle. He noticed the man hoping the rooftops and ducking every once in a while and he KNEW that he was up to something this time around. Every time he spotted the man, his anger grew, enough that he just wanted to say “fuck it” and leave the man to do whatever it was he was doing while he distanced himself. His body shook whenever the man was around and it made him feel uncomfortable in his own skin.

Deadpool was so silent that Peter had to squint to make sure that the man wasn’t dead in that position. Peter winced as he lifted his arm, keeping himself hidden on the side of the building, and shot out a few quick spurts of webs, webbing Wade's ankles together, his arms and waist to the rooftop, and the eyes of his mask. He then shot a web towards the gun and whipped it off the roof, hearing it clatter to the ground.

* * *

 

“Hey! What’s the big idea Spidey!?” Deadpool whipped his head around  to see no one in sight. He struggled a bit, finally able to rip himself from the roof. With his ankles still tied together, he hopped towards the edge of the rooftop, looking over the edge, and seeing no sign of the vigilante. He was confused, not surprised, and also a bit relieved.

He was also pissed. He was on a mission! There was a lot of money on the li-- _shit_. Wade hobbled back to his earlier position and crouched.

**(Do you see what I see~?)**

**[I don’t see anything.]**

**(Exactly!)**

“ _Fuck_!” Wade squinted his eyes as best he could, peering through a window that was _way_ easier to do with the scope of the gun that currently wasn’t in his possession anymore, and could see no movement. It wasn’t that there wasn’t any movement, there was no one at all! “God dammit! Where did they go! They were there right? There were just two guys there right??” Every window to the target’s part of the building was open, and it was clear that there was no one occupying any of the rooms, like they simply just left.

**(Don’t count your chickens before they hatch!)**

**[I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m sure you didn’t use that saying right.]**

**(Look! There’s a special chickadee inside the building!)**

Wade shimmied even closer to the roof’s edge and his eyes widened at what he saw. It was definitely a Spider-man in that window, and it was definitely looking straight at him with his hands on his hips.

**(Haha! Look at all that fuckin’ _sass_!)**

Wade was frozen in his spot. He didn’t think that seeing Peter in costume from such a distance would affect him, but he was staring directly at him, very judgingly. He was used to the boy talking down to him for killing, but Wade knew that it was a little more than just the killing that the hero was upset about. To his relief the hero didn’t stay long and lept out the window, shooting his web across buildings until he was quickly out of sight.

**[Not even a lecture. Shame. It’s nice to see him all tensed up.]**

**(I dunno, he looks pretty tense from here.)**

**[Hate to see him leave, but I _love_ watching him go~]**

No matter how guilty Wade felt, he had to admit, he liked seeing Spidey swing away with an obvious anger laced through his muscles.

**[You know, we STILL don't know how old he is.]**

**( _So_? He doesn’t know how old WE are either!)**

**[Point taken.]**

The merc slunk back and sat on his rear and slumped. He didn’t like this. Besides the fact that Spidey was his usual self in terms of not being able to mind his own fucking business and getting in the way of his “jobs”, but the fact that it was _Spidey_ , was what he didn’t like right now. Usually he’d be over the moon whenever the bae was around, but now he just had a knot in his stomach. He felt ill, and knowing that he couldn’t risk leaving the city to go back home, not when Ellie was around. Maybe he could buy a new place somewhere else! _Duh_! He wasn’t limited to just two places!

**[You know that moving won’t make a difference when 98% of your jobs are in this city, right?]**

**(Wait..is Spidey still mad at us? He’s not over that yet?? It’s not like it’s a big deal! It’s like sleeping with a twin! It wasn’t actually _him_. Jesus Christ, if he’s gunna be such a _bitch_ about it, we’d be better off fucking a _dog_.)**

**[Oookay. I’m usually okay with whatever you’re into but, _ew_.]**

* * *

 

“You okay, ‘Cap?”

Peter’s eyes wandered behind his mask, around the room that was eerily quiet with only him and the captain as its occupants. He then focused on Steve, who was pacing back and forth in front of a large window that showed a nice view of the city below. The older man looked stressed to say the least. He hadn’t said a word since Peter arrived, hell, Peter wasn’t even sure that the blonde knew he had company.

Suddenly, Steve came to a stop in regards to Spider-man, “Oh!” He looked around the room before looking back at the spider, “Hey--Uh, hahaha sorry. Were you...standing there long?” He shifted on his feet, clearly embarrassed that he was caught in a state of obvious worry.

Peter would save the captain from any more embarrassment and shrugged, “Not really. You just look like you have a lot on your mind. Also..” He looked off to the side, “Are you the only one here? Where’s Tony?”

Steve’s shoulders sagged like a weight had been lifted off them. He sighed, “Tony’s here. He’s in his lab.” The captain crossed his arms, not meeting Peter’s gaze, “It’s..not really my business to say but..” He paused, contemplating on what to say, “He and Pepper got into it a quarrel and she, well, left I guess.”

“She left?”

Steve started to look a bit uncomfortable now, “Well, yes...I mean, she looked pretty upset. She and Tony were really going at it after a mission today.”

“What happened this time?”

“I--I’m not really sure?”

Peter could tell that ‘Cap didn’t mean to sound so suspicious, but he wasn’t going to push the issue if the man really didn’t want to talk about it. It was selfish, but, it was almost disappointing to know that things were quiet. Before Peter could respond, Steve spoke up again,

“Tony’s been locked away doing--science stuff, and refuses to come out. He’s really pissed. I tried to coax him out but, I think it’s just something he needs to deal with on his own for a while to let off some steam.”

Peter nodded, “I’m sure JARVIS would alert you if anything serious was going on.” he paused, “No wonder he’s been so active in battle lately, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this upset.”

“Well, he wouldn’t admit it if you asked him. He’s always acting like he has stuff together. It’s a little worrying, but there’s nothing we can really do about it, because if you ask if he’s alright, he just gets even more upset.”

Peter studied the man in front of him with a slight tilt of his head. He noticed that Steve and Tony had a strange relationship, at first he thought that they disliked each other for the most part from observing most of their petty arguments, but then he started to see an actual friendship shape in the form of 5th graders in the bodies of adult men. It was always funny to see Steve get on to Tony about his colorful language and Tony tease the man back about the lack of color in his speech.  Sometimes they would give each other a look in battle as if they discussed a plan without saying one word between each other. Peter envied that a little.

Peter shrugged, trying to brighten the mood a bit, “I’m sure he’ll be fine. Pepper and Tony care for each other too much to let a little argument do much damage. Just give it time, Captain.” He gave a little thumbs up and Steve gave back a small, unsure lopsided smile.

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

“By the way...do you know where she might have went? I know it’s not really any of my business, but I’d at least like to know if she’s okay. You’re here for Tony, but who’s there for her, you know? She’s been like a mom to me in an...overly worried, and liking to tell me what to do kinda way.”

Steve shook his head, “No, sorry, I didn’t have a chave a chance to check up on any of that. Once I can get Tony to at least talk to me, I’ll ask him about it for you.” he crossed his arms, clearing his throat and he shifted on his feet, “By the way, did you come here for something? Well, I mean, I’m the only one available right now but is there something I can help you with Peter?”

It was always flattering to hear the Captain use his name and it made Peter trip over his tongue, “O-oh, well, kinda. I was just, you know, hanging out. Seeing what everyone was up to.”

“Mmhmm, and?”

“And, uh…” Peter looked off to the side, his fingers picking at the thigh of his costume’s material, “I was wondering if you heard any talk about...the Shadow? I need to talk to Tony or Bruce about it.”

“Oh, that. Sorry Peter, I myself haven't heard much about it, but I know that Tony’s been a bit preoccupied, and Bruce hasn't been around much lately so I can’t really say much for him.” Steve noticed Peter’s fist clench as he kept his silence, “Is there any more developments on your end? Did something happen recently?”

 _If only you knew_ , Peter thought. Instead of the whole truth, he decided to go halfsies and shrugged a shoulder, still not meeting the Captain’s gaze, “Not really, just been catching glances of it here and there, but nothing really big. It just seems to really like hanging around Deadpool.”

“Deadpool? Really? That’s weird.” The taller man rubbed at his chin before taking a seat on the expensive couch behind him, “And you’re sure that they aren’t working together in this...uh, whatever they are doing? What are they doing again?” Steve asked a bit confused.

Peter could only shake his head as he stood there, “No, no. Deadpool’s not...not _with_ the thing.” _Not in the was Steve was talking about anyway_. “And it’s--It’s just doing _bad_ stuff! It’s no hero that’s for sure.”

“What kind of bad stuff, Peter?”

Peter was starting to get agitated, as if Steve KNEW what was going on, and he was still interrogating him for answers, “Just--” The hero had to take a breath to even remember things that weren’t just his _own_ reasons for wanted to get rid of that thing, “It’s impossible to kill! It attaches itself to walls and moves around and there’s nothing I can do to get at it! It can hurt ME that’s for damn sure. It can change it’s shape! And it even takes over people’s bodies! It--it makes them DO things!”

“Woah. What kind of things? Like rob banks? Hold people hostage? Murder?”

This time it was Peter’s turn to start pacing, “Well--no. I mean, not that I know of, but it _could_!”

Steve wasn’t looking convinced. Instead he was just looking more confused than before.

Peter groaned, trying to map out his thoughts, “It’s previous host said that it made him feel powerful, stronger. It feels like something very dangerous. It even...gets _intimate_ with people.”

Steve’s eyes widened, “Gets...intimate?”

Peter nodded, not exactly feeling comfortable with where this conversation was going, “Yeah, it seems a bit wrong doesn't it? None of this feels okay. It’s just using people to it’s advantage because it’s fun!”

There was a question on the Captain’s face, and Peter was extremely glad that he didn’t ask it, “You’re right, that is definitely not okay, Peter. Is it actually hurting his targets? I wonder where something like that came from.”

Peter felt glad to get a little reassurance to his question. He shook his head, “Well--I don't know really but it seems like it could? If not physically then emotionally somehow! And I don’t know where it came from, but I wish I did, because that would make things so much easier.”

“Hmmm...Well we can't do much with an ' _I don't know_ ' Peter, and I'm not saying that it's okay with what it's doing, but if we don't have any evidence of it causing much harm, it doesn't really make it a top priority for us. It _is_  something I want to look into with the other though. Why does it hang around Deadpool so much if they aren't together in their...debauchery? Seems weird. You said it takes over bodies, are you sure it’s not taking over his?”

Peter couldn’t help but snort at the question, especially since he knew the answer, “And if it did? Do you think that shadow can do anything worse than Deadpool _himself_ could do? It wouldn’t even be something to worry about.”

It was then that Peter saw an actual amused smile on his face, “Yes, that’s true, but it's still worrying. What if he--”

There was a crash of glass in the distance and an angry, loud voice which made Steve get up on his feet immediately.

“Mr. Rogers.” JARVIS’ voice echoed through the room, “You told me to inform you when Mr. Stark was out of his lab. He’s left to the restroom if that interests you at all.”

“Thank you JARVIS.” Steve looked at Peter with a nod of his head, “Sorry to cut this short, but I’ll do what I can to discuss this problem with Tony when I can, and whenever I see Bruce.”

“Yeah, sure thing ‘Cap. Thanks. Good luck with _that_.” He turned his head in a motion towards the earlier sounds.

Steve put his hand on Peter’s shoulder and gave it a pat with a small smile and made his way out of the room.

“May I help you with anything, sir?”

Peter looked up to the ceiling, realizing that JARVIS was speaking to him, “No. Thanks, JARVIS. I was just heading out.”

“You’re welcome, sir. I shall get the door for you.”

Peter left with nothing accomplished. He thought that maybe he’d feel a bit better talking about the situation, but in the end he just felt a bit awkward and uncomfortable.

* * *

 

**(Man, this _sucks_. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m tired of all this brooding, it’s getting _BOOOOOORIIING_!)**

**[Yeah. We don’t get to see the outside world much. I miss the sun.]**

It had been a few days after Wade had seen Spider-man from the rooftop, and his mood just plummeted, _again_. He opted to just lay on the couch and watch sappy romance movies and eat the usual unhealthy snacks. Seeing Spidey that day just made him remember (not like he ever forgot) what a piece of shit he was.

( **Sitting here doesn’t make any money big guy! That new game with the ink and the squid kids is already out! And we don’t even own it!! Usually you go threaten the creators and get games before they even come out on the shelves! Dude, this is stressing me out.)**

**[Just apologize.]**

“I already did that! I’m not the world’s most trustworthy person, so of course he doesn’t believe me.”

**(Sounds like a personal problem.)**

**[Apologize again then. Just keep doing it until he gets annoyed enough to just accept it.]**

**(Wow. That’s actually a helluh good plan! I see no consenquences at all!)**

Wade groaned and rolled over onto his stomach, the sounds of the TV rolling on, nothing sounding very coherent. The boxes were making some sense, and he knew it was bad when they were trying to help him.

He sat up suddenly, a lightbulb appearing above his head, and pounded his fist into his palm, “By Joe, I got it! I’ll just keep apologizing until he gets annoyed enough to just accept it!”

**[You...fucking asshole.]**

“Cool yeah cool! I’m gunna apologize so hard, he won’t know what hit him! Nothing can go wrong with this plan at all! It’s flawless!”

**(I’m excited to see this disaster~!)**

 

* * *

 

It was the next night when Spider-man was tying up a man that had just been going around slashing tires. “That should teach you that doing stupid stuff like this just because you want to prove that tired are way overpriced, is stupid. I mean, I agree, but I don’t know, go petition or something. That’s what people are into these days, right?” Peter sighed and flung the guy over his good shoulder before swinging off to the police station. The pain in his shoulder was excruciating tonight, seeing as how he was barely letting it heal, and he had to force himself not to drop the guy onto the street below. Once he finally got to the station after what felt like hours, he began explaining the situation to the not-so-excited woman at the front desk.

He made his way across the city once again, spotting a suspicious man in a black trenchcoat and fedora. The man was holding something to his chest and running, hunched over towards a dark alley “Wow, if _that's_  not suspicious, I don't know what _is_.” The hero swung himself down to the entrance of the large alley with his web shooters at the ready as he silently trailed the man. There was a cross-section in the middle of the alley, and he wasn’t sure which way the man went, that is, until he heard a bone crunching sound followed by a short scream coming from the right. He dashed in that direction and skidded to a stop when he saw a large black lump on the ground in front of him. It was the man in the trenchcoat, he was groaning with what looked like a broken leg, and was tied up with thick,red rope that wrapped around to the front of him in a giant bow. “What the…?” Spider-man stepped closer and noticed there was a brown paper bag filled with an obscene amount of hundred dollar bills. _What the hell just happened_? He knelt down and picked up a note that was beside the money.

_Roses are Red_

_This rope is too_

_If you wanna HANG sometime_

_I can tie you up too~_

Peter scrunched his nose under his mask and flipped the folded lower corner of the paper.

_Also, Im sorry!_

There was a small crayon doodle of Deadpool’s head with a gigantic tear coming from one of his eyes and all he could do was roll his eyes. “Wow.” He folded the paper up and stuck it into the hip of his suit before grabbing the bag and hauling the guy up. It was obvious that this was Wade’s attempt at apologizing, and what a lame way, it didn’t impress Peter in the slightest. It was just... _annoying_. He really wasn’t in the mood for this. “Welp, let’s see just exactly where you got the money from buddy.” He flung the trenchcoated man over his shoulder, gritting his teeth as he webbed himself up the closest building.

The next few times he was patrolling were just as strange.

* * *

 

He’d been tipped off that there was a bomb on the roof of a building in a town near the city and he wasted no time in making his way over. Of course, when it made it to the specified area all he could do was groan when he saw a remote control with a tag taped to it, and written on the tag was “To Spidey” in atrocious, familiar handwriting. “Really?” Though, it COULD still be a bomb; he wouldn’t put it past Deadpool. He really wanted this to be part of some bomb. It was horrible to think, and he should be happy that it wasn’t, but he didn’t like thinking that he had an important job to do, people to save, then in the end it was all just a waste of time.

He glanced over the remote. There was only one, big, red button on it with a little antennae sticking out of the top. It was definitely suspicious. The hero kicked it a few inches to see if it did anything besides look ridiculously cartoony. It did nothing. He sagged his shoulders and picked up the stupid thing, looking it over. It wasn’t giving him any bad vibes, though he wished it did, and he sighed “Whatever.” He pressed the button and raised an eyebrow when nothing happened. He looked over his shoulders, “OOoookay then?” He pressed it again, nothing happened. “Wow, thanks for the distraction, Deadpool, just what I needed.” He said sarcastically before tossing the remote over his shoulder.

Just as he was about to crawl down the side of the building, he heard an explosion from up above him, “What!?” He looked overhead “....WHAT?” There were fireworks going off now in predominantly red and blue colors. At first, they were just random patterns, but then they started to spell out the words ' _SORRY SPIDEY'_  Then ended with a giant heart and Peter shook his head “God _dammit_ Deadpool…”

* * *

The last time, after a few more incidents, was when Spidey heard a call for help, a familiar call at that, and he knew exactly who the girly scream was calling from. Wade did this before! Did he really think he could trick Peter with this again? He was getting so god damn sick of these stupid games the older man was playing, and that’s when Peter decided to talk to him face to face--or at least mask to mask. No matter how much Peter avoided Wade, the guy always seemed a step ahead of him, so _not_ saying something wasn’t helping anything, it just made Peter even more aggravated.

“ _WHAT_!? What do you _want_  from me??” Spider-man exclaimed as he hopped down from a building near the park’s entrance. There was no one in sight, no cars or people, and no response. He _knew_ that the call for help came from here, and he clenched his fists in annoyance as he walked down the shadowy path that was barely lit by few lamps. It sent a chill down his spine, it felt like he was in a horror movie. He’d never been in the park at night like this. It’s not like there were a lot of crimes to be committed here when no one ever came here at this time. “Deadpool!” The hero called out as he walked deeper into the large park, “I know it’s you! What do you want?!” Once again, no response. “What am I doing? This is _stupid_.” Peter shook his head and stopped to turn around but did a doubletake when he noticed a bench under one of the park’s lamps. He hesitated before taking a couple of steps forward to examine the bright pink box that was sitting alone on the bench. “What the hell?” He whispered to himself and read the tag on the box that was decorated with a bright green bow.

_To: Spidey_

Peter looked to his left, then to his right suspiciously. “Deadpool…” He picked the box up and shook it. He wasn’t too scared of the contents inside, knowing it wouldn’t be a bomb considering the rest of the man’s gifts, but he was definitely curious. “Fine. I’ll bite.” Peter pulled the green ribbon, and once he did he instantly regretted it because the top of the box flew off and a spring popped out. “ _AUGH_!!” He threw the box down as red splattered over his suit. Atop of the spring was a heart, a _human_ heart. “Fuck! What the--Deadpool!!” Peter’s own heart almost sprung right out of his chest and he cringed, feeling his knees weaken by the second. “That’s not funny!”

Suddenly there was a **_THUMP_** behind him and Spider-man jerked around to see a body face first in the grass near a tree and it was obvious who the body belonged to. “Deadpool!” Peter wasn’t amused as he made his way over. “ _Hey_! Get up!” Peter nudged the man roughly with his foot and the body didn’t move. “What are you _doing_??” He nudged again, turning the body over with his foot to see a hole and a patch of blood on the man’s chest. Peter winced back as Wade suddenly sat up and swallowed his own vomit before lifting up his mask a bit to let the contents flow freely.

“ _HEEEeeeeeeeyyy_ baby boy! You come here often~? The park is a lot better at night time! Funny that we should run into each other like this like _damn_ what are the odds y’know??” The man stood up, hacking out blood before he wiped his mouth and pulled his mask back over his scarred lips, “Man, what a day! Don’t go to the food truck near the CVS, I think it did something weird to my insides--” Wade eyed Spider-man’s suit, before looking over to the bench “Hey! You got my gift!!”

“ _Yeah_. About that.” Peter shoved a finger towards the box that was now on the ground, “What the hell was that all about!?”

“I was giving you my heart! _Duh_ Spidey. Read between the lines much?”

“I noticed. But _why_?”

“Besides it being a _ridiculously_ romantic gesture, it was an apology gift! I was gunna go for chocolate or something but I was like, hold on a sec! What if he’d lactose intolerant?? That would be _so_ embarrassing! So then I was gunna get you a puppy--okay like a whole _basket_ of puppies, but then I was like _damn_ what if he’s allergic? Hahaha no way, right? So then I was like maybe I could get him a stripper but then I was like shit no, all these strippers are too fake, Spidey seems like a ‘Real Deal’ kinda guy! Then I was like hey, _my_ boobs are real! But wouldn’t you know it, I wouldn’t find a good enough thong in my size! So then I was all like--”

“Okay,  _okay_! _Wade_! Shut up!”

“Oh my gosh...You said my name of your own accord! Am I being punked? Is it my birthday today?? We really ARE friendsies! I knew it, I knew when I first met you I was all, THIS guy is gunna learn to like me! Would _love_ it if you said it with less malice though.”

Peter couldn’t take all of Wade’s rambling. Not today. It was starting to really piss him off. “What do you want? Just say it and let me leave! You’ve been bothering me all week! I thought it was pretty clear that I don’t want to have any contact with you.”

“Yeah, but you know I have a listening problem, sweetums.”

“I also know that you’re avoiding the subject at hand. And if you keep doing that, I’m just going to leave and continue to avoid you because all you’re doing is getting on my nerves.”

* * *

**(Can you just shut up and explain like a _normal_ psycho for once??)**

**[Yeah, hurry up. Getting _kinda_  hungry in here. It’s already past second dinner.]**

**(Who _cares_ about food at a time like this? If Spidey forgives us, we can oogle him from a close distance again!)**

**[True. He _does_ tend to get a little hot and heavy after some battles.]**

**(Perfect adrenaline boner if I _ever_ saw one.)**

“You guys are making a lot of sense right now.”

“ _Wade_.”

Wade jerked back at Peter’s voice, bringing him back to the real world, “Okay, alright. I’m not _trying_  to bug you, pun intended, _honest_! I’m just makin’ an effort, you know?”

“I noticed. And I’m not impressed.” Spider-man shifted his weight on one leg and crossed his arms, “So what? You want me to forgive you for giving me your literal heart? For beating up bad guys that I could very well do myself? For setting up fireworks to go off above the city why the news keeps reporting what it could possibly mean on every news show?? I don’t even want to TALK about the thing with the spiders. Honestly? I don’t even _like_  spiders!”

“Well, when you put it like _that_...yes?”

Peter made grunt and shook his head, “Unbelievable. You really don’t have any friends, do you? Your social skills are horrible, and your idea of apologies are--Did you _really_ think this would work in your favor?”

Wade winced, “Hey--”

“Did you _really_  think after what you did, I’d _honestly_ just forgive you like that? Deadpool, what you did--what you’re _doing_ , you’re using MY body for your sick fantasies after I rejected you! You know what most people _call_ something like that?”

“Woah woah, Spidey! I’m not _doing_ anything! I haven’t _done_ anything since before I shot you!”

“Is that so? So what? That makes it okay because you’ve only done it three times instead of four?”

**[If only he knew just how many times he _did_ do it.]**

“No! I mean, I know it was wrong okay?? That’s why I’m trying to apologize! You won’t even let me explain--”

“Explain _what_? Do you _know_ what it feels like for someone to just use your body like that without your consent? Don’t you say that it doesn’t count, ‘cause it does! I’m paranoid now! I’m always thinking, damn, is he using me tonight too? And it just--It’s not right! I can’t do anything about it! I can’t even _tell_ anyone about it! It makes me feel disgusting! Like--Just the fact that someone can do whatever the hell they want with me and all I can do is sit there powerless!”

Suddenly, Wade felt a rage wash through him and he grabbed Peter’s arm, giving him a rough shake, “Yeah, I _do_ know what it feels like! You wanna ask me about something _else_ I don’t know?? You wanna ask me about how it FELT mentally? Emotionally? Physically? You want to tell me I don’t understand what you’re feeling because, oh poor _you_ , I messed around with your fucking _shadow_ and made you feel bad! It _wasn't_ you, Spidey! It _wasn't_! And what I was doing, I _totally_ had consent for! So, sorry if I hurt your feelings because I messed around with someone that _looked_ like you! Then I try to apologize and you come here erupting like a god damn volcano, dancing around the issue like I fucking _raped_ you or something and you just keep making me feel like a shitlord when I’m just trying to make things RIGHT!” Peter winced at the harsh word and was shoved back and poked with a hard finger to his chest, “Well, you know what? _Fuck you_ then, Spidey! I didn’t come out here so you could just keep dismissing what I’ve been trying to say! Fuckin’ Crazy ol’ Deadpool has nothing important to say, right? Everything that comes out of his mouth is just a bunch of _bullshit_ and doesn’t ever need to be taken seriously! “ He was shaking now, and his voice was extremely loud for that time of night and in the back of Peter’s head he couldn’t help but feel like someone could hear them. Wade suddenly laughed, it was a malicious laugh, “Fuck! Why do I bother? Why the _fuck_ do I even bother with you?? All you’ve been doing is being a massive prick, pretending like you’re _such_ a good guy rescuing people, while _I'm_ running around like a fucking moron trying to get your attention like some--fucking _retard_ that is too stupid to take a god damn hint…”

* * *

 

Wade’s voice trailed off towards the end, softer, Peter noticed, and he was breathing hard with clenched fists. The shorter man stood there, surprised and speechless. He didn’t know what to say. What _could_ he say to that? Wade let out all of his frustrations on him and Peter knew that he didn’t have enough pride to just dismiss everything he said, especially when a few certain things Wade had said stuck in his mind, certain things that left him breathless and shaking inside. He didn’t know how to handle something like this, he didn’t expect Wade to say what he did, he just figured the lunatic--the MAN would either laugh things off and dismiss himself, or just beg on his knees for forgiveness like a child. He never expected such raw emotion from someone like Wade.

They both stood there without a word, and it was suddenly feeling colder. Peter kept his gaze towards the merc’s feet, guilt weighing heavily on him. Should he apologize? Should he just forgive the man? What was right? Should he say something that would make Wade feel better or himself feel better? It made his heart pound quickly in his chest and it was impossible to steady, and the silence was anything but comforting, his mind felt blank and he felt light headed. His vision became dark around the edges and he felt like he was going to faint. He needed to say something, _anything_ , and he suddenly spoke without even realizing it,

“Wade..”

* * *

 

Before Wade could realize what was happening, he was pushed up against the tree with Spider-man pressed against his body.

“Wh--”

“Wade. Listen..I get it, you like me. And honestly, I've been..thinking of you too recently.”

Wade could feel the bulge of Peter’s groin suddenly rub against his own and it suddenly didn’t feel so cold out anymore.

**(WOW. This is actually working a lot better than I thought it was gunna!)**

**[You couldn't tell, but I just rolled my eyes. Not a small roll, but more like how a teenager does after their mother tells them to get off the internet.]**

The merc pressed his hands against Peter’s shoulders, “Uh huh yeah, I know you get that, but what I don’t get is what _you're_ doing. I mean hey, I’m all up for angry make-up sex but at least buy me dinner first.”

Peter laughed, “You’re so funny. How can I stay mad at you?” Small hips thrust forward and the hero managed to pull a soft moan from Wade, “Let’s make up.”

Wade’s hips bucked forward before instantly pulling back again, “Waitwaitwait no. _No_! Spidey! What--I’m really confused right now. This is weird.”

“What are you confused about? I’m giving my consent so it’s okay, right?” Peter’s hand traveled to Wade’s crotch and he groped a handful which made the merc tense up, “Come on Wade, let’s-- _AUGH_!”

Peter was struck across the face with the back of Wade’s hand, “SORRY! I panicked! I mean-- _No_! I did it on purpose!”

**[Bravo.]**

Peter stumbled, “Wade what the hell is wrong with you?? Why did you do that?”

The merc grabbed the hero and threw his back against the tree, pinning him there by his shoulders, “Don’t let my erection fool you, I’m actually super horny for your bod. But do you  _really_ think you can hide that fucking glint in your eye? I might not have noticed if it wasn't so dark, _and_ if you didn't act so god damn _weird_ about everything. Like, to be helluh mad then act like you wanna fuck all of a sudden? It doesn't even make sense to the story's plot!"

**[Again. I don't see a plot.]**

**(It would TOTALLY make sense if this was a oneshot. Or if the author was a horny highschooler that just wanted to get to teh smex.)**

Peter rubbed at his cheek then laughed, “ _Aaaaaah, sorry, can’t help it baby~ You do things to me that I can’t help but love. You know, I actually got into hitting recently. Saw this wife getting abused by her husband and I was like, yeah, I could totally get into that_.” Spider-man straightened his body and examined his suit, “ _You know, this is way more comfortable that it looks. It hugs my dick to hell, but honestly I kinda like it_.”

Wade gripped roughly at the fake hero's shoulder, making him wince and groan in pain, “OW! What the fuck, why does my shoulder hurt??”

“Because I shot you-- _him_ , and suddenly I'm not regretting it.” Wade responded and dug his thumb against the wound.

Fake Peter smiled behind the mask despite the pain, his groan now sounding a bit more sexual, “ _Oh yeah~ I remember hearing you talk to yourself about that. You a sadist or something? We'd make a good team then~_ ”

Wade's fingers wrapped around the Shadow's throat l and squeezed tightly, "How long have you been here? And so help me if you don't get out of him soon--

The shadow wheezed and held his hands up in surrender, sly voice betraying his body language, " _You hurt_ me _, you hurt_ him _. Just throwing that out there."_

Wade's grip loosened slightly at the revelation, and the bastard in front of him sounded so god damn smug, he could hear the smile in his voice. It made him feel sick. After everything he'd just told Peter, he didn't even know how much of it had been received,  if any at all. He knew that this thing could possess bodies, so he wasn't as surprised as he should have been, but he didn't actually expect him to actually take over the boy's body. He wasn’t going to let his guard down this time.

“You know, Wade,” The shadow said in the hero’s voice, “You should give up with me. No point, y’know?” Shrugging, it continued, “Spoiler alert: You’re not my type. You know it’s kinda creepy all the shit you’ve been doing right? It’s like, stalker level creepy. _Hahaha, who am I to judge though, am I right_?”

It’s laugh had Wade once again tightening his grip on it’s throat,“Cut the shit. What the fuck do you even WANT? Why do you keep following me around and messing with my fucking head?”

Peter--the _shadow_ tilted it’s head, “Didn’t we go through this already? It’s fun. Why stop when I’m enjoying myself so much? Hahaha, what do you expect? You figure I should get a job? Make money so I can go shopping for food and clothes? Go get an education?”

**[He has a point.]**

“Are you some kind of fuckin’ succubus--incubus..thing or what? All you wanna do is fuck around and shit. Like what even is the purpose of you?? You haunting me or something?”

The creature let out a raspy laugh, “ _Wow. Uh, yeah sure, if it makes you happy. I guess you can put it like that_?”

“Well _stop_! Now thanks to _you_ , my life is even _shittier_ \--at the moment!”

“ _Sounds like a personal problem_.”

**(Sooooo are we gunna suck each other off or anything cause this is getting boring--OH! OH! We can do _more_  than just hand and blow jobs now that he’s in Peter’s body right? _Dude_!)**

“ _Shut it_. Shut your stupid fucking mouth!” Wade clenched his fist, daring to punch the fucker in the the stomach but held back and shook him by neck, banging the back of the fake hero’s head against the tree bark. Honestly, he was glad that he couldn’t see under the mask, this would be a lot harder otherwise.

The shadow moaned, “Oh Wade, when you get pissed like that it gets me hot~” It arched it’s back and Wade’s eyes followed every curve.

**(Fuck dude! It’s consent right?? You like consent! You think consent is sexy! Grab that ass and grind it for the love of _GOD_! Peter will never know right??)**

**[Gotta say, I’m totally feeling it right now.]**

The shadow’s hand trailed up Wade’s arm, “Come on Wade, I won’t tell if you don't. Besides, Peter will like it! It’s not like his _girlfriend_ can please this body like I know you can, Wade~ Believe me, I’ve seen them have sex and it’s always a _little_ weird. A little too slow in my opinion. This guy’s seemed a little down lately and there’s nothing that is a better pick-me-up than a good, hard fuck, straight into the mattress.” He bucked his hips forward, barely grazing Wade’s crotch, “Come on baby, I’m so ready for it. I want you cock inside me, hitting me in all the right places~ I want you to make me cum without even touching me, mmmm~”

**(I think I have a boner.)**

Wade’s arm was shaking and the shadow could feel it, and it egged it on. Wade’s body felt hot and he was feeling conflicted on what to do, when he knew that he shouldn't. He knew that this wasn’t something he should think about, he knew that he should just stop this now, but hearing Peter say those things made all common sense go straight to the tip of his dick.

**[I think I also have a boner.]**

**(Good. Then it’s  decided. Everyone in this park now has a boner. Now let’s DO something about it please?!)**

Wade clenched tighter on the other’s throat, thinking that it wouldn’t hurt the boy to just make him pass out, and it would surely make Wade feel a helluva lot better.

“Mmmnn, asphyxiation was on my TO DO list. You know me so w-well Wade.” The shadow struggled to breathe but showed  no signs of passing out so Wade put more pressure around the neck, actually concerned that it might snap in two, “Come on, I can feel how hot you are through your suit. Fuck, Wade, I wanna suck you off...have you cum down my throat. I...I’ve always wanted you to touch me, to just take me from behind and _wreck_ me.”

“Fuck it.” The merc pulled his arm back and drove his fist straight into the hero’s jaw. He watched Spider-man fall to the dirt as he cracked his knuckles, “ Oh, you don’t know how bad I want to _wreck_ you right now you ‘lil shit!”

(Aaaauugghhh _no_! This is the _opposite_  of what I wanted!!)

Wade straddled the body, pressing a hand hard against the faker’s injured shoulder, not waiting for it to get it’s bearings back and once again reared his fist back and drove it home into  Peter’s face. He pulled back again and again and again, taking pleasure in the pained grunts coming from the abused throat. He wished he could see how fucked up it looked under the mask.

**[ _WOAH_. Dude, pull it back a little.]**

**(Going a little overboard there champ! He can’t suck a dick with a broken jaw!)**

**[Technically, he could take in more with an unhinged jaw.]**

There were more moans, hurt groans, and suddenly Peter’s hands shot up to defend his face but Wade punched right through them. He felt glee when he could feel the figure try to curl in on itself in defense, but unable to with Wade pinning it down.

“W-Wade--!”

Wade punched again, hearing something crack.

“W…”

Another punch to the same spot.

“St--op...Please Wade _stop_!!”

Before another punch could connect with the face below him, Wade froze. The plea sounded so... _real_. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, “...Spidey?” He quickly got off the smaller form and Peter rolled over onto his side and lifted the mask up his nose, immediately spitting out blood that seemed to flow out like water. As Peter choked on the blood, all Wade could do was watch. That fucker just bailed out of Peter’s body and Wade lost control and hurt Peter…. _again_. “Spidey, Hey!” Wade reached out to rub the hero’s back in comfort and apology, but Peter smacked his hand away,

“Don’t _touch_ me! Stay the hell back!” Peter breathed shakily, groaning as he wiped the blood from his cut lips. His breathing was heavy and Wade felt a weight in his stomach.

* * *

 

There was a silence as Peter just focused on breathing and Wade watched. After a while, Peter managed to sit on his butt, gaze not meeting Wades. He could feel Wade’s stare on him though, and it made him uncomfortable. He was angry; he was very, _very_ angry. But he was also aware. It was like he wasn’t in control of his own body, even though he was _there_. He couldn’t control his own mouth, words just flew out. Peter glanced up at wade, wiping his mouth again, and immediately looked away when he met the merc’s gaze. His whole face hurt. He was sure he was going to have bruises that would be impossible to hide. Peter sniffed and almost choked on  the blood that ran down his throat, which in turn opened up the floodgates in his nose.

“Shit, Spidey. I think you’re nose is broken!”

“You _think_?? And who’s fault do you think that is?!”

Wade didn’t make the witty response that he expected, “I know...It’s my fault and, you know, my bad...I didn’t _mean_ to. You were _possessed_! I didn’t know what the hell to do! It was making me feel weird things and confusing me! I didn’t want to hurt you, honest!He was saying all sorts of weird things and---”

Peter held up his hand, pinching his nose with the other. He sniffed again, finally looking over to Wade in all seriousness, “I know, I was there. I...heard what he was saying.” He felt his face heat up in embarrassment, “You don’t have to explain.”

Now it was Wade’s turn to look away, “I really didn’t expect any of this to happen.”

“Just stop talking.” Peter’s voice was soft and he felt a headache coming on. He knew that Wade wasn’t being purposefully malicious, and he was sounding so damn sincere right now, and it was hard to keep angry even with the pain wracking his entire head. “I….um…” How should he say this? He didn’t even know what he was trying to say, “I’m really pissed at you because this whole mess is one-hundred percent your fault, but…I guess...I appreciate you not, I dunno..” This was so much harder than he imagined, saying something like this out loud, “...for not taking advantage of me.”

Wade blinked behind his mask, obviously hearing someone _thank_ him for not taking advantage of them wasn’t felt as a positive thing.

“I mean, you could have done...things. God, I can’t believe it really took me over like that.” Peter shook his head, putting his hand to his forehead, “I couldn’t do anything about it...and those things it said...You realize it wasn’t me saying _any_ of that stuff….right?” He didn't want to have to explain this, "I don't want you to get confused about any of this--whatever  _this_ is." He felt sick to his stomach thinking of the disgusting way the shadow made him speak, what it made him _say_. He shook his head, feeling like he needed to defend himself, "I don't _do_ that kind of stuff. I would never say those kinds of things. I--That...that wasn't me..."

“Of _course_ I did Spidey! If it was you--the _real_ you saying that stuff, believe me, the situation would be a _lot_ different right now! But you thanking me for not taking _advantage_ of you doesn’t sit right with me. I don’t know what kind of person you think I am --besides a Killer of  bad people, psycho, funniest guy on the planet, smooth talker, and handsome devil-- but I _don't_ do those kinds of things! I get that we don’t know each other, and you don’t WANT to get to know me, but I’d like to get to know _you_ a bit and stuff. I’m really not as bad as I seem probably. I mean, all the rumors you hear are definitely true, but you can hang out with me and make your own rumors sometime! Sure I’m a bad guy, but I’m not a _bad guy_. Ya dig? You catch what I’m throwin’ at cha? You smell what the Rock is cookin’?”

“Are you asking me out after you just pummeled my face into oblivion?”

“Too soon?”

Peter didn’t respond but instead stood up, lightheaded, and Wade followed suit.

“No wait! I was kidding kinda Pete----zza?”

The bruised up hero slowly turned his head up to look at Wade, “....what?”

“HAHA! You  _know_ \--for our _date_! Piiiiizzzaa!”

Peter stared, wide-eyed behind his mask “Oh my God.”

“What? You don’t like pizza?”

“Oh my _God_!” Realization hit Peter as he put his hands on his head and started to pace. That _thing_ said his name! It said his name and Wade didn’t react to it at all. “Oh my God you knew. You _knew_ my name!”

“Whaaaaatt? What name? Your name?? _Pssssshhh_ Naaawwww. Only your first name.”

Holy shit holy SHIT! When did he find out? That shadow thing told him; it had been following Peter around so it was really no surprise, but he was VERY surprised that Wade knew. Who knew what else Wade knew---other than he had a _girlfriend_ now! SHIT! This was bad, this was so bad!

“Uhh, you okay Spidey? Jeeze, I know your name is super simple, but it’s not _terrible_.” Wade’s eyes followed Peter’s form, “You’re breathing kind of hard there.”

Peter wheezed, “I’m... _fine_! Totally... _fine_!” He jumped when he felt a hand pat his shoulder,

“Dude, calm down! I know what you’re thinking, but there’s a _million_ Peter’s out there! I’m not gunna find out your secret identity from just your first name. I mean, I’m sure I _could_ if I wanted too but eeeeehhh, research is for squares and scientists.”

Peter didn’t respond for a moment as he calmed down his breathing. Wade was right, there’s no way that he could find out who he was just from his first name. But there was something else...He looked up at Wade, “....has he shown you my face?”

* * *

 

Wade could hear the hero’s voice shake. Was he really that terrified of him finding out his identity? When he thought about it, he could understand, but it still sucked. When was the last time he even did something to make Spidey so god damn anxious around him?

**[You mean besides murder people?]**

**(And not _regular_ murdering either! Like.. _super_ murder them!)**

**[Limbs everywhere.]**

True.

“Naw, dude I don't know what you look like, with your chestnut brown hair and big brown eyes.”

“...Oh...My _God_.”

“Wait! Was I right!? Hahaha _dude_! I was totally fucking around there! No way! Now I’m _totally_ curious!”

“I… I gotta go. I’m going now.”

“Hold on a sec! You’re all wobbly and shit, you sure I didn’t give you some kind of concussion? Your head whipped pretty hard there a few times... To be real, I wasn’t holding back.” The merc followed the trails of blood coming from underneath the mask; Peter’s nose wouldn’t stop bleeding and he couldn’t help but feel guilty.

Peter waved the hand that was still on his shoulder off of him “I’ll be fine. I just need to go rest. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” He hid a wince as he felt pain shoot up his shoulder. _Great_. Peter shook his head to clear his vision before turning his back to Wade.

“Can I say something?”

Peter stopped and looked over his shoulder but didn’t say a word.

Wade took a breath, “Sorry for all this.” he waved his hands around, motioning to nothing in particular, “Sorry about everything from before, and today. I’m not really good at this apologizing thing if you didn’t notice but like...I’d take it all back if I could. I feel super shitty, and I just figured that you wouldn’t find out so why not? I mean I knew it wasn’t okay in the first place but I mean it when I say I don’t mess around with that guy anymore. I know you don’t trust me and don’t believe me but I really do respect you; you’re my hero. I also know that sometimes I really piss you off, most of the time on purpose, but this time it was an accident! Like, okay _sure_ I wanna date you super hard, _sure_ I think about you almost constantly, _sure_ you make me wanna try to be a better person and stop un-aliving so many people, and _sure_ I wanna hold your hand and swing it back and forth sometimes, but if you dont want to then I’m _totally_ chill with that. It’s not a big deal it only kills me a little inside but that's _nothing_ compared to the other things that kill me, so I can live with it! Hahaha, I kinda _have_ to!” He paused, and when Peter just stood there without responding it urged Wade to continue nervously, “SoyeahIjustwantedtoapologizeforallthestupidshitI’vedonerecentlysoifyoucouldgivemeanotherchanceIknowthatwecouldbesuperawesomeherobuddiesandeveryonewouldbesuperjealousofusandevenifyoudon’twannabefriendsIunderstandit’snotabigdealIjustdon’tknowwhatelseIcandotoprovetoyouthatI’msorryandyou’rerightthatIdon’thavemanyfriendsandIdunnoIthinkyou’resupercoolandstuffsoImeanifyoueverwantedtohangoutforrealthatwouldbe--”

“Wade, stop.” Peter silenced the babbling man, “I can’t do this right now.” He bent forward , clinging to his head in pain, “Just…” he groaned, “..this is too much for me right now.” All the recent events made

“Right--Uh, okay yeah! You just go get some rest and stuff!” Wade looked to his left, then his right, “I think that shadow is gone for now, so it should be okay. I’d offer to walk you back to your spider cave but…” His voice trailed off as Peter shook his head, and waved a dismissive hand.

“See you later, Deadpool.”

**( _Ooooh_ , the old _Deadpool_ card!)**

**[This has definitely been a weird night. But we’ve had weirder.]**

**(At least he talked to us again!)**

**[Barely.]**

**(Better than not at all! I smell progress in the air~!)**

“Later... _Peter_.” Wade grinned and laughed when the hero stopped in his tracks a moment and hissed a ‘D _on't call me that are you crazy!?_ ’ before he hurried his way out of the park. Was it really progress though? It didn’t seem that Peter wanted anything to do with him. It didn't even seem like his apology was accepted at all. Wade clenched his fist and punched the trunk of the tree so hard his knuckles busted open, so he did it again. “Dammit.”

* * *

 

Wade sat on his couch, fresh from a shower, and wearing his usual blue boxers with Spider-man’s face littered all over it. His skin was tight, and he never knew if a warm shower really helped because now matter how he felt it always hurt like a bitch. He picked at the skin on his hand, it was itchy, and he was too lazy to get his cream. Picking at it actually felt a little good. It was like when it feels like there was something stuck in your teeth but its nothing and you keep picking at your gums and it really hurts but you can't stop picking at it cause it kinda also feels good at the same time even though it makes you wanna cry.

Flakes of skin fell to the floor as he  became lost in thought. So Spidey didn’t want to hang out, it’s not like he needed the hero for anything _before_ they met--before he started crushing on him. He was always lonely, but it’s not like just being with Peter made him less lonely, being with _anyone_ made him less lonely. Hell, even the voices made him feel less lonely. He didn’t _need_ Peter in his life, but he _wanted_ him there, but if he wasn’t there then whatever it wasn’t that bigga deal. There were a million dudes to to choose from! He was sure that there were some guys that had some kind of fetish for men that were ugly as sin!

**(Girls too!!)**

**[You have to find those types on the internet though.]**

Wade scratched at his cheek, not noticing the blood that was staining his fingertips. So then what was he to do now? The shadow was going to keep following him around--and Spidey too. How was he supposed to figure out how to deal with any of these without a hero’s help? Maybe he should ask some kind of scientist? Maybe Weasel can help him out. He was a smart guy, he should know _something_  that could help out. He really needed to get out of this city. This was getting way too fucking much for him. All he was doing was fucking things up one after another and now he couldn't even go visit his daughter when he actually had the time to!

**(You know, I always figured that Spidey would be taken! He's too good for us, so he must have been good enough for someone else!)**

It was true. What would make him think that he actually could have had a chance with Peter, and trying to make up? Whats the  _point_?? What's the point of trying to be friends with the dude he had a hard-on for while he has a girlfriend that would be  _crazy_  to break up with him, and Peter would be  _crazy_ to ever find him attractive enough to even smile at. Leave it to him to fall for a straight guy.

The merc hung his head and stared at the red gunk that was now underneath his fingernails. He was so fucking stupid. _everything_ was so fucking stupid. He wished he could just sit here and rot. Of course that wasn’t impossible, he could rot, just not decompose, and decomposing sounded like the best part! He groaned.

Wade looked over to his phone when it rung a tone. ' _To grab or not to grab?' That is the question._ “Naw I don’t feel like it, it’s too far. I already did stuff today, I don’t need to do _more_ stuff.” He looked around his livingroom, “Though if it’s a job, I could do with some wallpaper to hide that hole I punched in the wall that one time...or just add another bookshelf there. That might be easier. Maybe I’ll buy that dog I saw--or maybe just take one from a homeless. Those ones are usually the most loyal.”

He sighed dramatically and groaned like an old man with a bad back as he got up from his resting spot and walked to his TV set where his phone rested upon. He grabbed it and immediately sat back down in the depression of his couch, sighing again and flipping it on. He blinked in surprise as he read, and re-read the message that he received.

_< Baby Boy> My favorite color is blue._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello! Sorry for the long delays!  
> The truth is, I'm not a writer! I'm actually an artist! So my personal stories often get in the way of my updates here!  
> If you wanna follow me on twitter, please feel free! https://twitter.com/KizzyBits  
> Or even tumblr! http://kizzybits.tumblr.com/
> 
> Don't forget to Kudos and/or Comment! It REALLY keeps me going and I respond to everyone! I love hearing your thoughts and feelings about what you just read! (:


	10. We're cool, right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade and Peter make future plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Sorry for the EXTREMELY LONG WAIT!! But I moved across the country (moving again soon) and its been pretty hectic and busy! But I managed to finish writing this little chapter just hoping it can appease you guys a bit!  
> I know it's not much, please forgive me, but I didn't want you guys to wait much longer for some content;;;  
> Please enjoy what I have for you today!  
> Comment and Kudos are always welcome!! (:

“Your eye’s looking better. Still bruised, but at least it’s open now. How does it feel?” Gwen touched the bruise lightly as she sat next to Peter on his Aunty May’s livingroom couch.

“It feels okay, better than it did. I get random headaches from time to time though.” His aunt had freaked out when she had invited him to dinner days after the incident with Wade happened, and no hoodie could hide the state his face was in. She cried, and he hate when she cried because it made him feel like thanks to him, she would feel sad and worried for weeks. He had made up the excuse of having an accident on his bike that had made him pummeled by the road. He wasn’t sure if that was the best excuse or is she even believed him, but she then ranted about how she told him it was dangerous to ride a bike in the city and why didn’t he wear a helmet. He felt bad about lying about it, but what else could he do?

He didn’t give Gwen the specifics, just told her that he had a run-in with a few villains and that had _really_ pissed her off. They’d gotten into another argument about how much longer was he going to be putting himself in such dangerous situations and how worried she always is about him being seriously injured and not coming back to her. It was extremely tough, but since then they’ve cooled down, which he was really glad for. He didn’t like fighting with Gwen, and every time they fought, he thought that that would be the final straw and she’d leave him. He didn’t want that.

“Thank you two for coming by tonight and helping me make dinner.” May smiled as she stepped into the room from the kitchen and wrung her hands with a towel, “It’s been quite some time since I’ve seen you Gwen, I’m so happy that you could make it over here with Peter. I heard that your job tires you out a lot.”

“Yes mam, it does, but you know that I can always make time for you. It’s stressful but it pays the bills.” She smiled sweetly but Peter couldn’t help that the first statement was a jab at him, but he didn’t make any indication that he noticed.

“Ah, yes,” May responded, “All the exciting jobs are taken these days, I suppose.” May laughed, “I miss when one of my jobs was to look after little Peter and making sure that there were no monsters in his closet or under his bed.” She laughed behind her hand and Peter’s face flushed with embarrassment.

“Aunt May!”

“Oh Peter, is that why you always call me at night? You want me to tell those bad ol’ monsters to leave you alone?” Gwen taunted and Peter rolled his eyes with a forced smile.

“No offence ladies, but I can deal with monsters myself these days. The trick is to hide under the covers before they see you; It’s like an invisible shield.”

Gwen snorted out a laugh that was followed by his aunt’s cheerful giggles as she slapped him on the arm, “Oh I missed that charm of yours.” The older woman sat in the armchair that was once favored by his uncle Ben, a big smile on her face. She was always so happy when he visited with Gwen, happier than when it was just him alone. He knew that she really liked Gwen, which always in turn made him happy as well, but he wished that she was like this all the time. When he would come over by himself, he could see just how tired the woman was, how stressed she seemed even when she smiled at him, and how sad she look when she thought he couldn’t see her. He hated that he couldn’t make the woman who raised him happy by himself; he wished his aunt could just not always...not be sad.

_TING TING TING~_

Peter jumped out of his thoughts when his butt vibrated from his phone notifying him of a received message. He reached back to grab it as it continued to chime and stood up.

“Peter?” Gwen questioned the brunette’s sudden movement and was about to stand as well, but he motioned her to keep sitting,

“I’m going to step outside for a second okay? I’ll be really quick.”

“Why do you have to go outside? Just answer them here--”

“Oh, boys and their privacy!” May jumped in, “I guess he’s still at that age.” She laughed behind her hand, “Go on, Peter, I wanted to show Gwen your naked baby pictures anyway.”

“Oh yeah! I’ve been wanting to see that little toosh!” Gwen laughed as she scooted herself on the couch to be closer to May’s armchair.

Peter snorted and shook his head with a slight smile, “Just remember, you’re dating that cute little toosh. Don’t make fun of it too much.” He waved his hand and made his way outside, closing the door behind him. The night was cold and quiet, he could see his breath when he let out a heavy sigh. He heard a loud laugh from Gwen inside the house chuckled, glad that the two women got along so well. Peter looked to his phone and scrolled through the messages.

_< Wade> Heeeeeeyyyy baby boy! U busy?_

_< Wade> Ya me 2 its pretty craycray right now. Theres this episode of Golden Girls on and its of the mother fuckin’ god damn chain! It alwys is though but this ep especially! 2 bad ur missing it unless u dont wanna miss it i mean i have evert ep on dvd_

_< Wade> *every_

_< Wade> Bee tee dubbs did you SEE the sky 2day?? Wasnt it like super BLUE?????_

_< Wade> Liek omg it was really blue like not ocean blue but like more like the blue of a cartoon characters tear but then it was weird right cuz it looked liek it had strands of powder blue in it!_

_< Wade> I know a lot about blues even the music kinda gets me in a good mood u no? Do you like cupcakes cuz i got this blue food coloring and i was thinkin of doing sumthin with it_

Peter laughed at the ridiculousness of what Wade was saying. Ever since the merc found out his favorite color it was always a topic in their conversations and a way for Wade to figure out anything else the boy might like...like cupcakes. He found it hilarious, it was an amusing game he played with himself, usually looking at the clock to time how long it would take for Wade to bring up his favorite color. Sure, it could get annoying when the man wanted to know if he wanted to hang out and watch Blue’s Clues while he was having alone time, but for the most part he didn’t mind. He made sure not to seem too amused when he responded though; the last thing he needed was for Wade to get overly excited and consider them as BFFs 5ever.

There were so many things with Wade that were just... _wrong_. So many things about the man made him nervous, anxious, and even disgusted. He was, for the most part, a good distraction when he really needed it. Peter hardly ever initiated conversation, but whenever he did, Wade responded right away, and that in itself was a comfort. Whenever he felt guilty about it, he tried to tell himself that it was okay because Wade  _liked_  to talk to him, so what was the harm in that?

After the incident in the park, when Peter reached his apartment, he thought about the words Wade had said to him, and reflected on the annoying ways Wade and tried to apologize to him. He was such a shitty person and even shittier to see sincere things Wade was trying to do as only a burden. He didn’t like it, but he knew that the merc wasn’t _trying_ to piss him off the way he had. He spent a while debating on what he would do. He didn’t forgive Wade for what he did, not really, but he could appreciate the effort the man made, and he guessed that was something to take into consideration even though there were times he just wanted to tell him to fuck off and leave him alone. Sometimes he even wondered if Wade really was keeping true to his word about the Shadow...it’s a little hard to believe.

There were also so many questions he had about what Wade had told him that night in the park, but there was no way he could just outright ask about it! He was extremely curious and it made his body shake whenever he thought about confronting the merc about it. It was too hard…

_TING TING TING~_

“Oh my God.” Peter really tried not to, but he ended up laughing under his breath at the picture he received from Wade. The mercenary was in his suit, with a robe draped over him, while a fire was lit in his fireplace behind him and he had a glass of wine in hand. What got Peter’s attention at first was the fact that the man wasn’t wearing his boots, but instead, was wearing bright, neon blue socks on his feet that was followed by the message:

_< Wade> Like wut u C?_

“God dammit Wade.” Peter shook his head, secretly glad that the man could make things awkward without making things...awkward. Well, sometimes anyway. Peter was never good at mending old wounds with others; he’d always make conversations awkward and uncomfortable, but at least Wade seemed to make it as if nothing ever happened, and it actually made Peter more comfortable than talking things out. He would love to avoid any kind of talks like that, and Wade hadn’t mentioned any at all and was still being his dumb self despite Peter not being...into him. Though it was weird, Wade just used his flirting in the most joking manner it was hard to take him seriously, and to Peter it was obvious that he was just being the class clown, so it just made things….not so bad.

_< Baby Boy> No, I don’t. Those socks are teal. I hate them._

_< Wade> U wound me Petey!! Im like legit crying rite now I wish u were here 2 see all these tears!_

_< Wade> Mind if I call you Petey? Pete. Peetterrrrrr. Makes things less suspish amirite?_

_< Baby Boy> You’re pushing it._

_< Wade> Naw, but I’ll push it if you want me 2! <333333 O _ ^ *WINK WONK*_

_< Wade> Hahaha world’s worst innuendo but I tried._

All Peter could do was roll his eyes and wondered if there was an actual reason the merc texted him, which he knew was unlikely but he still wanted to ask. He didn’t need to be standing out here all night and getting questioned by his aunt and girlfriend about why he was taking so long.

_< Baby Boy> Did you actually want something or are you just having fun getting on my nerves?_

_< Wade> Oh Petey~ A little bit of both!_

_< Wade> Are you patrolling rn? U NEED SOME HELP?? We haven’t patrolled together in fucking forevs!!_

What should he say to something like that? Well, no point in lying, it’s not like Wade could find out where he was. Besides, he didn’t want to give the man false hope in trying to find him on the rooftops.

_< Baby Boy> No, I’m not patrolling tonight._

_< Wade> I just gasped!! U take days off?? Lookit you, Mr. Goody Two-Shoes playing hooky!! Thats kinda hot._

_< Baby Boy> Ew._

_< Wade> Btw hows ur face? ur nose any better? It looked like it was coming off its hinges! Remember to use that cream if u got any scars it totally helps!_

Peter stared at the phone in thought. The truth was, he hadn’t even thought about using the cream Wade had given to him. He didn’t even want to _think_ about his time with the merc since he gave it to him. Just thinking about it made a sliver of anger suddenly run through him, because even though it was a nice gesture, he didn’t like the circumstances in which it was given. He _really_ didn’t like that the merc had even seen his scars. The thought made him subconsciously pull at his long sleeves. The scars that Wade had were... _different_ from his. They weren’t the same, so he couldn’t even compare their situations. Wade’s hands looked like they had been burned or something, while Peter’s….He didn’t want to discuss this.

_< Baby Boy> Hey. I need to get going. I’m kind of busy right now._

_< Wade> Of corse. rite-O! Sure thang chicken wang. Text me whenever! Im always free 4 u bbboy O 3 ^ *WINK* <3 <3 <33333333_

\-------------------------------------------

“Gwen, is everything going well between you and Peter?” May asked, concerned as she noticed the zoned out gaze the young woman was giving the far off wall. She was usually so alert and chipper, but May had noticed from the last few visits that even though Peter seemed alright, Gwen seemed a bit distant when her nephew’s attention was focused elsewhere.

“Hm?” Gwen blinked and fixed her hunched posture to sit up straight, “Sorry, aunt May, I must have spaced out! What were you saying?” She responded apologetically.

“Dear, you don’t seem yourself lately, is everything alright? Is Peter treating you well?”

Had she been that open with her expressions lately? Gwen frowned; she didn’t want to cause any trouble or worry with the older woman, but May was very good at reading her, she noticed. Gwen didn’t mean to seem upset, but it was hard not to these days. “He’s..fine. I mean, he treats me fine, aunt May I promise! He’s great.” Her tone was flat and it made May’s mouth twist into another frown, a suspicious frown.

“You know what I said about lying to me dear. Do I need to speak with him for you?”

Gwen waved her hands in front of her, “No no no! No, aunt May, he didn’t do anything on purpose.”

“Okay? Then, what did he not do on purpose, if you don’t mind me asking? I don’t mean to be nosey, dear, but I care when my nephew or his girlfriend seem unhappy.”

Gwen gently shook her head and looked to the floor, “It’s nothing too drastic, and maybe it’s just me thinking too much on things...but sometimes the way he acts is just a bit strange to me? I mean, he’s always been this way, but I kind of expected it to change once we got more comfortable with each other, you know? I know he loves me, but sometimes...I don’t know aunt May, sometimes I feel like I’m some kind of burden for him.”

May sat up straight, “Oh, my, no! Gwen, Peter _loves_ you! I can assure you of that fact! Oh, honey, you are all he ever talks about when he comes by. He tells me of how great you are and how he’s lucky to have you.” The older woman gave the younger a gentle, reassuring smile, “There shouldn’t be a doubt in your mind about that.”

Gwen gave a small smile back to the woman before looking back to the floor, “I know but...sometimes our relationship just feels strained. Sometimes I have to literally _beg_ him to spend time with me. I mean, I know he’s busy but, if you want to be in a relationship, you just have to _make_ time, you know? _I_ do.” She shrugged and May nodded in agreement. “And there’s this...THING he does--or more like, I do, and he really hates it and it’s aggravating. If I want to give him a hug from behind, he gets really stiff and twitchy, irritated. Like when I touch here?” She put her hands on waist to demonstrate her point, “He freaks out! At first I thought maybe it was because I snuck up on him and he’s really jittery, but it happens almostEVERY single time. He even shoved me once because of it---not on purpose mind you aunt May, it was an accident, but I didn’t expect it. I asked him what his deal was and he said that he just doesn't like me touching him there...like, it's hard to give him any kind of hug and he tells me that he just ‘doesn't like it’. It’s not all the time, but it’s most times, like it just depends on his mood or something I don’t know. It just makes me feel so insecure and, well... _gross_. Like me touching him just...makes him upset and uncomfortable. This isn’t in all cases, just...MOST cases.” She sighed and slumped back, “And then other times, I feel like he loves me _too_ much...or rather, just loves the security of having a girlfriend…Like does he love me, or just love the IDEA of me?”She quickly looked up to Peter’s aunt, realising that she rambled on. She never got a chance to talk to anyone about how she felt in this relationship, she kept everything to herself for the most part, especially because bringing this stuff up with Peter seemed to give him anxiety. May stayed quiet and listened intently, it was hard not to spill her guts to her, she just needed to keep herself in check of the things she said, “Oh man, I’m sorry aunt May! How embarrassing, me rambling on like that. I must seem awful. I’m not saying Peter is a bad guy or anything, there are just some things I don’t understand that I wish he’d tell me. Things are just kind of wibbly wobbly right now.”

May shook her head in understanding, “No, it’s alright Gwen. There’s no need for you to apologize. I just wonder...What do you mean, dear, when you said he just loves the security of having a girlfriend?”

The door handle squeaked as Peter stepped in and froze in the entryway as the two women inside stared at him, “Uh...hi?” His eyes darted around the room, “Should I have knocked or..?”

May smiled and gave a sweet laugh behind her hand, “I was just telling Gwen of the time you spilled your candy in the dirt when you were just a boy!” She turned to Gwen and pat the blonde’s knee, “Oh, poor thing got so sad and started picking them all up and didn’t realize that he picked up a beetle until he ate it when he thought no one was looking!”

“Aunt May! You told me it was okay because I needed protein anyway!” He closed the door behind him, feeling slightly embarrassed of the story but couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ew, Bug Breath.” Gwen smirked as she stood up and playfully nudged his shoulder

“You love it.” He shoved back.

“I do.” She wrapped her arms around one of Peter’s, and when she didn’t feel him tense, she held tighter with a smile.

May stood up and fixed her shirt, “Well, you two, it’s about that time isn’t it?” She walked up to the couple and rubbed Peter’s arm before pulling him into a hug and pat his back, “Oh, Peter, you know it’s always nice of you to visit. My door is always open for you, even if I’m not around.”

“I know aunt May. I’ll try to visit more often.”

May slid a hand to her nephew’s cheek, giving it a light pat, “I’d enjoy that very much Peter. Who else is going to be my guinea pig for any new recipes I want to try out?”

“I dunno, maybe you can get a guinea pig? I’m sure it will survive whatever you cook up for it.”

May slapped Peter’s shoulder with a high pitched laugh before going over to Gwen and hugging her shoulders, “Contact me if you need anything dear. You have my number.”

“Thanks aunt May.” Gwen leaned in and gave May’s cheek a light kiss before the couple turned to head out the door.

“Goodnight you two! Don’t be strangers! And call me in a few days Peter, keep me updated on how things are going, you too missy!”

“Yes mam!” Bot Gwen and Peter responded as they headed out into the night.

Neither of them heard the small sigh that escaped past May’s lips, or the worried crease that formed between her brows.

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

It took a while for Peter to properly respond. Whenever Wade would ask about patrolling, the younger man would _kiiiiiiiinda_  say no? In a way?

**[Basically he was avoiding us.]**

**( _Us_? No way, this is all on the big guy. Peter _loved_  me and you!)**

**[I can agree with that.]**

**(Anyway, let’s look at some examples of what the narrative is talkin’ bout!)**

_< Wade> Hey baby boy! U busy 2day?_

_< Baby boy> Yes._

_< Wade> O YEAH? Doin what? Patrolling?? ARE YOU PATROLLING PETE?_

_< Baby Boy> I have a lot of things to do so sorry, I gotta get going._

**( _OOOooooo_ OUCH!)**

**[Next one.]**

_< Baby Boy> Yeah, I caught the perp yesterday. It’s always unnerving to have to police call me for help when most of them apparently hate my guts._

_< Wade> Oh man I no the feeling! One time I had to help IRON MAN outta a pickle once! he still never thanked me out loud but I no he thanked me in his heart! :D_

_< Baby Boy> Whatever helps you sleep at night._

_< Wade> I sleep like a god damn baby thank u very little!_

_< Wade> Speaking of crime and helping and shit_

_< Wade> U up 4 patrolling 2nite?_

_< Wade>Pete_

_< Wade> Peeetterrrrr_

_< Wade PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTEEEEYYYY!!!!!!_

_< Baby Boy> oh, sorry, in a meeting with the guys, gotta go._

_< Wade> omfg_

**[The plot thickens.]**

**(Hahahahaa, it was kinda funny to see Wade talk himself out of thinking that Peter was just avoiding him, when obviously, he was!)**

**[He always responds pretty fast until we ask about patrolling, then he suddenly gets busy.]**

It was weird, because Wade thought that he and the hero had settled their differences, but apparently Peter was still weary of him. Did he think Wade was going to flip out on him again or something? Didn’t he know that it wasn’t just some random act of violence?

**(Let’s show one more!)**

_< Wade> Hey how r u doin?_

_< Baby Boy> well_

_< Wade> YEAH COOL SO U WANNA PATROL??_

_< Baby Boy> I actually have some stuff to take care of tonight_

_< Wade> R U AVOIDING ME? I FEEL LIKE UR AVOIDING ME. IS THIS A THING?_

_< Baby Boy> You’re being paranoid. Anyway I’ll talk to you later Wade._

**(Fuckin’ _DENIED_!)**

**[And that’s why we are here tonight. Sitting in this dustyass, rundown building.]**

“This building is like, in the center of where the usual shady stuff goes down! It’s a perfect spot!” Wade adjusted the giant headphones on his head, trying to get them to rest comfortably over what was left of his ear-holes that were covered by his mask. An oversized police scanner sat between his legs and he turned the big red dial on on the front back and forth, trying to get a signal.

**(This hasn't worked the last three times! Spidey wasn’t at any of the other spots we signaled in on!)**

**[He’s usually in places before the police, so he was probably there and we just missed him.]**

**(Yeah! It’s not like HE has a police scanner--does he?)**

**[I think he just swings around till he finds something.]**

**(Oh DUH! Like when we patrol! Why don’t we just go roof hopping? Seems easier than THIS shit. This is boring as fuck.)**

"Will you two shut the hell up? It's hard to hear while yall are being constantly obnoxious!"

**(Well it's hard to TALK when you're being a stalker!)**

“I’m not _stalking_! I’m _helping_!”

**[In what way?]**

**(Yeah! You just _leave_ when Spidey isn’t at the scene of the crime!)**

“Yeah, but that’s _after_ I knock the criminal out for wasting my time!” Wade twisted the dial again and his head perked up as the sound of police officers and and operator  conversed about a nearby crime. This one sounded pretty tame, but not _too_ tame for a spider hero not to intervene! “FUCK YEAH! Got some bait for the little fishy!” He pointed a finger in no particular direction, “Let’s go boys! Onward, in the name of friendship!”

**[In the name of desperation.]**

\--------------------------------------------

Spider-man pulled on the rope-like web over a thick ceiling rafter, pulling up the two beat up criminals that were swinging in a tangle of webs. “Nice of you guys to  _hang out_ with me---huh. I feel like I say that one a lot. I really need to think of better ones.” He walked over to the perps, giving the tangle of limbs a slight push as the two men swung in their tight prison, “Guess I just need to get in the _swing_ of things?”

“ _Boo_!” one of them hissed.

“That didn’t even make sense! Now you’re just sayin’ stuff!” groaned the other before rolling his eyes.

“Some people have no sense of humor.”

Suddenly a loud laugh echoed throughout the dusty warehouse and Peter cringed. He knew that laugh; only one person could laugh that...obnoxiously. He sighed and turned around, squinting to see Wade standing atop a large metal crate.

“Spidey, you are _hilarious_! That’s what I always liked about you, charming _and_ funny! But I’m sure you knew that already!” The merc jumped off of the crate in what Peter could only assume was a bone shattering landing from the way he tried to pretend he wasn’t limping afterwards, “I mean I would have been more like ‘Hey Deadpool let’s get married so we can be _newlywebs_!’ but ya know, whatever,we each have our own sense of humor.” Wade gave his foot  shake, seeming completely fine, unnerving the young hero.

“Deadpool, what are you doing here? If you’re on a hit for one of these guys--”

“One of _these_ guys? Hahaha, oh Spidey, I would never be asked to take a hit on someone who can be defeated by a _web_ of all things.” Just then, Wade's wrists were webbed together and Spider-man scoffed.

“Gee, thanks. What do you want then? How did you even know I was here?”

There were sounds of sirens in the distance and Spider-man took that as his cue to leave. “Actually nevermind, I don’t care.” He waved a dismissive hand at Deadpool before turning to face the tangled crooks with his hands on his hips. “Thanks for--” He paused, looking over at the merc stiffly, “uh..” he slowly looked back at his two other audience members, “... _sticking_ around?”

Two loud, disappointed sighs filled the room, followed by a clap from the merc, which in turn just made the hero shake his head. “This is why I will never quit my day job.” He took a step and heard it echo behind him, as did when he took another, and another. He paused, sighing to himself before quickly turning around and pointing behind the merc’s shoulder, “HOLY SHIT DEADPOOL! Is that a whole _crate_ of chimichangas??”

“FUCK _WHERE_?!” Wade stupidley looked behind him and to the far corners of the room, "Which crate?? They all look the same how do you even kno--” He froze when the realization hit him after he saw the exhausted looks on the criminal’s faces and the disappointed shakes of their heads. He quickly looked back over to see that Spider-man was gone, “Huh. Who would have thought that the great Spider-man would trick me, an anti-hero, like that? Little rascal is playing hard to get!” Wade gave a farewell two handed salute to the other two in the room with a not-so-fond farewell with a few obscene hand gestures before running out of the building.

The two crooks looked at each other before letting out defeated sighs,

“Oh my God I have a headache.”

“....I told you we should have just stayed home today.”

\----------------------------------------------

Peter hadn’t expected to see Wade tonight. How did he even know where he was in the first place? He hadn’t texted Wade about anything tonight, and he was in a pretty secluded area on the outskirts of the city. Had he spotted him earlier in the night and just followed him? Creepy bastard, though he wasn’t in the least bit surprised.

“Man! That was a fun gig wasn’t it? Sure I didn’t help or nothin’ but it reminded me of the good ol’ days when we would team up! Remember? Remember those days Spidey? I sure do! I remember it like it was just forever ago, ‘cause it WAS! You know, I think we should do something about that don’t ya think? Hey! Crazy idea! Let’s do stuff NOW! Like, RIGHT now! We already kinda sorta started with those two goons back there, so let’s find _more_  goons to rustle up! How ‘bout it buddy-o-pal of mine?”

Peter cringed at the site of Wade chewing off his webbed restraints, gums obviously bleeding as the strong string cut between his teeth. Once the man was free and pulled his mask back down, not even bothering to wipe the blood off his chin, Peter took a moment to respond as he readied his shooters upon the rooftop, “I’m actually done for tonight.”

“Whaaaat? Already? It’s still earl--”

“Why are you even here? How did you find me?”

“I stalked you, _d_ _uh_. Police scanners are pretty useful--except for police. They really suck at their jobs lately.”

“I don’t know what I expected.” The hero monotoned, “Anyway--”

“You gotta go?”

“You know me so well.”

“Of course sweety~! I pay attention to you!” Wade responded in a sickeningly sweet tone, “Too bad it’s not, you know, _reciprocated_?”

UGH. Peter knew that he’d probably get cornered sometime. He wasn’t very good at constant avoidance. Eventually he’d feel guilty about it, but that wasn’t today. “Yeeaah, well, you know how it is--or not. Hero stuff gets tiring and sometimes you need to take a break.”

“A break from being a hero? Or a break from me? Cause, like, I’m just _guessing_ , but I feel like you’re avoiding me. Just a guess, of course! You’ve been making up all these excuses or ignoring me whenever I bring up patrolling and it’s like WHAAAAT? So by my _guess_ , I’d say you’re avoiding me. Are you avoiding me? It’s not that I’d be surprised or anything, I just thought we were starting to get along and stuff, but then you kinda backtrack and it’s, hahaha, it’s super fucking confusing.”

“I’m not avoiding you. I’ve been talking to you haven’t I?”

“Yeah, and that’s weird too! I was starting to get used to the idea, but then you act like you actually don’t wanna talk so I’m not really sure. I mean you _respond_  to me so I’m like okay this is good, but then it seems not so good later? I can admit my way of typing is too cool for school and you might not understand my advanced emoji, but you can just admit it instead of pretending like you WANT to talk to me! It _kiiiinnda_ sucks to be honest.”

“Well, I think you’re just being paranoid.”

“It’s a survival instinct! Anyway Spidey, you know how overly obsessive with you, so like, can you just tell me? I don’t really see a point in lying to me if it's just to avoid hurting my feelings or something.”

“What? You honestly think I’m trying to keep you from crying? What are we, in middle school?”

“Hahaha, what? Psshh, no?” Wade paused, “....are _you_? Cause I’m _stiiiill_ not sure--”

“No! I’m--Augh, okay, look. I just like to be on my own sometimes okay? And you’re just everywhere and constantly want to ‘hang out’ and I don’t always want to. I’m fine with the whole texting... _thing_ , but I’m still not over the whole thing that’s been going on okay? I can’t just pretend like nothing’s happened.”

“Yeah, no, I get that. I wasn’t asking you to dismiss stuff, I just wanted to help you patrol and stuff no biggie. I don’t even care. I didn’t _want_ to hang out today anyway.” Wade coughed as to hide the fake shudder in his voice.

Peter shifted his weight on his foot and crossed his arms. He opened his mouth in retort but quickly closed it as he was reminded of an earlier conversation between the two. The silence, as thoughts made their way through Peter’s head, made Wade anxious,

“I’m really okay with it though like whatever! I’ve actually got a _lot_ T of stuff to do tonight, I was just curious of what you were gunna say. I wasn’t gunna stay long anyway. In fact,” Wade looked at the nonexistent watch on his wrist, “Jeeze, wow, just look at the time! The Golden Girls episode I wanted to see again is gunna come on soon and I got all these plans--and this game I’ve been procrastinating on--Not to mention my blog needs to be updated. People message me all the time you know? Like ‘Hey Wade, where are ya buddy? You okay? You haven't updated in awhile.’ and ‘Can’t wait to see what you write next because your life is so much more interesting than mine!’ and ‘Can you post more pictures of your ass in costume? Can’t get enough of it!’ Hahaha, can’t disappoint my fans, you know how it is!”

Usually Wade’s rambles would float through one ear and out the other, but lately Peter has been catching things he didn’t mean to, and they would stick with him for a while. He already knew that Deadpool tended to get this way when nervous or anxious and would just say whatever happened to be on his tongue, but it all seemed a little sad, rather than obnoxious. Sad in a way he doubted Wade himself knew. Sad in one of those ways like when old people talk your ear off and want to show you their collection of knicknacks because their children and grandchildren don’t visit them anymore so they are just looking for anyone who’s willing to listen to them or spend time with them.

Peter honestly tried not to think in this way about the merc, but it was hard not to when he knew the man wasn’t doing this on purpose. He wasn’t all there in the head, and it made Peter feel guilty. He just wanted to hang out---but God, it was hard sometimes. Wade knew how to push his buttons when they were alone together, but it’s not like it was something he didn’t expect, he just had to mentally prepare himself for it, which took a lot of energy.

“Okay, I’ll make you a deal.”

Wade gasped, “A deal?? Hell yeah! I’ll do it!”

“You don’t even know what it is yet.”

“Yeah yeah whatever who cares let’s just shake hands and get it over with. I can deal with whatever you dish out little man.” Wade stuck his hand out and Peter quickly took hold of it,

“Okay, so it’s settled.” He shook the man’s hand and continued, “You agree that I will let you ‘hang’ out with me on the account of you not taking any more hit jobs. If you kill anyone then you and I can’t patrol together anymore and I won’t answer your texts, blocking you from my phone. You have to actually go out and _help_ people, even the ones that don’t ask you to.”

“Wait, what?!” Wade jerked his hand back and tried to shake the other’s from it’s grip, but Spidey held fast, “I take it back! I don’t agree, I don't agree!!”

“Nope, It’s a deal. It’s too late, we already shook on it. Besides, you can deal with whatever I dish out right?” Peter took back his hand and gave a proud smirk behind his mask. He still didn't really get Wade’s obsession with him--well, no, he got it, he just didn’t get how it came to be. The man should be stalking Captain America, not _him_. Oh well, this could actually work in his favor. There was no way that Wade would last very long on this deal, and it would be easy to manipulate the merc to do some good for a while.

Wade wiped his hand on his chest as if that would wipe away the deal, “No way José! It’s not like I just go around gutting random people off the street, you know? I usually kill _bad_ people! Bad people that _deserve_  to no longer be on this planet! I’m doing good by getting rid of evil! That’s my _job_! You know, the thing I do to get money, which makes me live a comfortable life and, I dunno, _survive_? ”

“You know, there are _other_ ways to get money, right?”

“Yeah, but nothing I’m good at! Do _you_ get paid for doing _good_?”

“Well...no, it’s a voluntary thing.I son't do good thing because I expect to get paid. I do it because it's the right thing to do. Besides, I have other jobs besides protecting people you know.”

“So, what? You expect me to go fill out some applications? Make a resume of my past jobs? Sure! Decapitation is a _great_ skill that is appreciated worldwide.  Maybe I can get a part time job at a pancake house, yeah? I’m _great_ at making pancakes. I know that sounded like sarcasm, but I’m actually great at making pancakes.”

“Okay, okay I get it, calm down.” Peter scratched the back of his neck. Wade had a point, it sucked, but it was a point made. Just because he had a point though, didn’t make it a good excuse. It wasn’t Peter’s problem on how Wade made a living besides being your standard as-good-as-they-can-possibly-get citizen of New York--or wherever he’s from--Canada. “You’re a grown man...in a way. I’m sure you can figure things out.”

“Spidey! This is blasphemy! Totes magotes unfair!! You are asking the impossible--I’m a mercenary! Do you _really_ think I’m gunna keep on with this deal for _friendship_  of all things??”

“Woah, friendship is a _strong_ word--”

“Augh, _fine_! You convinced me to at least _try_. But once I get bored, don’t blame me if you end up with someone’s decapitated head under your covers.” Wade crossed his arms in an obvious unhappy fashion, “You drive a hard bargain Spidey.”

“Uuuhh, good?” Peter raised an eyebrow, not sure what the hell had just happened, but felt like he should be satisfied with the outcome. “Okay, so, just to make sure you keep your word I’ll--”

“See you at my place?”

“...what?”

“Firday? At seven?”

Peter squinted, “...no?”

“Eight?”

“What--No, stop saying numbers!”

“Okay, fine! Nine! But that’s my final offer!”

“What are you even talking about?”

“Uh, _duh_ Spidey. Hanging out? That was the deal right? We hang out if I do good? We shook on it! No takesies backsies!”

“Wh--That’s not what I meant! I just meant patrolling! I was just quoting how you were saying it!”

“Then you should have said what you meant, Horton. Because I’m like one of those literal genies, and I don’t understand anything unless you spell it out for me sooooo woopsies~!”

“I’m _not_  doing that. I’m not--I’m not going to your _house_.”

“Uhm, first of all, it’s an apartment. And B, you’ve already been there! Which is good cause I’m bad at giving directions.”

“Wade--”

“You going back on our deal? The deal _you_ made with me? The deal that you thought I couldn’t handle because inside you thought that I would find the merc life way too tempting so you thought that this would be an easy way out to get me to stop wanting to hang out with you?”

Peter felt defeated. There was no way he was going to back out of something like this. Besides, it was for a good cause, right? It would keep a murderer off the streets--oh god. A murderer. He was going to spend time at his _apartment_. In close quarters. It made him nauseated to think about. “....We have to set some ground rules.”He lifted a finger as Wade listened, “First, no touching.”

“What about on the leg?”

“No touching.”

“The hand?”

“No _touching_.”

“What if I just lightly brushed the tip of my fingers across your--”

“Wade! no touching!!”

The older man raised his hands up in surrender, “Fiiiiinnne fine fine. No touching. Got it. What else?”

“If I’m coming over, you need to clean your shit. Your place is a mess and it smells rancid. I’m not going to be polite about it if I have to suffer in the process. Your place sucks.”

“Uh, excuse me. It’s called _decoration_?”

“And last, do something about...well...you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. You got this...thing going on? Like, do you even shower after a battle?”

Wade gasped and took a step back with a hand on his chest, feigning hurt, “ _What_?? Of course I do---ssoomeeetimes. More sometimes than not always! You don’t like my manly musk Spidey? You don’t like when my essence flows through your nostrils and into your body so that a part of me will always be with you??”

“Ew. Don’t call it that. And don’t ever say that again.” Peter shivered and had to rub his arms to sooth his tense muscles from the description. “But ‘no’ to everything you just said. So take care of that.”

“Fine! Maybe I will! But it’s not because you told me to, it’s because I _feel_ like it!”

“Good enough for me.” The hero shrugged a shoulder before looking across the buildings to his forseen target to swing from. “So, Friday...I guess.”

Wade was suddenly bouncing on his tippy toes, fists clenched in excitement, “Yes, yes, a thousand times _yes_!! Oh man Spidey, this is cool! Do you like games? I got a lot--and movies! And--Oh man, my favorite show comes on Fridays!”

“Golden Girls?”

“It makes me blush how much you know me so well!”

Peter shook his head and Wade continued, “So you up for eight? Oh! We could p--no wait.”

“What?”

“No nothing! Okay, so, Friday at eight! Sounds good to me! I’m free, and you?”

Peter had to think for a moment, still curious about what Wade was going to say, “Sure, I’m free.” He would just include this in his Spider business, and see Gwen earlier in the week instead of their usual Friday night hangouts and spend the whole Saturday with her, or maybe just see her later in the evening if she was up for it. They hadn’t actually made plans on when they met, but since he usually started seeing her on Fridays, it was to be expected. He knew if he kept thinking about it, he’d start getting anxious, and he didn’t need that right now.

Deadpool lifted his fists into the air in excitement, “Sweet! You won't regret this Spidey--or you will, who knows? But it will be super awesome! Just two best buds, hangin out, havin’ a good time, totally not holding hands or touching at all! Just two grown men--One grown man and another probably grown man chillaxing like a couple of hombres. Totally gunna tweet about this by the way, our fanclub is gunna go bananas!”

“Just remember _your_ part of the deal, alright?”

“Oh, yeah, about that. Can we start the deal on Thursday? I have this job I gotta get to--But after that I’m totally free. Like, no _killing_  free!”

“It starts _now_ , Wade. Now or never.”

“Okaaaayyy _now_. I guess I’ll spend the week looking at the job section in the newspaper--those still exist right? Craigslist seems like a better idea. Kinda cool to get nine bucks and hour instead of a hundred thousand in two, but whatever. Though I _do_ know some good corners to stand on that could help me out.”

“God, Wade, just go, I dunno, ask S.H.I.E.L.D. or something.”

“No! S.H.I.E.L.D. _hates_ me! I already tried once, they wouldn’t even give me a chance! Apparently they couldn’t “trust” me. Like wow, way to judge a book by it’s cover.” He air-quoted before clapping his hands together, “Hey! Think you could put in a good word for me? Tell them that I’m a super cool guy?”

“What? I don’t work for S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Didn’t you at some point though? You, and a bunch of your high school friends? Was that a different universe?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’ll see what I can do. Though I’m not making any promises because I’ll have to ask the Avengers for help. I have to think of some kind of excuse because if any of them knew that we made a deal like this, they’d have my head on a platter, and yours. No matter how good the tradeoff is. They don’t want me within ten feet of you, and for good reason.”

“You make valid points. But, awwwww, so sweet! I could noogie you out of existence right now!”

_BEEP BEEP BEEP!_

Wade checked his watch, “Oh shit! Okay, Gotta go Spidey! I’m late for a very important thing!”

“Uh huh, go watch your show, Wade.”

“Oh, I _knew_ you’d understand! By the way, I don’t know if I mentioned, but I’m really starting to like the way you wear my name on your tongue.” He waved a hand, jumping off the warehouse’s roof and onto the pavement below. Peter knew something broke, but once again, Deadpool hid his limp, “Just remember, Friday! At eight! My place!”

Peter cringed and looked side to side, hoping no one heard Wilson’s booming voice. He gave a silent thumbs up and webbed his way back towards his home.

He was dreading the weekend, and dreading the things leading up to it. He just wanted to go home and go straight to bed and not think about anything else for the rest of the night.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and Kudos!  
> Your comments have really helped me to get this chapter up, and I adore and thank every single one of you!  
> Thank you for reading and giving me the will to carry on!
> 
> The thought of you guys enjoying what I write for you fills me with DETERMINATION.


End file.
